Chit Chat

"Plan to stand, or get wet."

2

Re: "Plan to stand, or get wet."

  • If you want pictures in the rain (which I didn't think were all that remarkable, TBH), fine.  Take pictures in the rain.  But do NOT drag me into it.  I really hate the "it's our day so it's okay for us to treat our guests as props" mentality.

    1st - Thank you so much for starting this discussion! TONS of traffic to my blog this weekend thanks to this post, and getting a link from TheKnot.com never hurts!

    2nd - No guests were dragged or harmed in the making of my wedding. In fact, everyone had a certified blast. The ceremony was only 15 minutes (maybe even less, actually) and no one had a problem standing. And of course guests were welcome to wait indoors if they didn't want to go outside in rain, with an umbrella, for 15 minutes, to watch the two of their favorite people get married. So, there was that.

    3rd - The camaraderie was actually quite legit and it's a shame you don't agree.

    I was really nervous about my ceremony but the rain took all of that away. My wedding was already small-ish (75ppl) and a destination wedding (we live in Florida, married in North Carolina), so it wasn't a "show up, eat, drink, watch people get hitched, leave" type of wedding. We wanted to create a sense of community to surround us for an entire weekend. We ended that weekend by getting married in the rain, and it was absolutely unforgettable. My guests loved it and to this day we get compliments on the sense of oneness we created with friends and family from various parts and pieces of our lives. I'm not entirely sure that would have been possible with better weather.

    Anyway - I know all of these posts have been pretty much straight hate for my wedding and I know responding to internet trolls is never a good idea. But I thought in this instance - on this site - some additional context would help so I felt compelled to reply.

    Thanks again for all the blog traffic! :)
  • I stopped reading at "we wanted an outdoor wedding  no matter what."
    The tornado made our pictures so amazing!  Like in a movie!  And none of our guests cared that they lost their cars, since it was OUR WEDDING DAY!!!1!1

    /sarcasm
    I live in Florida so hurricanes are a real threat. We had the wedding in North Carolina and still didn't escape the rain - but at least we traded a tropical storm for a mere drizzle.
  • eileenrob said:
    I was annoyed that she kept reiterating "This is YOUR day.  Everyone will be happy to do what YOU want!".  Then she had the nerve to lump guests and vendors together.  Yes, the vendors are professionals and have a job to do and are getting paid and (hopefully) tipped accordingly, so the rain isn't the end of the world.  You can't say the same for guests, aka the people important enough to you to have been invited to such a special event.  Way to treat them :s

    Interesting perspective. Ultimately, it was my day, and I did pay for, well, everything. (Parent's didn't help, it was all us).  So, yeah we had the day we wanted which included a 15 minute ceremony in the rain. :)

    For what it's worth: My friends and family still reference my wedding as the best they've been to. The reception was indoors and absurdly fun. I fed everyone well and had an open bar - no complaints, rain and all.

    Oh no! You poor dear!

    Of course no one has complained to you, they appear to have manners.


    I understand your disagreement with my wedding ceremony. I don't understand the bitchy attitude about me paying for my own wedding and mentioning it.... but hey, it's the internet and you're entitled to troll all you want. You do you, girl. You. Do. You.
  • I understand your disagreement with my wedding ceremony. I don't understand the bitchy attitude about me paying for my own wedding and mentioning it.... but hey, it's the internet and you're entitled to troll all you want. You do you, girl. You. Do. You.


    Luckily for my friends and family "me doing me" also means not treating them like shit and putting immature "visions" ahead of them.

    My husband and I (I think you have one too - remember him? or was it not his day?) also paid for our wedding in its entirety but it wasn't "my day". Our guests also experienced that particular day and managed to give a rat's ass about them while enjoying our wedding day.


    Your level of rudeness and anger toward a complete and total stranger on The Internet is impressive. +1 for the aside-style comment to remind me of my husband.

    Listen, Oh Great Cold One. This is a wedding-focused forum. A link to my wedding-focused blog was shared on it with commentary, and I (perhaps mistakenly?) believed additional context and clarification about my hotly debated ceremony choice would be beneficial given the audience. 

    Yes, it was my husbands day as well. He's the one who disliked the indoor/back-up option the most, actually. I was okay with it (having a good inclement weather plan is why I loved the venue, TBH) but my husband thought the rain was light enough, and I agreed with him, and so did my vendors, and ultimately so did my guests, so we forged ahead. And I don't regret it for one single second.

    But hey - don't read any of that to expand your perspective and change that little mind of yours in any way. Find something in there to ding me for and respond. You clearly excel at this, so why stop now?

    BTW: If you think asking your friends and family to stand in rain for 15 minutes to witness them celebrate their love and follow it with good food, great music, and free drinks is treating them like shit, then you have led a blessed life. I wish I had your perspective.
  • I saw the link - and hundreds of visits - from this post to my blog and thought "oh awesome! My rainy wedding day post helped someone else!"

    Because that's what I've heard over and over and over again in the last two years. I've been thanked by hundreds of people - brides, grooms, bridesmaids, vendors of every kind. Over the years my rainy wedding day post has helped a lot of women who were extremely distraught, and that has been incredibly gratifying.

    Imagine my surprise to see nothing but anger, hatred, and negativity about me, my husband, my wedding photos, my entire wedding ceremony. And on a site I used to help me plan my wedding. (Though to be fair, I like WeddingBee's forum better and actively participated more there).

    And the most rude and inflammatory of those comments are from a moderator of this forum.

    I responded to a few comments, gave some additional context to others. If even ONE of you reads my comments and comes away with an "oh... I guess I could get that..." then I'll consider my job done.

    But for those of you who think I'm the worst person in the world because I asked the people I know and love the most in the world to stand in a drizzle for 15 minutes - you have led one hell of a charmed existence if that's something you consider horrible treatment and selfish behavior. If you can't back up enough to reconsider how horrible of a person I am, I hope you can back up enough to see how blessed YOU are.

    As for TheKnot - I won't be back. But feel free to keep sending my (old) blog the traffic. It just helps my blog become easier to find for those frantically Googling what to do if it rains on their wedding day. And right or wrong, my experience has helped.
  • eileenrob said:
    Why's she referring to us as trolls?  She came here, made her comments, and deleted her account.  By definition, isn't a troll someone who drops the bomb and bounces?

    Didn't you know, anyone on the Internet who disagrees with you is a troll. That way you can justify your shitty opinions and attitude by saying "they're just trolls, I don't have to consider their opinions at all, I can keep thinking treating your closest friends and  family like props for pictures is an acceptable thing to do and they don't talk shit behind my back about how rude I was to make them stand in the rain. It's my day! "
    ei34OurWildKingdomPrettyGirlLostspockforprez
  • Well, a bride over on Wedding Bee posted her wedding pictures from yesterday.  It rained and her guests had to use umbrellas.  She and everyone else did not appreciate a poster asking her why she didn't have a plan B.
  • I'm curious to know how many guests of deleted users wedding still speak to her. My guess, very few. 

    kmmssgOurWildKingdomMairePoppyKnottie1452098987
  • OurWildKingdomOurWildKingdom in the 216 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    kmmssg said:
    Well, a bride over on Wedding Bee posted her wedding pictures from yesterday.  It rained and her guests had to use umbrellas.  She and everyone else did not appreciate a poster asking her why she didn't have a plan B.
    And now I have "Umbrella" stuck in my head.


  • ei34ei34 member
    Ninth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I read this article yesterday - I actually thought of this post too! ;)
    OurWildKingdomKnottie1452098987
  • eileenrob said:
    I read this article yesterday - I actually thought of this post too! ;)
    It's true that things go wrong at any wedding, and with an outdoor ceremony you could have a day that seems lovely and then there is sudden rain and there's no time to switch everything out. I was outside on Saturday when a downpour started suddenly and my weather app didn't even show that it was raining - as mere humans we cannot perfectly predict the weather. With an outdoor ceremony, even if you have a plan B you could inadvertently subject your guests to bad weather. 

    The thing I don't get is not even trying to prevent your guests from getting soaked by rain, or being frozen in the cold, or baked in the heat. The original blog post selfishly celebrated putting all of her nearest and dearest in a miserable situation. The Times article isn't quite as bad (one bride elected NOT to have her wedding on a beach during a hurricane, smart girl) but does include a bride who clearly knew way in advance it was going to rain and just told guests to be ready to get wet.  No, just, no. 

    I keep thinking also of guests who are not in perfect health and who could get really ill from getting wet and then sitting in those wet clothes in the reception hall. 
    image
    ei34Knottie1452098987OurWildKingdom
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Why would anyone edit the link out of this thread? 

    Linking to blogs or posts on other sites and then discussing them is not against the TOS. . . or has there been a new interpretation/change in the TOS that no one cared to share with the rest of us?

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    kimmiinthemitten
  • kimmiinthemittenkimmiinthemitten Detroit, MI member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    Why would anyone edit the link out of this thread? 

    Linking to blogs or posts on other sites and then discussing them is not against the TOS. . . or has there been a new interpretation/change in the TOS that no one cared to share with the rest of us?
    I'm guessing the bridezilla blog author threatened The Knot Gods despite thanking us for sending hundreds of clicks her way.
    image
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited June 2016
    Why would anyone edit the link out of this thread? 

    Linking to blogs or posts on other sites and then discussing them is not against the TOS. . . or has there been a new interpretation/change in the TOS that no one cared to share with the rest of us?
    Why would anyone edit the link out of this thread? 

    Linking to blogs or posts on other sites and then discussing them is not against the TOS. . . or has there been a new interpretation/change in the TOS that no one cared to share with the rest of us?
    I'm guessing the bridezilla blog author threatened The Knot Gods despite thanking us for sending hundreds of clicks her way.
    I take full responsibility for editing out the link, which promoted her blog, pinterest page and photographer. It looked like an ad to me. We were not threatened by op, she actually was happy to get the extra hits on her blog.

    @PrettyGirlLost is correct. Linking blogs and other websites isn't a TOS violation.
                       
    PrettyGirlLostkimmiinthemittenbleve0821
  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya mod
    Moderator 5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its
    We edit out people who post links to their own blogs to get clicks, I see linking others' blogs and getting them lots of clicks as the same thing.
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
    MairePoppybleve0821
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    We edit out people who post links to their own blogs to get clicks, I see linking others' blogs and getting them lots of clicks as the same thing.
    This was different though. 

    Atomic was the OP and she was not the owner of the blog, she wasn't actually promoting anything. . . she was just sharing something she thought was gag worthy so that we could all gag and roll our eyes along with her ;-)

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    OurWildKingdom
  • bleve0821bleve0821 The Shire member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    Weird box?

    When I initially posted the link, it didn't even occur to me that the author would see the traffic. (Blonde Moment.) If I had thought about it a little harder (beyond my initial "Wtf? Oh, hell no," reaction) I may not have posted the link at all. However, if Deleted User hadn't come back to gloat about all the traffic she was receiving, the link might still be posted, and she might still be getting all this traffic.


    "And when they use our atoms to make new lives, they won’t just be able to take one, they’ll have to take two, one of you and one of me..."
    --Philip Pullman

    PrettyGirlLostMairePoppy
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