Moms and Maids

Closed

edited June 2016 in Moms and Maids
Thanks All

Re: Closed

  • Very fair points - I appreciate it!
  • To be clear - it wasn't about the money. I've had people suggest this as their response and I only started to consider it when it became a reoccuring answer. Hearing unbiased answers definitely helped put it into perspective!


    JediElizabeth
  • Why the DD? OP you were quoted.
    DrillSergeantCat
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    She was wrong to kick you out, but you were wrong to be giving her the silent treatment, especially on her birthday. This is a person you are close enough with to be asked to be in her wedding, and you're going to deliberately shun her on her birthday? I think that's weird. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
    SP29InLoveInQueensDrillSergeantCat
  • auriannaaurianna member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited June 2016
    I think you've both made mistakes here, and how you handle it will likely determine the course of your friendship. 

    First, she was wrong for insisting that you stay with her then telling you to make other accommodations. It's really not fair to leave you hanging like that. She was also really wrong for "kicking you out" of the wedding party. 

    However, going dark on her, ignoring her on her birthday and refusing to handle the situation like and adult, as in actually talking about the problem calmly wasn't the right thing to do. Additionally, if you didn't have the money to spend on the shower and bachelorette, even when people offered to contribute, you shouldnt have spent it. That was your choice you made on your own. I don't think you have any right in asking for any of the money that you voluntarily spent from the bride. 

    I think the best way to handle it, if you want to remain friends with her, is to reach out to her, apologize for ignoring her and not handling the issue as you should have, explain that you were hurt she told you to make other arrangements after insisting you stay with her and acknowledge you should have talked about it when she asked. 

    We often say on here kicking someone out of a WP is a friendship ending move, so if you no longer want this woman in your life you can drop this and move on. However if you would like to maintain the friendship I suggest reaching out to her and admit to your role in how things went down. Hopefully she will do the same. 

    ETF words. 
    So this.

    Now, if you're ready to end the friendship, the one thing you can ask for money back for is the dress if she had you buy a new one. But I wouldn't go there until you're ready to end it (also, you would need to give her the dress if she does pay you for it).
  • edited June 2016
    Thanks All
    Welcome!  Hope all worked out!
  • aurianna said:
    I think you've both made mistakes here, and how you handle it will likely determine the course of your friendship. 

    First, she was wrong for insisting that you stay with her then telling you to make other accommodations. It's really not fair to leave you hanging like that. She was also really wrong for "kicking you out" of the wedding party. 

    However, going dark on her, ignoring her on her birthday and refusing to handle the situation like and adult, as in actually talking about the problem calmly wasn't the right thing to do. Additionally, if you didn't have the money to spend on the shower and bachelorette, even when people offered to contribute, you shouldnt have spent it. That was your choice you made on your own. I don't think you have any right in asking for any of the money that you voluntarily spent from the bride. 

    I think the best way to handle it, if you want to remain friends with her, is to reach out to her, apologize for ignoring her and not handling the issue as you should have, explain that you were hurt she told you to make other arrangements after insisting you stay with her and acknowledge you should have talked about it when she asked. 

    We often say on here kicking someone out of a WP is a friendship ending move, so if you no longer want this woman in your life you can drop this and move on. However if you would like to maintain the friendship I suggest reaching out to her and admit to your role in how things went down. Hopefully she will do the same. 

    ETF words. 
    So this.

    Now, if you're ready to end the friendship, the one thing you can ask for money back for is the dress if she had you buy a new one. But I wouldn't go there until you're ready to end it (also, you would need to give her the dress if she does pay you for it).
    What if a BM ends it on her own? She shouldn't ask for any money back, right?
  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya mod
    Moderator 5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its
    aurianna said:
    I think you've both made mistakes here, and how you handle it will likely determine the course of your friendship. 

    First, she was wrong for insisting that you stay with her then telling you to make other accommodations. It's really not fair to leave you hanging like that. She was also really wrong for "kicking you out" of the wedding party. 

    However, going dark on her, ignoring her on her birthday and refusing to handle the situation like and adult, as in actually talking about the problem calmly wasn't the right thing to do. Additionally, if you didn't have the money to spend on the shower and bachelorette, even when people offered to contribute, you shouldnt have spent it. That was your choice you made on your own. I don't think you have any right in asking for any of the money that you voluntarily spent from the bride. 

    I think the best way to handle it, if you want to remain friends with her, is to reach out to her, apologize for ignoring her and not handling the issue as you should have, explain that you were hurt she told you to make other arrangements after insisting you stay with her and acknowledge you should have talked about it when she asked. 

    We often say on here kicking someone out of a WP is a friendship ending move, so if you no longer want this woman in your life you can drop this and move on. However if you would like to maintain the friendship I suggest reaching out to her and admit to your role in how things went down. Hopefully she will do the same. 

    ETF words. 
    So this.

    Now, if you're ready to end the friendship, the one thing you can ask for money back for is the dress if she had you buy a new one. But I wouldn't go there until you're ready to end it (also, you would need to give her the dress if she does pay you for it).
    What if a BM ends it on her own? She shouldn't ask for any money back, right?

    You have a bridesmaid who dropped out of your wedding too?!?!!?
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
  • aurianna said:
    I think you've both made mistakes here, and how you handle it will likely determine the course of your friendship. 

    First, she was wrong for insisting that you stay with her then telling you to make other accommodations. It's really not fair to leave you hanging like that. She was also really wrong for "kicking you out" of the wedding party. 

    However, going dark on her, ignoring her on her birthday and refusing to handle the situation like and adult, as in actually talking about the problem calmly wasn't the right thing to do. Additionally, if you didn't have the money to spend on the shower and bachelorette, even when people offered to contribute, you shouldnt have spent it. That was your choice you made on your own. I don't think you have any right in asking for any of the money that you voluntarily spent from the bride. 

    I think the best way to handle it, if you want to remain friends with her, is to reach out to her, apologize for ignoring her and not handling the issue as you should have, explain that you were hurt she told you to make other arrangements after insisting you stay with her and acknowledge you should have talked about it when she asked. 

    We often say on here kicking someone out of a WP is a friendship ending move, so if you no longer want this woman in your life you can drop this and move on. However if you would like to maintain the friendship I suggest reaching out to her and admit to your role in how things went down. Hopefully she will do the same. 

    ETF words. 
    So this.

    Now, if you're ready to end the friendship, the one thing you can ask for money back for is the dress if she had you buy a new one. But I wouldn't go there until you're ready to end it (also, you would need to give her the dress if she does pay you for it).
    What if a BM ends it on her own? She shouldn't ask for any money back, right?

    You have a bridesmaid who dropped out of your wedding too?!?!!?
    Lol!  No. Just curious. Haven't asked anyone yet. 
  • Knottie1464358002 With all the aggravation and stress, sounds like it's for the best you got kicked out of the wedding.  Sucks that you spent so much money.  
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