Snarky Brides

Invite my kid to your wedding: Trust me — you’ll regret it if you don’t

madamerwinmadamerwin member
500 Love Its 1000 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper
edited June 2016 in Snarky Brides
http://www.salon.com/2016/06/25/invite_my_kid_to_your_wedding_trust_me_youll_regret_it_if_you_dont/

We had kids at our wedding, but if I knew this author, I may have not invited their kids just on principle. Entitled much?

ETA: Some comments on the article claim it's satire. If that's the case, this dude sucks at satire. But I am pretty sure he's serious(ly entitled).
BabyFruit Ticker

Re: Invite my kid to your wedding: Trust me — you’ll regret it if you don’t

  • This is so stupid.  I had kids at my wedding too, but I don't blame people for wanting an adults only wedding.

    I admit, I don't like some of the excuses people give for wanting adults only.  Like "I don't want the baby to take attention from me" or "Kids shouldn't be around a bunch of adults drinking".

    BUT... I do understand not wanting a bunch of kids, especially depending on the type of wedding you want and what the kids ages are.  When DD was an infant, I would've been a little irritated if she hadn't been invited.  She was really good and quiet when we took her places.  Slept and nursed a lot.  Now that she's 2.... I wouldn't bring her to a wedding even if she were invited.  It would NOT be "cute" when she had her tantrums.  I do NOT expect her to be invited.

    SaveSave
    OurWildKingdom
  • Satire or not, I couldn't even get past the first sentence:

    "Wedding season is upon us and, bless you, you’ve decided that—despite all evidence to the contrary—yours is the love that’s going to last."

    The only guests who were invited to OUR wedding were those who believe our marriage is forever.  Which means you and your everloving offspring would have stayed home.

    Wow, I'm really in a mood today.

    ETA: okay, I skimmed the rest of the words on the page.  I am disgusted. I can't even find the words. 
    That quote is especially irritating because presumably the author thinks his relationship is going to last. This guy is so pretentious, he even informs us what real love is: 
    "I, too, was once young and hopeful and in love—before the slow dawning realization that true love really just means picking sweetie’s socks off the floor ad infinitum."
    Wow, thanks for that amazing insight! So wise! (Sarcasm)
    thisismynickname2scrunchythiefInLoveInQueenskkcc2015
  • bleve0821bleve0821 The Shire member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    Satire or not, I couldn't even get past the first sentence:

    "Wedding season is upon us and, bless you, you’ve decided that—despite all evidence to the contrary—yours is the love that’s going to last."

    The only guests who were invited to OUR wedding were those who believe our marriage is forever.  Which means you and your everloving offspring would have stayed home.

    Wow, I'm really in a mood today.

    ETA: okay, I skimmed the rest of the words on the page.  I am disgusted. I can't even find the words. 
    That quote is especially irritating because presumably the author thinks his relationship is going to last. This guy is so pretentious, he even informs us what real love is: 
    "I, too, was once young and hopeful and in love—before the slow dawning realization that true love really just means picking sweetie’s socks off the floor ad infinitum."
    Wow, thanks for that amazing insight! So wise! (Sarcasm)
    See, I just assumed his marriage died a fiery legal death, which is why he was so bitter about mine.


    "And when they use our atoms to make new lives, they won’t just be able to take one, they’ll have to take two, one of you and one of me..."
    --Philip Pullman

    InLoveInQueensYogaSandyrandomslove
  • We're inviting kids to our wedding and I definitely agree that kids on the dance floor are hilarious.....but that guy sounds like an idiot. 
    OurWildKingdomThisShamanluvsaMage
  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 City By The Lake member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Holier-than-thou, table for one. 

    Blech. 

    I really don't care if kids are at weddings. I don't. We had kid-free more because DH wanted it that way, and I didn't even question it because I totally didn't care. All our friends RSVPd yes, sans their kids. 

    I do agree people have some bullshit excuses for having kid-free weddings. All I think is that the dynamic is different. I'm having a different conversation with people at dinner if their kids are right next to them than if their kids aren't next to them. If the kids are really young, it kind of sucks that the parent has to pay more attention to them during dinner than to having conversations with the table. It's just a fact- kids are just high maintenance.  It is nice to go to adults-only weddings and have adult conversations around the dinner table.

    We have adult parties and family friendly parties all the time. Couples are free to choose if their wedding will be one or the other.  
    ________________________________


    madamerwincharlotte989875OurWildKingdom
  • DrillSergeantCatDrillSergeantCat Oklahoma City, OK member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    I have the cutest baby in the world (I know I'm biased, but in my case it's true) and I still wouldn't take him to a wedding if someone didn't want him there. He'll be at my wedding in September and I fully expect him to take some of the focus off of me. Oh well.
    OurWildKingdomThisShamanluvsaMage
  • OurWildKingdomOurWildKingdom in the 216 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    Satire or not, I couldn't even get past the first sentence:

    "Wedding season is upon us and, bless you, you’ve decided that—despite all evidence to the contrary—yours is the love that’s going to last."

    The only guests who were invited to OUR wedding were those who believe our marriage is forever.  Which means you and your everloving offspring would have stayed home.

    Wow, I'm really in a mood today.

    ETA: okay, I skimmed the rest of the words on the page.  I am disgusted. I can't even find the words. 
    I'm beyond words. If I ever have the misfortune to meet this guy, he's going to hear what I think of him and his satire. 

    We are having a family-friendly wedding because we both love kids (also, my family breeds like Mogwai) but we would never judge someone else for having an adults-only wedding. 

    If I were a betting woman, I would guess he's in the middle of a nasty divorce and nastier custody battle.
    DrillSergeantCat
  • kimmiinthemittenkimmiinthemitten Detroit, MI member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    edited June 2016
    Satire, my ass. I bet this Dad co-sleeps with his kid until he's 13, really thinks his kid will make it to the pros and blames every teacher for every grade less than an A. 

    And let's talk about his logical fallacies, shall we?  He's always looking for a night out, except for weddings, and he'd rather spend twice on your gift than spend the same or less money on a sitter?  Not to mention, a child's presence doesn't prevent you from getting drunk, refraining from too much alcohol does. 

    I love my cousins kids, but when there is 20 first cousins, that means you're looking at damned near 50 kids. That's why we chose to not host them.  And most of my family just assumed as much, my cousins wife is a deputy in her county jail who works every other weekend and requested months ago to have her weekends swapped and arranged for her parents to watch the kids. She never even asked if they were invited, she just assumed and took care of it. Because that's what you do when someone makes plans in advance; you adjust accordingly if you want to go. 


    image
    OurWildKingdommadamerwinDrillSergeantCatsparklepants41
  • OurWildKingdomOurWildKingdom in the 216 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    edited June 2016
    I honestly don't think this was satire, just snarkily written. I agree with exactly ONE sentiment this guy had:
    And just fyi: pretty sure one of Dante’s circles is reserved for people who demanded destination weddings sans kids. Asking me to travel without my kid is essentially inviting me just to be polite, because it’s almost impossible to actually make happen and will essentially ruin me, financially.

    Everything else is just... No. Ugh. What an arrogant, presumptive asshole and way to play into the jaded stereotype that a wedding is just an expensive indulgence for a deluded bride who thinks she might actually have a shot at a happy future with the love of her life but LOL no sweetie, it's all baby puke, desperate weekend binge drinking, and unpaid housework from here on out. WTF?

    Yeah, don't get me started on the sexism in that dreck. 
  • OurWildKingdomOurWildKingdom in the 216 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    http://www.salon.com/2016/06/25/invite_my_kid_to_your_wedding_trust_me_youll_regret_it_if_you_dont/

    We had kids at our wedding, but if I knew this author, I may have not invited their kids just on principle. Entitled much?

    ETA: Some comments on the article claim it's satire. If that's the case, this dude sucks at satire. But I am pretty sure he's serious(ly entitled).
    I wouldn't have invited him either, kids or no kids. He's guaranteed himself an empty social calendar for the foreseeable future.
  • Kids as "Drunk Insurance" is hilarious.  Every wedding in my family includes kids.  Every wedding in my family has LOTS of drunk people.  Including some parents.  But I never seen or heard of a huge mess at one from either party.  Because our parents control their kids and our drinkers control their actions.
    madamerwinkimmiinthemittenOurWildKingdom
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Tenth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    edited June 2016
    You want your kid to be invited to a wedding? Get married and invite your own kid. 

    If my FI and I want to invite your kid to our wedding, we'll invite him or her. But don't tell me to invite your kid to mine. Our invitation to you is not a subpoena. If you can't come without your kid, qué será, será. 

    But if you tell me (not ask me) to invite your kid, what será is that neither you nor your kid will be invited.
    madamerwinOurWildKingdom
  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic Indiana member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    They talked about this on The Today Show this morning. They all said they didn't think kids needed to be invited. However, Natalie said that if it is a casual wedding (like a backyard BBQ) it is fine to invite them, but not to a formal wedding. Really?? I had a formal wedding and had kids there. DD had a formal wedding and had select kids there. A guest shouldn't insist on their child being invited though.
    OurWildKingdom
  • Tbh I think it depends on the wedding. Ours wasn't entirely "young kid" friendly so we age capped at 12 {age of H's step dad's nieces}
    I might have felt differently if we had kids ourselves, but felt like it was better this way. Location wasn't kid friendly either tbh
  • DrillSergeantCatDrillSergeantCat Oklahoma City, OK member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    Does anyone else see the title as a threat? 
  • OurWildKingdomOurWildKingdom in the 216 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    Does anyone else see the title as a threat? 
    Yep, me too!
  • I found someone's response - as a mother - in regards to the article!! Kinda good to see it from another p.o.v


    http://www.refinery29.com/wedding-etiquette-no-kids-personal-essay
    thisismynickname2
  • I have a kid, I love kids, I had kids at my wedding. But I admit kids can be pains in the asses. Adult only weddings are totally fine and this entitled guy seems like the kind of guy who thinks his kids are angels even if they're causing a scene.
    OurWildKingdomlyndausviInLoveInQueens
  • drunkenwitchdrunkenwitch member
    Sixth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited July 2016
    With that snotty attitude I wouldn't invite him or his kid to anything I was hosting.

    OurWildKingdom
  • I was just talking about this article with friends this weekend. One friend - who has 4 kids - said her thoughts depend on the venue. Her youngest is also almost 3yrs old. She'd rather not bring her kids, but depends on a lot.

    If our venue were more child-friendly, I don't think I'd have an issue with kids but the place was very fancy/posh so it would have been boring for kids.
  • Where do I even start? I don't like kids, I don't like the assumption that someday I will have them, and I don't appreciate his attitude. It's not his wedding, and if he cares that much about having his kids with him, he can stay home with them and all their snot-nosed screaming. Screw that guy.

    My venue actually requires me to hire a babysitter to be on site if there will be young children there. It's a big venue, in the woods, with plenty of opportunity for kids to get lost or hurt. There are plenty of good reasons folks decide not to have kids at weddings. 
  • londinium215londinium215 member
    100 Love Its 10 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited October 2016
    My favourite part is the whole "hey, if you invite my kids, I won't get drunk to the point of destruction and also I won't have a hangover in the morning, so I'll like you more!"

    We had kids at our wedding because we both genuinely wanted them there. My brother didn't have kids at his wedding because his (now ex-) wife really didn't want them there. Both are fine, jesus. Don't tell me that I need to invite your kids because it's better for you to not have to pay for a babysitter.
    OurWildKingdomSP29
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