Wedding Woes

Ick, ick, ick!

Dear Prudence,
My boyfriend is amazing, but his parents have a loose concept of hygiene. I’m admittedly a bit of a germaphobe but this weekend his mom made brunch while announcing she was sick, coughing over the plates, licking her fingers before touching food, using paper towels from out of the garbage to wipe off food prep surfaces, and using the dog’s water bowl (with a secondslong rinse) as a serving bowl. I love this guy and want to spend my life with him, but I can’t fake indigestion or lack of appetite for the next 10 years. If I talk to him about it, he’ll just say he eats their food and he’s fine. What do I do?

—Gross In-Laws

Re: Ick, ick, ick!

  • I'm pretty "crunchy," but I'm completely horrified by this.  I don't even...why?!
  • I may have just thrown up in my mouth a little. The part about the dog's water bowl is so gross I can't even imagine it. 

    "And when they use our atoms to make new lives, they won’t just be able to take one, they’ll have to take two, one of you and one of me..."
    --Philip Pullman

  • That's not a loose concept of hygiene.   That's a way to get a business shut down if they were operating a restaurant!

    If the BF can't see that this is piss poor then he really isn't amazing. 
  • Ewww, I'd be eating BEFORE I arrived at their home.
  • What the actual fuck?
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
  • That's disgusting.  I'm not the neatest person on earth, but I couldn't even fathom doing even one of the things LW's BF's mom did while preparing a meal.

    I have two wonderful dogs, but their water bowls for a serving dish?  Shivers down my spine thinking about doing that.

    This would probably be a deal breaker if BF felt nothing was wrong with the way his mom prepared the meal.  I don't think I'd ever let HIM cook for me, if that was the way he was taught to cook!  So much of learning is by example, I'd be very afraid of how he prepares meals.

  • ALWAYS eat before going to someone's place with habits like that..  Nothing more, nothing less..  Or suggest you bring a dish...  Yea - NOPE!!! 
  • Every time I open this post to read a new comment, I have to scroll really fast to get past the OP.  I'm not sure I could do this.  The paper towels and dog dish thing made me gag.  I'd be super afraid of what habits BF would bring too.
  • H's dad's family is pretty gross. Not this bad, but they store food in their 3 season room (in the sun) and eat food that is WAY expired and I question their cleanliness. We avoid dinner there but when it's absolutely necessary, we avoid a lot of the expired stuff (like salad dressings and condiments) and try to only eat what we know is fresh.

    But that would be really hard for LW. I wonder how the BF feels about this.

    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
  • One of my aunts has a dog and cat, and she keeps the cat's food dish on the kitchen table so the dog can't get to it. The cat makes a mess. There's always kibble and dried cat food on the table around the dish. She never eats there (lives alone and eats in the living room) except when she has company. She would always clean the table before we ate over there, of course, but it used to gross me out to be eating off the table that I knew an hour before was crusty with cat food. Blech. I always chose the chair farthest from that spot.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
  • This is pretty much SOs parents house, except in some ways they are even worse.  I don't eat food his mom prepares. I used to feel bad, but I don't anymore. I just say I have already eaten or we have plans to eat out.  

  • there's more than 4 men in the world - find one that gives a damn about food safety. 
  • My FMIL brought dinner over and ate one night while I was at school. When I got home, my FI pulled the food out of the refrigerator and his mom started looking for the paper plates she had brought. She finally says, "Bryan, where are those paper plates? Did you throw them away?" He says, "Oh, yeah I think I did." So she goes rummaging through the bin until she finds them and says, "Yep here they are!" Pulls them out, takes the top one off, and puts the rest on the dining table. Nope. I picked them up, put them back in the trash, and continued dishing up my glass plate. I felt pretty disrespected by that. 
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