Let it go...LET IT GOOOOOOOOOOO!

mrsconn23

Dear Prudence,
I’ve been dating my kind, sweet boyfriend for about four years. He treats me well and believes in equality for all humans. He has one frustrating habit that I can’t make peace with, though: He reads a website that I am morally opposed to. It’s a site geared toward young men featuring bro-y, stream-of-consciousness pop culture content with seemingly little editorial review or journalistic integrity. While the news stories are fine, I can’t make peace with some of the other content on the website, like user-submitted photos of bikini-clad college students. And what’s worse are the comments: so derogatory, homophobic, and racist that they make my stomach churn.

He’s only interested in the news stories, but I still don’t like his reading the website because it helps keep them in business and further promotes this type of culture. I also think it looks bad when he shares articles from this site on social media. I imagine some people assume he is one of those horrible commenters. Because we’ve gotten in so many tiffs about the site over the years, tell me: Am I wrong to ask him to stop reading it? He hardly sees my point of view on this, arguing he’s not part of the problem because he doesn’t look at that content. I hate that I think a little bit less of him when he defends the site so vehemently. How can I make him see where I’m coming from? Or is this something I should just try to accept about him?

—Reading Habits

charlotte989875

The Chive? 

I think if he never engages in talk/behavior that supports the vile commentary then I think LW should say her peace about how other people view the website and move on. The idea of policing what he does online is a no-go for me. 

bleve0821

"I also think it looks bad when he shares articles from this site on social media. I imagine some people assume he is one of those horrible commenters."

Why, because you think that? I highly doubt a reasonable individual judges another for sharing news articles from certain websites. Clearly, he doesn't care, so I'm not sure I understand why LW cares what others think. It's not like it's revenge porn.

VarunaTT

Please.  Ex-DH frequented 4Chan for various reasons and it's pretty much the cesspool of the internet, which is really saying something.  

IDK why she even cares this much, this seems pretty nitpicking and controlling.

monkeysip

charlotte989875 said:

The Chive? 

I think if he never engages in talk/behavior that supports the vile commentary then I think LW should say her peace about how other people view the website and move on. The idea of policing what he does online is a no-go for me. 

This is where I'm at ^^

I have pretty strong moral beliefs, so if my significant other was promoting or engaging in anything like this, whether misogyny, racism, homophobia, etc... I wouldn't handle it at all.  But if what he's reading is not objectionable, then I wouldn't really care.  

I'm assuming this isn't like a "I read playboy for the articles" type thing, and his reading the news isn't an excuse to engage in other objectionable stuff.

I mean, I read things like Buzzfeed, which can be hilarious but also have some questionable stuff on it.

ShesSoCold

I feel like most Prudie letters looking for relationship advice are either non-issues or total trainwrecks. Like, it's either  "My wife beats me, cheats on me and steals from my parents. What should I do?" or "My husband prefers Puffs while I like Kleenex. Help!". No in between.

bleve0821

ShesSoCold said:

I feel like most Prudie letters looking for relationship advice are either non-issues or total trainwrecks. Like, it's either  "My wife beats me, cheats on me and steals from my parents. What should I do?" or "My husband prefers Puffs while I like Kleenex. Help!". No in between.

That's because the in-between is boring fluff and won't draw/keep a loyal fan base.  Drama/invention of drama = profit

DrillSergeantCat

charlotte989875 said:

The Chive? 

I think if he never engages in talk/behavior that supports the vile commentary then I think LW should say her peace about how other people view the website and move on. The idea of policing what he does online is a no-go for me. 

Hah! I thought the exact same thing! I used to admin a Chive group in my state and was told yesterday that I'm "chive nation famous." I'm still trying to figure out what that means since I was never once featured on the website.