Invite my kid to your wedding: Trust me — you’ll regret it if you don’t

madamerwin · June 2016

http://www.salon.com/2016/06/25/invite_my_kid_to_your_wedding_trust_me_youll_regret_it_if_you_dont/

We had kids at our wedding, but if I knew this author, I may have not invited their kids just on principle. Entitled much?

ETA: Some comments on the article claim it's satire. If that's the case, this dude sucks at satire. But I am pretty sure he's serious(ly entitled).

monkeysip · June 2016

This is so stupid. I had kids at my wedding too, but I don't blame people for wanting an adults only wedding.

I admit, I don't like some of the excuses people give for wanting adults only. Like "I don't want the baby to take attention from me" or "Kids shouldn't be around a bunch of adults drinking".

BUT... I do understand not wanting a bunch of kids, especially depending on the type of wedding you want and what the kids ages are. When DD was an infant, I would've been a little irritated if she hadn't been invited. She was really good and quiet when we took her places. Slept and nursed a lot. Now that she's 2.... I wouldn't bring her to a wedding even if she were invited. It would NOT be "cute" when she had her tantrums. I do NOT expect her to be invited.

bleve0821 · June 2016

Satire or not, I couldn't even get past the first sentence:

"Wedding season is upon us and, bless you, you’ve decided that—despite all evidence to the contrary—yours is the love that’s going to last."

The only guests who were invited to OUR wedding were those who believe our marriage is forever. Which means you and your everloving offspring would have stayed home.

Wow, I'm really in a mood today.

ETA: okay, I skimmed the rest of the words on the page. I am disgusted. I can't even find the words.

anidorikiladra · June 2016

AtomicBlonde said:

Satire or not, I couldn't even get past the first sentence:

"Wedding season is upon us and, bless you, you’ve decided that—despite all evidence to the contrary—yours is the love that’s going to last."

The only guests who were invited to OUR wedding were those who believe our marriage is forever. Which means you and your everloving offspring would have stayed home.

Wow, I'm really in a mood today.

ETA: okay, I skimmed the rest of the words on the page. I am disgusted. I can't even find the words.

That quote is especially irritating because presumably the author thinks his relationship is going to last. This guy is so pretentious, he even informs us what real love is:
"I, too, was once young and hopeful and in love—before the slow dawning realization that true love really just means picking sweetie’s socks off the floor ad infinitum."
Wow, thanks for that amazing insight! So wise! (Sarcasm)

bleve0821 · June 2016

anidorikiladra said:

AtomicBlonde said:

Satire or not, I couldn't even get past the first sentence:

"Wedding season is upon us and, bless you, you’ve decided that—despite all evidence to the contrary—yours is the love that’s going to last."

The only guests who were invited to OUR wedding were those who believe our marriage is forever. Which means you and your everloving offspring would have stayed home.

Wow, I'm really in a mood today.

ETA: okay, I skimmed the rest of the words on the page. I am disgusted. I can't even find the words.

That quote is especially irritating because presumably the author thinks his relationship is going to last. This guy is so pretentious, he even informs us what real love is:
"I, too, was once young and hopeful and in love—before the slow dawning realization that true love really just means picking sweetie’s socks off the floor ad infinitum."
Wow, thanks for that amazing insight! So wise! (Sarcasm)

See, I just assumed his marriage died a fiery legal death, which is why he was so bitter about mine.

southernbelle0915 · June 2016

WHAT?! This dude is way too self-important. To address his points:

1) I had a kid free wedding. I now have a kid. I do not regret having a kid free wedding. I also do not wish my kid was invited to weddings, nor do I get entitled/pissy when my kid isn't invited.

2) I never laugh when a meltdown occurs - my kid or anyone else's. I feel for the parent, but I still think it's annoying.

3) Just because other people might be a PITA doesn't mean your kid isn't also a PITA. Logic fail.

4, 5, 6) We had a packed dance floor despite no kids (plus, IMHO I think kids get in the way and hijack attention on the dance floor). Wedding pictures without kids are just as awesome. We went to a wedding without our kid last month and we were not a drunk "mess". Ugh.

In the time he took to think about and write this, he probably could have done a pretty solid search for babysitters.

[Deleted User] · June 2016

We're inviting kids to our wedding and I definitely agree that kids on the dance floor are hilarious.....but that guy sounds like an idiot.

thisismynickname2 · June 2016

Holier-than-thou, table for one.

Blech.

I really don't care if kids are at weddings. I don't. We had kid-free more because DH wanted it that way, and I didn't even question it because I totally didn't care. All our friends RSVPd yes, sans their kids.

I do agree people have some bullshit excuses for having kid-free weddings. All I think is that the dynamic is different. I'm having a different conversation with people at dinner if their kids are right next to them than if their kids aren't next to them. If the kids are really young, it kind of sucks that the parent has to pay more attention to them during dinner than to having conversations with the table. It's just a fact- kids are just high maintenance. It is nice to go to adults-only weddings and have adult conversations around the dinner table.

We have adult parties and family friendly parties all the time. Couples are free to choose if their wedding will be one or the other.

charlotte989875 · June 2016

I had a kid free wedding and I don't regret it one bit. Our dance floor was packed, I have fantastic pictures, and even though I had an open bar (and drunk people!) there was no mess (relationship or otherwise) for me to cleanup.

And seriosuly, this ass is really implying that the "better future self" is created only by having children?! Screw you. I'd hate to see what he was like pre-kids if this is his take now.

Maybe I am a super spoiled, entitled, child free snarky bitch, but I'm pretty sure if you need your kid to attend a wedding with you so you don't get drunk and wake up with a hangover you're doing this all wrong.

SaintPaulGal · June 2016

Ugg. So much gross.

I think I threw up in my mouth a little when I got to "And five years from now you will understand this exactly. You will be in exactly this position, if your marriage is what you think it is, if you’re lucky, make the baby, do the work, keep it together." Umm...you do realize not everyone is on the cusp of popping out a kid or two, right? Procreation is a choice many of us will select against, not to mention those who want children but are unable to have them. So no, we will not "make the baby" once five years rolls around, and it certainly doesn't mean my marriage isn't "what [I] think it is.'

Nope, Mr. Entitlement, you can't bring your kid to my wedding. My wedding is a party for my adult friends (Family is a subset of friends--if we aren't friends you aren't coming regardless of whether we happen to share a grandparent or not.) Your kid is not my friend. Your kid would be out of place. Frankly I don't care if a babysitter is expensive. You are the one who chose to procreate. Surely you realized that would come with certain costs and/or social limitations.

I'm sure you think your kid is adorable. Maybe your kid is objectively adorable. You know what else is adorable? Dogs. You know what else isn't coming to my wedding? Dogs. I'm sure dogs would look really charming in the pictures. I bet having a bunch of dogs on the dance floor would be sort of fun in a way. But dogs also get into everything. Their people have to spend a bunch of time and energy monitoring and caring for them. They socialize differently than adult humans. I don't dislike dogs, but my wedding is not the place for them.

DrillSergeantCat · June 2016

I have the cutest baby in the world (I know I'm biased, but in my case it's true) and I still wouldn't take him to a wedding if someone didn't want him there. He'll be at my wedding in September and I fully expect him to take some of the focus off of me. Oh well.

OurWildKingdom · June 2016

AtomicBlonde said:

Satire or not, I couldn't even get past the first sentence:

"Wedding season is upon us and, bless you, you’ve decided that—despite all evidence to the contrary—yours is the love that’s going to last."

The only guests who were invited to OUR wedding were those who believe our marriage is forever. Which means you and your everloving offspring would have stayed home.

Wow, I'm really in a mood today.

ETA: okay, I skimmed the rest of the words on the page. I am disgusted. I can't even find the words.

I'm beyond words. If I ever have the misfortune to meet this guy, he's going to hear what I think of him and his satire.

We are having a family-friendly wedding because we both love kids (also, my family breeds like Mogwai) but we would never judge someone else for having an adults-only wedding.

If I were a betting woman, I would guess he's in the middle of a nasty divorce and nastier custody battle.

kimmiinthemitten · June 2016

Satire, my ass. I bet this Dad co-sleeps with his kid until he's 13, really thinks his kid will make it to the pros and blames every teacher for every grade less than an A.

And let's talk about his logical fallacies, shall we? He's always looking for a night out, except for weddings, and he'd rather spend twice on your gift than spend the same or less money on a sitter? Not to mention, a child's presence doesn't prevent you from getting drunk, refraining from too much alcohol does.

I love my cousins kids, but when there is 20 first cousins, that means you're looking at damned near 50 kids. That's why we chose to not host them. And most of my family just assumed as much, my cousins wife is a deputy in her county jail who works every other weekend and requested months ago to have her weekends swapped and arranged for her parents to watch the kids. She never even asked if they were invited, she just assumed and took care of it. Because that's what you do when someone makes plans in advance; you adjust accordingly if you want to go.

coffeeparty · June 2016

I honestly don't think this was satire, just snarkily written. I agree with exactly ONE sentiment this guy had:

And just fyi: pretty sure one of Dante’s circles is reserved for people who demanded destination weddings sans kids. Asking me to travel without my kid is essentially inviting me just to be polite, because it’s almost impossible to actually make happen and will essentially ruin me, financially.

Everything else is just... No. Ugh. What an arrogant, presumptive asshole and way to play into the jaded stereotype that a wedding is just an expensive indulgence for a deluded bride who thinks she might actually have a shot at a happy future with the love of her life but LOL no sweetie, it's all baby puke, desperate weekend binge drinking, and unpaid housework from here on out. WTF?

OurWildKingdom · June 2016

coffeeparty said:

I honestly don't think this was satire, just snarkily written. I agree with exactly ONE sentiment this guy had:
And just fyi: pretty sure one of Dante’s circles is reserved for people who demanded destination weddings sans kids. Asking me to travel without my kid is essentially inviting me just to be polite, because it’s almost impossible to actually make happen and will essentially ruin me, financially.
Everything else is just... No. Ugh. What an arrogant, presumptive asshole and way to play into the jaded stereotype that a wedding is just an expensive indulgence for a deluded bride who thinks she might actually have a shot at a happy future with the love of her life but LOL no sweetie, it's all baby puke, desperate weekend binge drinking, and unpaid housework from here on out. WTF?

Yeah, don't get me started on the sexism in that dreck.

OurWildKingdom · June 2016

madamerwin said:

http://www.salon.com/2016/06/25/invite_my_kid_to_your_wedding_trust_me_youll_regret_it_if_you_dont/

We had kids at our wedding, but if I knew this author, I may have not invited their kids just on principle. Entitled much?

ETA: Some comments on the article claim it's satire. If that's the case, this dude sucks at satire. But I am pretty sure he's serious(ly entitled).

I wouldn't have invited him either, kids or no kids. He's guaranteed himself an empty social calendar for the foreseeable future.

scrunchythief · June 2016

Kids as "Drunk Insurance" is hilarious. Every wedding in my family includes kids. Every wedding in my family has LOTS of drunk people. Including some parents. But I never seen or heard of a huge mess at one from either party. Because our parents control their kids and our drinkers control their actions.

Jen4948 · June 2016

You want your kid to be invited to a wedding? Get married and invite your own kid.

If my FI and I want to invite your kid to our wedding, we'll invite him or her. But don't tell me to invite your kid to mine. Our invitation to you is not a subpoena. If you can't come without your kid, qué será, será.

But if you tell me (not ask me) to invite your kid, what será is that neither you nor your kid will be invited.

ILoveBeachMusic · June 2016

They talked about this on The Today Show this morning. They all said they didn't think kids needed to be invited. However, Natalie said that if it is a casual wedding (like a backyard BBQ) it is fine to invite them, but not to a formal wedding. Really?? I had a formal wedding and had kids there. DD had a formal wedding and had select kids there. A guest shouldn't insist on their child being invited though.

MissKittyDanger · July 2016

Tbh I think it depends on the wedding. Ours wasn't entirely "young kid" friendly so we age capped at 12 {age of H's step dad's nieces}
I might have felt differently if we had kids ourselves, but felt like it was better this way. Location wasn't kid friendly either tbh

DrillSergeantCat · July 2016

Does anyone else see the title as a threat?

OurWildKingdom · July 2016

DrillSergeantCat said:

Does anyone else see the title as a threat?

Yep, me too!

MissKittyDanger · July 2016

I found someone's response - as a mother - in regards to the article!! Kinda good to see it from another p.o.v

http://www.refinery29.com/wedding-etiquette-no-kids-personal-essay

JeeGooDowster · July 2016

I have a kid, I love kids, I had kids at my wedding. But I admit kids can be pains in the asses. Adult only weddings are totally fine and this entitled guy seems like the kind of guy who thinks his kids are angels even if they're causing a scene.

drunkenwitch · July 2016

With that snotty attitude I wouldn't invite him or his kid to anything I was hosting.

MissKittyDanger · July 2016

I was just talking about this article with friends this weekend. One friend - who has 4 kids - said her thoughts depend on the venue. Her youngest is also almost 3yrs old. She'd rather not bring her kids, but depends on a lot.

If our venue were more child-friendly, I don't think I'd have an issue with kids but the place was very fancy/posh so it would have been boring for kids.

FoxandCrow · October 2016

Where do I even start? I don't like kids, I don't like the assumption that someday I will have them, and I don't appreciate his attitude. It's not his wedding, and if he cares that much about having his kids with him, he can stay home with them and all their snot-nosed screaming. Screw that guy.

My venue actually requires me to hire a babysitter to be on site if there will be young children there. It's a big venue, in the woods, with plenty of opportunity for kids to get lost or hurt. There are plenty of good reasons folks decide not to have kids at weddings.

londinium215 · October 2016

My favourite part is the whole "hey, if you invite my kids, I won't get drunk to the point of destruction and also I won't have a hangover in the morning, so I'll like you more!"

We had kids at our wedding because we both genuinely wanted them there. My brother didn't have kids at his wedding because his (now ex-) wife really didn't want them there. Both are fine, jesus. Don't tell me that I need to invite your kids because it's better for you to not have to pay for a babysitter.

Invite my kid to your wedding: Trust me — you’ll regret it if you don’t

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