Is this uncharitable?

Heffalump · June 2016

I'm feeling misanthropic, so maybe it's unkind, maybe not.

I think I mentioned that BIL and xSIL are getting re-married after many shenanigans. And from what I'm hearing, they are throwing themselves a capital-W Wedding with all the trappings.

If this turns out to be accurate, it's completely bogus, right? I mean fine, marry, divorce, remarry, whatever. But I think a full-on wedding the second time around is a bit much, right?

Y'ALL: After I typed that, I thought "They wouldn't register, right? I mean, even they wouldn't actually register again...right?"

Wrong. They have totally registered again. Maybe it's for the completion discount, but then I would hope you'd have enough shame to set your registry to private.

Y'all...

*Barbie* · June 2016

judge away.

Heffalump · June 2016

I should ETA this but I'm not, so whatever. The whole reason I started thinking about it was FMLA, and wondering if I can use FMLA for medical care for a parent, and thinking that if I can't, there goes all of my PTO for the rest of the year. Which started me down the path of "I'll be damned if I'm going to use my scarce PTO to watch you all work out your relationship drama on the public stage."

See? Uncharitable.

ETA: I will stop being lazy and actually ETA this:

The Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) entitles an eligible employee to take up to 12 workweeks of job-protected unpaid leave to care for a spouse, son, daughter, or parent with a serious health condition. See 29 USC 2612(a)(1). FMLA leave may be taken to provide care for any individual who is the employee’s “parent” as the term is defined in the statute and its regulations. See 29 USC 2611(7).

In enacting the FMLA, Congress recognized the changing nature of the American population, including the growing number of elderly Americans and the growing need for wage earners to provide care both for their children and for their parents. For FMLA leave purposes, a “parent” is defined broadly as the biological, adoptive, step, or foster parent of an employee or an individual who stood in loco parentis to the employee when the employee was a son or daughter. See 29 C.F.R. § 825.122. “Parent” does not include the employee’s parents-in-law.

banana468 · June 2016

I'm sort of in the camp of "Do what you want" to a certain degree.

If they want the big 'ol hoo ha then they can knock themselves out as long as they're not trying to fund raise or have a cash bar or whatever.

And it's their own choice to put a registry together, but at this point no, I don't think I'd treat them as some wide eyed couple wondering what the miracle of intercourse might be like on their wedding night. They'd get a trinket from me because I'd wish them well but I'd have a hard time treating this like a couple who hasn't done that with each other before.

MNNEBride · June 2016

I'm judging with you.

FMLA can absolutely be used for an ill parent.

mrsconn23 · June 2016

Totally judging and yes, get that FMLA ball rolling.

thisismynickname2 · June 2016

banana468 said:

I'm sort of in the camp of "Do what you want" to a certain degree.

If they want the big 'ol hoo ha then they can knock themselves out as long as they're not trying to fund raise or have a cash bar or whatever.

And it's their own choice to put a registry together, but at this point no, I don't think I'd treat them as some wide eyed couple wondering what the miracle of intercourse might be like on their wedding night. They'd get a trinket from me because I'd wish them well but I'd have a hard time treating this like a couple who hasn't done that with each other before.

The bolded nearly made me spit out my coffee!

*Barbie* · June 2016

your FMLA is totally applicable to caring for your mother while she is undergoing cancer treatments. i'm guessing you'd want to tell your boss and HR rep that you'll be needing to take days off for her and that you'll let them know more as you know treatment schedule/appointments, etc.

*Barbie* · June 2016

also, i'd be rolling my eyes through the whole rewedding thing. even without your concern about taking PTO for health stuff, i'd still be meh about spending my vacation time on that nonsense. i'd still say judge away.

Heffalump · June 2016

*Barbie* said:

also, i'd be rolling my eyes through the whole rewedding thing. even without your concern about taking PTO for health stuff, i'd still be meh about spending my vacation time on that nonsense. i'd still say judge away.

Especially since it's mid-December. It's not a convenient time to go out of town, shenanigans notwithstanding.

banana468 · June 2016

This definitely doesn't carry the same weight as another wedding and having it in December would make it lower on my list.

*Barbie* · June 2016

Heffalump said:

show previous quotes

*Barbie* said:

also, i'd be rolling my eyes through the whole rewedding thing. even without your concern about taking PTO for health stuff, i'd still be meh about spending my vacation time on that nonsense. i'd still say judge away.

Especially since it's mid-December. It's not a convenient time to go out of town, shenanigans notwithstanding.

Yeah, that's one reason that we decided to do a cruise out of Galveston over Christmas - we can drive to Galveston in ~90 minutes, everywhere else we would be dealing with mobs at airports and crazy transit prices.

OurWildKingdom · June 2016

@Heffalump, given the news you just received, I can definitely see why you'd feel uncharitable.

I wonder if the outlaws would like a metal chicken or a black velvet painting better?

ETA: I got it! How about a Big Eyes knockoff?

http://www.geeksofdoom.com/2014/09/18/first-trailer-tim-burtons-big-eyes/big-eyes-margaret-keane-tim-burton

mrsconn23 · June 2016

OurWildKingdom said:

@Heffalump, given the news you just received, I can definitely see why you'd feel uncharitable.

I wonder if the outlaws would like a metal chicken or a black velvet painting better?

ETA: I got it! How about a Big Eyes knockoff?

http://www.geeksofdoom.com/2014/09/18/first-trailer-tim-burtons-big-eyes/big-eyes-margaret-keane-tim-burton

They totally need a Beyonce.

OurWildKingdom · June 2016

Oh, I have more, @mrs.conn23

http://www.popsugar.com/home/15-Totally-Weird-Wedding-Gifts-2010-05-19-070000-8476323?slide=13

GBCK · June 2016

If you get FMLA paperwork ready and have the ball rolling, you odn't have to USE it--but it's better to have the option than not, IMO.

And 'damn, I didn't realize it would be a big shindig; no PTO left, so sorry Charlie. Here, have a new teakettle" sounds like a good answer to me.

Heffalump · June 2016

GBCK said:

If you get FMLA paperwork ready and have the ball rolling, you odn't have to USE it--but it's better to have the option than not, IMO.

And 'damn, I didn't realize it would be a big shindig; no PTO left, so sorry Charlie. Here, have a new teakettle" sounds like a good answer to me.

Better than my original thought: "Oh, we didn't think you were actually serious about that."

Is this uncharitable?

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