Snarky Brides

2016 wedding season snarks

peachy13peachy13 in my cubicle, doing very important work member
Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
I'm feeling extra snarky today because MDW was a blast and now I'm back at work, but with this time of year comes a fresh wedding season full of etiquette blunders and yucky planning!

What 2016 is looking like so far in my circle:

1- HS friend had a wedding this past Saturday, during MDW. I wasn't invited but I was able to lurk on the couples's wedding website since the bride posted a link on her FB wall. There was a whole page devoted to the holiday weekend and what guests should do and see. Because obviously everyone wants to spend every part of their long, holiday weekend doing things in the vicinity of your wedding venue.

2 - Cousin is getting married this August. A few weeks ago she posted on her facebook: "ladies I need your addresses for my shower" and tagged no one. Over the weekend she sent me a text saying that she never received my response from her facebook status and needs my address. Not sure if she's planning her own shower and why she doesn't still have my address from when she sent me a holiday card in December.

3- Coworker is getting married this August. She spent my entire engagement shaking her head at little things that I was doing which were perfectly etiquette friendly (such as my long engagement, my 8 bridesmaids, my guest list, my large shower, etc.), but has already let me know that she is 1) likely going to get married the day before her wedding for religious purposes, 2) B list, and 3) have an unplugged ceremony "because it's ridiculously rude when people can't be present during a wedding."

4 - H's family member getting married in Sept. Only registry is a honeyfund with a super cute note letting everyone know that "we'll be doing a local 'minimoon' post-wedding but would LOVE the vacation of our dreams with your help! Please help send us to Hawaii this winter for our real honeymoon!" Because obviously a honeymoon is only real if it involves expensive travel and beaches.



Tell me yours!
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Re: 2016 wedding season snarks

  • 1. My brother is having his PPD over 4th of July weekend in a vacation spot which means ridiculously expensive hotels and they pretty much booked up 6 months ago... I'm not going because honestly he's been a dick to me since my wedding, I'm not supporting his PPD since he's decided to lie to almost all his guests to get presents, and DH and I always have plans during July 4th weekend b/c his b'day is around that time so it's always a family get together (and to be honest I like DH's family more than mine...). My mom has been a peach through all of this her most recent offense texting me last minute about the "bridal shower" for his wife with less than a weeks notice with it being a 12hr drive plus she knew I was going to be across the country for work that weekend. Now she has my aunt texting me telling me she hopes I'll be able to make it because that's always my mom's action when she disapproves of a decision i've made is to have her sister confront me about it.

    2. We're supposed to go to a wedding in August for some friends that were in our wedding party. We aren't in theirs which is fine but since our wedding they've backed out of any plans we've had with them and won't commit to any new ones so that feels crappy though not really a wedding etiquette issue. 

    3. We've got another PPD for DH's best friend in September but we are going and being supportive of that one. While I don't really agree with their reasons they are being honest about it and honestly he's a really good friend to DH and he and his wife were a huge help to us at our wedding without us even asking so I don't really mind this one.
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  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya mod
    Moderator 5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its
    I've been to two weddings already this season. Both had switchover cash bars. One even put on the invitation "reception 6-11, open bar 7-9". They had a cocktail reception too and the apps weren't enough to be a meal. The other was my aunt who had a $500 tab and then it went to cash. I saw my dad put at least $200 on the bar to keep it going. There also wasn't enough parking or seating for their backyard ceremony.
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
  • pinkcow13pinkcow13 The Concrete Jungle member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    These are not mine, they are my coworker's, but they're good. My coworker is in a destination wedding later on this year that will be in Costa Rica. The bride messaged them all insisting that each member of the WP stay together in house she wants to rent that will cost $300 per couple. When other member of the BP tried to explain that this was simply too much money she threw a fit and told them they were ruining her wedding. I also think the Costa Rica wedding is going to be a PPD, I feel like I remember her telling me that they already went to City Hall.

    There is another wedding that she's in, and the Bride asked a mutual friend to be a bridesmaid. The friend told her that she wasn't sure if she would be able to be a bridesmaid because she and her husband are planning to move out of state around that time. The bride proceeded to complain to my coworker about this friend who - was also ruining her wedding! How dare she move around the time she's getting married? Thankfully my coworker knocked some sense into that one.
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    imageimageimage


     

  • 1) FSIL's wedding is next week and there is so much drama for some reason (mostly from FBIL and his wife)...I was watching the group text this morning like...
     

    2) PPD in the fall...knowing their personalities and their families, it's going to be a circus..but hopefully a circus with an open bar (probably a cash bar TBH).

    3) We have a STD for next April on our fridge..I don't recall my name being on the envelope with FI's, hopefully it was just overlooked on the STDs.
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    Sherbie25
  • Both weddings we've been invited to so far this year, have left us wondering if we truly are invited. 

    1. Co-worker's son (who is also a co-worker but we're not as close) got married a few weeks ago. I knew the date of the wedding and really wasn't expecting an invitation. Four days before the wedding, I received a group text from the mother of the groom. It was a picture of the invitation. Printed directly on the invitation was registry info and a cash bar announcement. We didn't attend but some of our other co-workers on the text did. We did send a very nice gift and still haven't received a TY note. (I realize it's not been long but I've got a feeling we won't ever see one). 

    2. In the first week of April, we received a save-the-date from husband's college buddy (addressed to husband and "guest" even though the couple had just received our wedding invitation weeks before). Their wedding is June 18th so it seemed a bit late to send a STD, but whatevs. Last week it occurred to me we never received the actual invitation. I asked hubs about it and he contacted the groom who assured us we were invited but said they've run out of invitations. Idk if they would have let us know had H not asked. I still know nothing about time, location, or gift registry but I'm letting him deal with it. (Secretly I'm hoping he forgets because I do know it's an outdoor wedding and we live in the southern US--hot as hell!) 
    image


  • Pretty sure we just got a b list invite to a rehearsal dinner (got the invite yesterday, rsvp due date was may 24th)


  • We received a STD for an October wedding and the only information on it was the couple's names and the wedding date. Not much I can do with that as far as making plans for their wedding.
    thisismynickname2
  • We were invited to a destination PPD earlier in the month that we didn't go to, but it was enough drama for all of this year's wedding season!

    1. STD's went out 9 months in advance, normal enough, but they were addressed only to the man in each couple. This may have been the groom's flakiness; the wedding invitation came in with everyone's name on it. Oh, and we found out the groom still is unable to correctly spell the last name of a close friend he's known for well over 20 years.

    2. STD's had dates corrected with white-out tape and had a hand-written updated wedding date on it (they called off the original PPD late last spring and then decided to go through with it after all last summer).

    3. Groom called FI crying and pitched a fit that we weren't attending (we told him $400 a night at the resort was way too expensive, plus we didn't have the vacation days with our own wedding and honeymoon later this year!), and said they wished they could call it off because they only had 30 people out of 100 RSVP yes. Oh, and he told FI "just come without her, you can crash in one of the other guys' rooms for free, they won't mind!"

    4. RSVP date was 4 months before the actual wedding date, and we know from other mutual friends that they had a LONG b-list. Most of the b-list guests did attend, though! 
  • We are invited to a wedding in July. It will be a destination wedding. That's not a problem. The place they decided to get married in is really rural. They drove through the town and thought it was pretty last year.  There is one hotel with in a 20 mile radius and it is booked. 
  • 1. Went to a wedding in VA in April when the weather was 40 degrees. Couple had planned an outdoor ceremony and were hell-bent on keeping it outdoors. Everyone was frozen and miserable. Also, the officiant was definitely not legally ordained to perform marriages in Virginia so I'm 99% sure it was a PPD. We also sent that couple their gift in advance in March and are still awaiting a thank-you note. 

    2. Friend's wedding is coming up in a few weeks. She says they put a $3,000 limit on open consumption bar (250+ guests) and bar will close when that limit is reached. So basically the bar will be closed within the first two hours, by my estimate. She also put registry info on her invitation. The invitation wording itself was so messed up that it never even mentioned that it's a wedding. Looks like they tried to mash up different wordings they had found online and completely botched it. She had multiple showers (which is fine) but invited several people to multiple showers (not including mother's and bridal party). At those showers she brought a stack of envelopes and asked everyone to write their address to "save her hand from all the writing". I "forgot" to write mine each time. 
    --

    lnixon8
  • kylexokylexo Finger Lakes, NY member
    500 Love Its Third Anniversary 100 Comments Name Dropper
    My sister  and BIL got invited to a wedding this summer and she snarked about it to me.
    - Hosting their own co-ed shower
    - Shower invite was a pixellated photo of the couple
    - Wedding invite was gorgeous letterpress invite with teal doilies cut and glued to it (and not cut well, uneven edges, fraying)
    - Wedding invite includes link to their honeyfund
    - Wedding invite says to bring cash for bar :(

    Also my 3rd cousin is getting married this fall. We aren't close, she's not invited to mine, I'm not to hers, but she writes about it on facebook all the time:
    - link to wedding website posted on fb at least once a week
    - wedding website not password protected
    - frequently posts asking people to rsvp on the website
    - rsvp also not pword protected, just boxes to put in your name and how many people are in your party
    - honeyfund asking for money for a "sweet california road trip!!"
  • We went to a tiered reception over the holiday weekend. And we traveled across the country for it. *eyeroll* It's my H's childhood friend, so I was willing to cut them some slack. 

    The couple didn't even come around and thank people for coming. Like really? You're going to invite people to just the gift part and then not even make an effort to make the rounds? And they said no kids, so we left ours with a sitter but then there were at least 15 kids there. Mmmkay. Plus it was outside in the 90 degree heat. Oh and it rained toward the end. 
    *********************************************************************************

    image
  • I just went to a wedding this past weekend
    1) they b-listed their wedding party and made outrageous demands on attire, ex. $500 tuxs and 5 inch heals, hair and make up professionally done (all without paying for it, I was originally in the wp but stepped down)
    2) cash bar, cash bar, CASH BAR. And did I mention they never said anything about it being a cash bar, so we all had to use the ATM in the hotel lobby which charged a $3.00 fee per transaction *eye roll*
    3) there was a whole lot of drama with the B&G, mainly "why doesn't everyone just do what we say?!"
    4) the B&G wanted a celebration bbq the next day (Sunday) but didn't want to host it at their house, so they made the grooms father host it. 50 ish people in a small condo, so everyone was to be seated outside in 90 degree weather.

  • peachy13peachy13 in my cubicle, doing very important work member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    oh god, some of these are bad. My friend and his fiancee attended a wedding two weeks ago at a really swanky venue in Boston and the first question asked by one of our other friends was "was there an open bar?" --- on that note, I have noticed that a lot of people judge a wedding solely on the bar situation. It was funny to me that this was the first question asked. My friend responded that no, it was a cash bar. So basically the couple chose to have a beautiful backdrop for their wedding over hosting cocktails for their guests. Nice.
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  • TyvmTyvm member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments First Answer Name Dropper
    edited June 2016
    Trying to explain to my sister why you need to invite the partner of everyone with a live-in significant other. She pulled out the "it's our day" and "different sources will say different things", and "I didn't care when my live-in SO wasn't invited to so-and-so's wedding". 'Looks like we're gonna go on perpetuating the ass-hattery. 

    At least it hasn't affected me. Yet.
    There's still time for it to turn itself around...


    k thnx bye

  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 City By The Lake member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    peachy13 said:
    oh god, some of these are bad. My friend and his fiancee attended a wedding two weeks ago at a really swanky venue in Boston and the first question asked by one of our other friends was "was there an open bar?" --- on that note, I have noticed that a lot of people judge a wedding solely on the bar situation. It was funny to me that this was the first question asked. My friend responded that no, it was a cash bar. So basically the couple chose to have a beautiful backdrop for their wedding over hosting cocktails for their guests. Nice.
    LOL. Yeah, I mean, is it the right thing to do, probably not. But is it logical? Yes. People like to drink. People hate cash bar. My own DH said that the quality of a wedding is in direct relation to the quality of the booze. On that note, we got the best booze our venue offered (and did indeed get compliments on the wine in particular). 
    No judgement on a dry wedding. No judgement on a wedding with limited bar options. No judgement on booze quality overall. But when there is good booze available, for free, it stands out!
    The same goes for food too. People may expect rubber chicken, but when they get a great steak, they remember it. 

    In regards to the topic of this tread, my only snark is that a recent bride totally over-posted everything about her wedding. And then her honeymoon. And then her one-week anniversary. And now she's blowin' up the newsfeed with her excitement over her MOH's upcoming BIG DAY!!!!!! 

    ________________________________


    OurWildKingdomcharlotte989875
  • I guess I should be happy that the only annoying thing I'll have to deal with is a 4.5ish hour gap. 

    Maybe be its because we're out of town from every wedding we go to but this drives me insane. What am I supposed to do for 4 hours in a city I don't know in nice clothes besides drink. When I was 22 that sounded fantastic now at 31 that sounds exhausting. Also, the closest hotel (room block) isn't walking distance or near the reception and there are no shuttles. Awesome. 
    thisismynickname2
  • Only one wedding this summer. The ceremony started at 2:30, and the reception at 5. It was ok though, we had an hour+ drive between the ceremony site and the reception site to fill the gap! And if we got there early, there was an overpriced bar at the country club where we could hang out!

    /sarcasm. ALL of the sarcasm.
    Heffalumpscrunchythief
  • OurWildKingdomOurWildKingdom in the 216 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    1) FSIL's wedding is next week and there is so much drama for some reason (mostly from FBIL and his wife)...I was watching the group text this morning like...
     

    2) PPD in the fall...knowing their personalities and their families, it's going to be a circus..but hopefully a circus with an open bar (probably a cash bar TBH).

    3) We have a STD for next April on our fridge..I don't recall my name being on the envelope with FI's, hopefully it was just overlooked on the STDs.
    You *must* update us on 1), @CharlieRay.
    charlieray-2
  • OurWildKingdomOurWildKingdom in the 216 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    edited June 2016
    Only one wedding this summer. The ceremony started at 2:30, and the reception at 5. It was ok though, we had an hour+ drive between the ceremony site and the reception site to fill the gap! And if we got there early, there was an overpriced bar at the country club where we could hang out!

    /sarcasm. ALL of the sarcasm.
    Holy crap, an hour+ drive? Who does that? The longest drive I had was when my old babysitter got married, maybe 25-30 minutes but a straight shot down the freeway and easy to find once off the freeway. And no gap once we arrived; the bar was open right away.
  • Not a wedding I'm invited to, but a Facebook friend has been posting all weekend selfies with his wife tagged #weddingweekend. They eloped earlier this year but I guess from his posts they are now having a PPD. I'm interested in seeing from the photos how much of a re-enactment it is. 
  • OurWildKingdomOurWildKingdom in the 216 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    peachy13 said:
    I'm feeling extra snarky today because MDW was a blast and now I'm back at work, but with this time of year comes a fresh wedding season full of etiquette blunders and yucky planning!

    What 2016 is looking like so far in my circle:

    1- HS friend had a wedding this past Saturday, during MDW. I wasn't invited but I was able to lurk on the couples's wedding website since the bride posted a link on her FB wall. There was a whole page devoted to the holiday weekend and what guests should do and see. Because obviously everyone wants to spend every part of their long, holiday weekend doing things in the vicinity of your wedding venue.

    2 - Cousin is getting married this August. A few weeks ago she posted on her facebook: "ladies I need your addresses for my shower" and tagged no one. Over the weekend she sent me a text saying that she never received my response from her facebook status and needs my address. Not sure if she's planning her own shower and why she doesn't still have my address from when she sent me a holiday card in December.

    3- Coworker is getting married this August. She spent my entire engagement shaking her head at little things that I was doing which were perfectly etiquette friendly (such as my long engagement, my 8 bridesmaids, my guest list, my large shower, etc.), but has already let me know that she is 1) likely going to get married the day before her wedding for religious purposes, 2) B list, and 3) have an unplugged ceremony "because it's ridiculously rude when people can't be present during a wedding."

    4 - H's family member getting married in Sept. Only registry is a honeyfund with a super cute note letting everyone know that "we'll be doing a local 'minimoon' post-wedding but would LOVE the vacation of our dreams with your help! Please help send us to Hawaii this winter for our real honeymoon!" Because obviously a honeymoon is only real if it involves expensive travel and beaches.



    Tell me yours!
    Actually, if it's a destination wedding or people are coming from out of state, I have no objection to #1. Let's say I was going out to the West Coast for a wedding. I've never been west of Texas, so I would love some ideas for things to do beyond the usual tourist attractions.
    ILoveBeachMusicpinupbride6189Knottie1452098987
  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic Indiana member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    peachy13 said:
    I'm feeling extra snarky today because MDW was a blast and now I'm back at work, but with this time of year comes a fresh wedding season full of etiquette blunders and yucky planning!

    What 2016 is looking like so far in my circle:

    1- HS friend had a wedding this past Saturday, during MDW. I wasn't invited but I was able to lurk on the couples's wedding website since the bride posted a link on her FB wall. There was a whole page devoted to the holiday weekend and what guests should do and see. Because obviously everyone wants to spend every part of their long, holiday weekend doing things in the vicinity of your wedding venue.

    2 - Cousin is getting married this August. A few weeks ago she posted on her facebook: "ladies I need your addresses for my shower" and tagged no one. Over the weekend she sent me a text saying that she never received my response from her facebook status and needs my address. Not sure if she's planning her own shower and why she doesn't still have my address from when she sent me a holiday card in December.

    3- Coworker is getting married this August. She spent my entire engagement shaking her head at little things that I was doing which were perfectly etiquette friendly (such as my long engagement, my 8 bridesmaids, my guest list, my large shower, etc.), but has already let me know that she is 1) likely going to get married the day before her wedding for religious purposes, 2) B list, and 3) have an unplugged ceremony "because it's ridiculously rude when people can't be present during a wedding."

    4 - H's family member getting married in Sept. Only registry is a honeyfund with a super cute note letting everyone know that "we'll be doing a local 'minimoon' post-wedding but would LOVE the vacation of our dreams with your help! Please help send us to Hawaii this winter for our real honeymoon!" Because obviously a honeymoon is only real if it involves expensive travel and beaches.



    Tell me yours!
    Actually, if it's a destination wedding or people are coming from out of state, I have no objection to #1. Let's say I was going out to the West Coast for a wedding. I've never been west of Texas, so I would love some ideas for things to do beyond the usual tourist attractions.
    I agree. When DD got married on a holiday weekend about 60% of the guest list was OOT. The city where she was married is a destination for many with a zoo, many museums, historical things etc. She listed things on her website that they might have been interested in doing. Several of the guests made it a mini-vacation and did the things that were suggested on the website.
    OurWildKingdomKnottie1452098987charlotte989875
  • peachy13 said:
    I'm feeling extra snarky today because MDW was a blast and now I'm back at work, but with this time of year comes a fresh wedding season full of etiquette blunders and yucky planning!

    What 2016 is looking like so far in my circle:

    1- HS friend had a wedding this past Saturday, during MDW. I wasn't invited but I was able to lurk on the couples's wedding website since the bride posted a link on her FB wall. There was a whole page devoted to the holiday weekend and what guests should do and see. Because obviously everyone wants to spend every part of their long, holiday weekend doing things in the vicinity of your wedding venue.

    2 - Cousin is getting married this August. A few weeks ago she posted on her facebook: "ladies I need your addresses for my shower" and tagged no one. Over the weekend she sent me a text saying that she never received my response from her facebook status and needs my address. Not sure if she's planning her own shower and why she doesn't still have my address from when she sent me a holiday card in December.

    3- Coworker is getting married this August. She spent my entire engagement shaking her head at little things that I was doing which were perfectly etiquette friendly (such as my long engagement, my 8 bridesmaids, my guest list, my large shower, etc.), but has already let me know that she is 1) likely going to get married the day before her wedding for religious purposes, 2) B list, and 3) have an unplugged ceremony "because it's ridiculously rude when people can't be present during a wedding."

    4 - H's family member getting married in Sept. Only registry is a honeyfund with a super cute note letting everyone know that "we'll be doing a local 'minimoon' post-wedding but would LOVE the vacation of our dreams with your help! Please help send us to Hawaii this winter for our real honeymoon!" Because obviously a honeymoon is only real if it involves expensive travel and beaches.



    Tell me yours!
    Actually, if it's a destination wedding or people are coming from out of state, I have no objection to #1. Let's say I was going out to the West Coast for a wedding. I've never been west of Texas, so I would love some ideas for things to do beyond the usual tourist attractions.
    I agree. When DD got married on a holiday weekend about 60% of the guest list was OOT. The city where she was married is a destination for many with a zoo, many museums, historical things etc. She listed things on her website that they might have been interested in doing. Several of the guests made it a mini-vacation and did the things that were suggested on the website.
    I wasn't married on a holiday weekend, but my wedding was out of town for literally everyone (my family is from one state, his is from two others, and we live in yet another).  So we made welcome bags and put in several brochures from the city's chamber of commerce with all the good restaurants, vineyards, museums, etc.

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    OurWildKingdomKnottie1452098987
  • They b-listed their wedding party? How does that work, @pinupbride6189?
  • kvrunskvruns member
    5000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Going to one this weekend, originally it was treading in PPD territory, I tried to talk her out of it and now it is at least listed as a marriage celebration (supposedly they are getting married this week sometime? I don't really know, she hasn't told anyone but we know it isn't happening at the "reception"). I think there will still be surprised people thinking a wedding will be going on. Although they're doing all of the trappings of a wedding reception (special grand entrance, big wedding dress/tux, tiered wedding cake, DJ/dancing, toasts, etc) so basically a wedding reception without the wedding part.
    Knottie1452098987
  • kvrunskvruns member
    5000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Only one wedding this summer. The ceremony started at 2:30, and the reception at 5. It was ok though, we had an hour+ drive between the ceremony site and the reception site to fill the gap! And if we got there early, there was an overpriced bar at the country club where we could hang out!

    /sarcasm. ALL of the sarcasm.
    Holy crap, an hour+ drive? Who does that? The longest drive I had was when my old babysitter got married, maybe 25-30 minutes but a straight shot down the freeway and easy to find once off the freeway. And no gap once we arrived; the bar was open right away.

    a wedding I was in 2 years ago had about a 45 min drive between the ceremony and reception venue. I was in the WP so I was in a limo getting drunk and didn't care but I felt bad for everyone else.
  • TyvmTyvm member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments First Answer Name Dropper
    Knottie1434655985 said:
    They b-listed their wedding party? How does that work ?
    I'm guessing they had a list of A-list GM/BM and if they couldn't participate (expense, travel, etc) they had back-up people to ask?


    k thnx bye

  • lovesclimbinglovesclimbing Alaska member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    I think asking for money stuff is just getting more obvious. 

    I I was over at a friends house last night and they showed me an invitation (asking my opinion on what they thought was a typo because I'm a journalist). Front and center (attached over the front of the invitation) is a lengthy poem asking people to not give them physical gifts and just give cash. It included the line "so put some money in a card." And the icing on the cake? The invitation itself said "reception and potluck to follow."

    The friends I was with were all saying "they're older," "they don't need stuff," "now they can use it for the honeymoon or whatever" and I just sat there and silently judged. 
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