Please check my invitation wording

OurWildKingdom

The invitations aren't going out for another month, but I still want to make sure everything is as it should be.

Front:

Together through space and time

The pleasure of your company is requested
at the marriage of
Ms. R M
and
Ms. M D
Saturday, the fifteenth of October, two thousand and sixteen
At two in the afternoon
At L Park, B Avenue and L Avenue, L, Ohio
Reception to follow in the K Pavilion

Back:

RSVP by October 1 to (216) _______
or P___________@gmail.com (M)
Or (206) ___________ (R)
Or return the enclosed RSVP card
To _____________________
Cleveland, Ohio ZIP

OurWildKingdom

RSVP card:


R M and M D
October 15, 2016
Number attending: ________
Names of all attending: ______________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________

Please mail to _____________, Cleveland, OH __________. We can’t wait to see you!

Not sure about the "We can't wait to see you," now that I look at it again.

STARMOON44

I think all the RSVP instructions are complicated and a bit much. If you are including a reply card, skip all of it. People can mail it back to you to the address you have printed on it, if a postcard, or on the enclosed envelope for it if not. Or, flip it around and just say to one email address or one phone number if you don't want to do reply cards. People don't need all the options. 

I dislike the "together through space and time" line. To me, it makes no sense and it also has nothing to do with the purpose of the invitation- supplying the who what when where details. 

I would just use your full names, and skip the Ms.  And just say at 2 o'clock- the "in the afternoon" is unnecessary and traditionally omitted. 

ILoveBeachMusic

I totally agree with @STARMOON44. I also think that traditionally the "at"s are unnecessary but I could be wrong.

OurWildKingdom

STARMOON44 said:

I think all the RSVP instructions are complicated and a bit much. If you are including a reply card, skip all of it. People can mail it back to you to the address you have printed on it, if a postcard, or on the enclosed envelope for it if not. Or, flip it around and just say to one email address or one phone number if you don't want to do reply cards. People don't need all the options. 

I dislike the "together through space and time" line. To me, it makes no sense and it also has nothing to do with the purpose of the invitation- supplying the who what when where details. 

I would just use your full names, and skip the Ms.  And just say at 2 o'clock- the "in the afternoon" is unnecessary and traditionally omitted. 

"Together through space and time" is a "Doctor Who" reference, but we can cut it. NBD.

I guess two o'clock is enough; I've been to lots of weddings, but never one at 2:00 a.m.

I wasn't sure about the RSVP options. I wanted to offer the RSVP card for those who would be more comfortable using it, but I also wanted the option to RSVP via phone or e-mail. I can definitely see how two phone numbers plus an e-mail plus an RSVP card would be needlessly complicated. Should we just do the RSVP card then? I worry about people losing it.

OurWildKingdom

ILoveBeachMusic said:

I totally agree with @STARMOON44. I also think that traditionally the "at"s are unnecessary but I could be wrong.

Now that you mention it, I see what you mean. It is a bit redundant.

STARMOON44

OurWildKingdom said:

STARMOON44 said:

I think all the RSVP instructions are complicated and a bit much. If you are including a reply card, skip all of it. People can mail it back to you to the address you have printed on it, if a postcard, or on the enclosed envelope for it if not. Or, flip it around and just say to one email address or one phone number if you don't want to do reply cards. People don't need all the options. 

I dislike the "together through space and time" line. To me, it makes no sense and it also has nothing to do with the purpose of the invitation- supplying the who what when where details. 

I would just use your full names, and skip the Ms.  And just say at 2 o'clock- the "in the afternoon" is unnecessary and traditionally omitted. 

"Together through space and time" is a "Doctor Who" reference, but we can cut it. NBD.

I guess two o'clock is enough; I've been to lots of weddings, but never one at 2:00 a.m.

I wasn't sure about the RSVP options. I wanted to offer the RSVP card for those who would be more comfortable using it, but I also wanted the option to RSVP via phone or e-mail. I can definitely see how two phone numbers plus an e-mail plus an RSVP card would be needlessly complicated. Should we just do the RSVP card then? I worry about people losing it.

I don't think you need to worry about people losing it. They'll figure it out. You're going to wind up having to call like 30% of them anyway!

ILoveBeachMusic

STARMOON44 said:

OurWildKingdom said:

STARMOON44 said:

I think all the RSVP instructions are complicated and a bit much. If you are including a reply card, skip all of it. People can mail it back to you to the address you have printed on it, if a postcard, or on the enclosed envelope for it if not. Or, flip it around and just say to one email address or one phone number if you don't want to do reply cards. People don't need all the options. 

I dislike the "together through space and time" line. To me, it makes no sense and it also has nothing to do with the purpose of the invitation- supplying the who what when where details. 

I would just use your full names, and skip the Ms.  And just say at 2 o'clock- the "in the afternoon" is unnecessary and traditionally omitted. 

"Together through space and time" is a "Doctor Who" reference, but we can cut it. NBD.

I guess two o'clock is enough; I've been to lots of weddings, but never one at 2:00 a.m.

I wasn't sure about the RSVP options. I wanted to offer the RSVP card for those who would be more comfortable using it, but I also wanted the option to RSVP via phone or e-mail. I can definitely see how two phone numbers plus an e-mail plus an RSVP card would be needlessly complicated. Should we just do the RSVP card then? I worry about people losing it.

I don't think you need to worry about people losing it. They'll figure it out. You're going to wind up having to call like 30% of them anyway!

Not necessarily, out of 127 invitations sent we only had to call 2 for DD's wedding. OWK, sorry I didn't get the Dr. Who reference. 

OurWildKingdom

STARMOON44 said:

OurWildKingdom said:

STARMOON44 said:

I think all the RSVP instructions are complicated and a bit much. If you are including a reply card, skip all of it. People can mail it back to you to the address you have printed on it, if a postcard, or on the enclosed envelope for it if not. Or, flip it around and just say to one email address or one phone number if you don't want to do reply cards. People don't need all the options. 

I dislike the "together through space and time" line. To me, it makes no sense and it also has nothing to do with the purpose of the invitation- supplying the who what when where details. 

I would just use your full names, and skip the Ms.  And just say at 2 o'clock- the "in the afternoon" is unnecessary and traditionally omitted. 

"Together through space and time" is a "Doctor Who" reference, but we can cut it. NBD.

I guess two o'clock is enough; I've been to lots of weddings, but never one at 2:00 a.m.

I wasn't sure about the RSVP options. I wanted to offer the RSVP card for those who would be more comfortable using it, but I also wanted the option to RSVP via phone or e-mail. I can definitely see how two phone numbers plus an e-mail plus an RSVP card would be needlessly complicated. Should we just do the RSVP card then? I worry about people losing it.

I don't think you need to worry about people losing it. They'll figure it out. You're going to wind up having to call like 30% of them anyway!

That is true. If we just did instructions on the back of the card, people might not check there. RSVP card it is.

OurWildKingdom

OK, take two:

Invitation:

The pleasure of your company is requested
at the marriage of
R A M
and
M K D
Saturday, the fifteenth of October, two thousand and sixteen
Two o’clock
L Park, B Avenue and L Avenue,
L, Ohio
Reception to follow in the K Pavilion

RSVP card:

R A M and M K D
October 15, 2016
Number attending: ________
Names of all attending: ______________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________

Please mail to _____________, Cleveland, OH ZIP before October 1, 2016.


I realized that I forgot to put a date on the RSVP card.

STARMOON44

Are you not doing stamped addressed return envelopes for the reply cards? I don't think it is wise to have people find their own stamps and envelopes if you want replies. 

OurWildKingdom

STARMOON44 said:

Are you not doing stamped addressed return envelopes for the reply cards? I don't think it is wise to have people find their own stamps and envelopes if you want replies. 

Good point. I'll just have to make the reply card and envelope a bit smaller. The invitation is 5 1/2" by 8 1/2" and the envelope will be 6" by 9". I was thinking about a 5" by 7" reply card (there are envelopes that size).

STARMOON44

5 by 7?!? These are usually tiny little things. 

OurWildKingdom

STARMOON44 said:

5 by 7?!? These are usually tiny little things. 

What size then? Would 4 1/4" by 5 1/2" be too big? 

ETA: I just did a search and turned up 3 1/2" by 5". I don't remember getting any RSVP cards that small, but if that's the standard, that's what I'll do. I did find envelopes that will fit on Amazon. Or would making the RSVP card a postcard be OK?

MobKaz

OurWildKingdom said:

OK, take two:

Invitation:

The pleasure of your company is requested
at the marriage of
R A M
and
M K D
Saturday, the fifteenth of October, two thousand and sixteen
Two o’clock
L Park, B Avenue and L Avenue,
L, Ohio
Reception to follow in the K Pavilion

RSVP card:

R A M and M K D
October 15, 2016
Number attending: ________
Names of all attending: ______________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________

Please mail to _____________, Cleveland, OH ZIP before October 1, 2016.


I realized that I forgot to put a date on the RSVP card.

Total nitpick here.  Just as the time of day is assumed to be PM, the year of the wedding is typically omitted.  Some argue to leave it in when retaining the invitation as a keepsake.  If you do choose to leave in the year, nitpick #2 is deleting the word "and".  The year is two thousand sixteen.

ernursej

I don't think there is anything wrong with having the Doctor Who reference.

Usually, RSVP cards are 3.5x5. I would do a RSVP in an envelope.

spockforprez

I like the Doctor Who reference I assumed it would be up at the top, maybe in a different font, or part of the design, right? I like it! 

OurWildKingdom

@MobKaz, I took out the "and" but left the year. I also made the reply card 3 1/2" x 5". That will actually save us money because we can print three to a sheet instead of two. I found envelopes that are just the right size for both the invitation and the reply card on Amazon.

I also moved the "Together through space and time" to the front of the card and included a little Doctor Who-related graphic.

missfrodo

Late to the party, but I just wanted to say I got the Doctor Who reference and I think it's great you're incorporating that into your wedding.  I didn't discover Doctor Who until I was already married, but you can bet if I'd seen it ahead of time I'd be wearing a tiny Tardis somewhere for my "something blue."  Are you incorporating any other touches of Who in your wedding?

OurWildKingdom

missfrodo said:

Late to the party, but I just wanted to say I got the Doctor Who reference and I think it's great you're incorporating that into your wedding.  I didn't discover Doctor Who until I was already married, but you can bet if I'd seen it ahead of time I'd be wearing a tiny Tardis somewhere for my "something blue."  Are you incorporating any other touches of Who in your wedding?

We're both wearing Chuck Taylors in homage to the Tenth Doctor, and if I can find artificial celery, I'm going to include it in FW's bouquet. I'm also going to sew a simple pouch for the rings out of TARDIS-patterned fabric.

MairePoppy

I don't understand why your initials and wedding date are on the rsvp. Are they part of design?  This is a standard rsvp:
              

Guests might look quickly at your rsvp and think Oct. 15 is the response date.
If you're providing envelopes for the rsvps, you could put the address right on the envelopes or on the back if you're making postcards.

I love the rework on your design with the Dr. Who reference on the outside of the card.

ETA - https://www.amazon.com/Doctor-Who-Fifth-Doctors-Celery/dp/B018W5D5S8/ref=sr_1_7?s=apparel&ie=UTF8&qid=1467687918&sr=1-7&nodeID=7141123011&keywords=celery

OurWildKingdom

MairePoppy said:

I don't understand why your initials and wedding date are on the rsvp. Are they part of design?  This is a standard rsvp:
              

Guests might look quickly at your rsvp and think Oct. 15 is the response date.
If you're providing envelopes for the rsvps, you could put the address right on the envelopes or on the back if you're making postcards.

I love the rework on your design with the Dr. Who reference on the outside of the card.

Good point! The RSVP date is on the bottom of the card right now. I'll fix it.

MairePoppy

Make your own artificial celery
http://www.craftsy.com/pattern/sewing/other/felt-celery-pin/89582

OurWildKingdom

How's this?

OurWildKingdom

MairePoppy said:

Make your own artificial celery
http://www.craftsy.com/pattern/sewing/other/felt-celery-pin/89582

That is so cute, @MairePoppy!

LtPowers

MairePoppy said:

I don't understand why your initials and wedding date are on the rsvp.

The traditional invitation response form includes the date (as well as the names of the hosts):

Ms. Sydney Wyly-Hart
Mr. Dylan Hart
accept with pleasure
(or regret exceedingly that they are unable to accept)
the kind invitation of
Mr. and Mrs. Clarence Coyne
for Saturday, the first of April

(reference)

Jen4948

While the Doctor Who reference is cute and romantic, the invitation is not the place for "cute," "unique," "funny," "original," "romantic" or "thematic" wording. (The expectation that the occasion will be joyful and romantic is built into the standard wording.) Bear in mind that the persons honored by wedding invitations are the guests, not the hosts or principals. 

Invitation wording needs to be limited to conveying the identities of the hosts and principals and the logistical information about the wedding. That's because guests have been known to get confused when nonstandard wording is used. And while it's true that "Together through space and time" is not likely to confuse anyone, being overly romantic with invitation wording can make it read like verbal PDA, which can induce the same reactions in people who receive them as making out heavily in their presence.

There are lots of great ways to incorporate the Doctor Who theme into your wedding - just don't use the invitation for that.

SaintPaulGal

Jen4948 said:

While the Doctor Who reference is cute and romantic, the invitation is not the place for "cute," "unique," "funny," "original," "romantic" or "thematic" wording. (The expectation that the occasion will be joyful and romantic is built into the standard wording.) Bear in mind that the persons honored by wedding invitations are the guests, not the hosts or principals. 

Invitation wording needs to be limited to conveying the identities of the hosts and principals and the logistical information about the wedding. That's because guests have been known to get confused when nonstandard wording is used. And while it's true that "Together through space and time" is not likely to confuse anyone, being overly romantic with invitation wording can make it read like verbal PDA, which can induce the same reactions in people who receive them as making out heavily in their presence.

There are lots of great ways to incorporate the Doctor Who theme into your wedding - just don't use the invitation for that.

I have to strongly disagree.  Weddings are romantic affairs.  They SHOULD be romantic affairs.  If someone is offended at the slightest hint of romantic feelings between a couple on the most romantically meaningful day of their lives, then I would say that person should avoid anything related to weddings entirely.  And if the wedding couple can't muster up a bit more sentiment and enthusiasm for their WEDDING than they would have for, say, a commercial vendor fair, then I would personally question whether they should be getting married.

It's true that your invitation is not the place for a 5 paragraph essay about why you two love each other.  But there is absolutely a difference between a metric ton of treacle and one sweet, thematic line related to your connection.  Please do not let anyone tell you that you need to sanitize the love out of your union.

Jen4948

SaintPaulGal said:

Jen4948 said:

While the Doctor Who reference is cute and romantic, the invitation is not the place for "cute," "unique," "funny," "original," "romantic" or "thematic" wording. (The expectation that the occasion will be joyful and romantic is built into the standard wording.) Bear in mind that the persons honored by wedding invitations are the guests, not the hosts or principals. 

Invitation wording needs to be limited to conveying the identities of the hosts and principals and the logistical information about the wedding. That's because guests have been known to get confused when nonstandard wording is used. And while it's true that "Together through space and time" is not likely to confuse anyone, being overly romantic with invitation wording can make it read like verbal PDA, which can induce the same reactions in people who receive them as making out heavily in their presence.

There are lots of great ways to incorporate the Doctor Who theme into your wedding - just don't use the invitation for that.

I have to strongly disagree.  Weddings are romantic affairs.  They SHOULD be romantic affairs.  If someone is offended at the slightest hint of romantic feelings between a couple on the most romantically meaningful day of their lives, then I would say that person should avoid anything related to weddings entirely.  And if the wedding couple can't muster up a bit more sentiment and enthusiasm for their WEDDING than they would have for, say, a commercial vendor fair, then I would personally question whether they should be getting married.

It's true that your invitation is not the place for a 5 paragraph essay about why you two love each other.  But there is absolutely a difference between a metric ton of treacle and one sweet, thematic line related to your connection.  Please do not let anyone tell you that you need to sanitize the love out of your union.

Sorry, but I have to strongly disagree.  

Not including romantic text in a wedding invitation does NOT mean that the wedding is NOT romantic. There are zillions of opportunities for the couple to indicate at their wedding just how romantic it is. For what it's worth, the traditional wording has the assumption built into it that the wedding will be romantic and joyful.

The couple can also use cardstock, fonts, colors, etc. to convey just how romantic their wedding is with the invitation. It doesn't have to be engraved in black ink and Spenser fonts on white cardstock.

But the invitation wording is simply NOT the place for being romantic or using "original," "unique," "cute," "clever," "funny," wording etc. for the reasons I mentioned above.  My post stands in its entirety.

SaintPaulGal

Jen4948 said:

SaintPaulGal said:

Jen4948 said:

While the Doctor Who reference is cute and romantic, the invitation is not the place for "cute," "unique," "funny," "original," "romantic" or "thematic" wording. (The expectation that the occasion will be joyful and romantic is built into the standard wording.) Bear in mind that the persons honored by wedding invitations are the guests, not the hosts or principals. 

Invitation wording needs to be limited to conveying the identities of the hosts and principals and the logistical information about the wedding. That's because guests have been known to get confused when nonstandard wording is used. And while it's true that "Together through space and time" is not likely to confuse anyone, being overly romantic with invitation wording can make it read like verbal PDA, which can induce the same reactions in people who receive them as making out heavily in their presence.

There are lots of great ways to incorporate the Doctor Who theme into your wedding - just don't use the invitation for that.

I have to strongly disagree.  Weddings are romantic affairs.  They SHOULD be romantic affairs.  If someone is offended at the slightest hint of romantic feelings between a couple on the most romantically meaningful day of their lives, then I would say that person should avoid anything related to weddings entirely.  And if the wedding couple can't muster up a bit more sentiment and enthusiasm for their WEDDING than they would have for, say, a commercial vendor fair, then I would personally question whether they should be getting married.

It's true that your invitation is not the place for a 5 paragraph essay about why you two love each other.  But there is absolutely a difference between a metric ton of treacle and one sweet, thematic line related to your connection.  Please do not let anyone tell you that you need to sanitize the love out of your union.

Sorry, but I have to strongly disagree.  

Not including romantic text in a wedding invitation does NOT mean that the wedding is NOT romantic. There are zillions of opportunities for the couple to indicate at their wedding just how romantic it is. For what it's worth, the traditional wording has the assumption built into it that the wedding will be romantic and joyful.

The couple can also use cardstock, fonts, colors, etc. to convey just how romantic their wedding is with the invitation. It doesn't have to be engraved in black ink and Spenser fonts on white cardstock.

But the invitation wording is simply NOT the place for being romantic or using "original," "unique," "cute," "clever," "funny," wording etc. for the reasons I mentioned above.  My post stands in its entirety.

@Jen4948, I completely respect your right to feel as you do.  I remember having seen other posts by you with similar reactions to romantic wedding elements, and I have no illusions that I am going to change your mind on the subject.  I just happen to feel differently.  A wedding with guests, to me, is a big, public celebration of love.  If you (general "you," not you-you) don't want to take part in a big, public celebration of love then you should probably avoid anything to do with weddings.  

And because I can't resist a good snark: you want me to use cardstock to indicate the romantic love I have for the partner with whom I plan to spend the rest of my life?  "Oh Margaret, did you see the cardstock of the invitation to Claudia and Jerome's wedding?!  I am moved by the depth of their feelings for one another.  With cardstock like that, truly this must be a love story for the ages."

charlotte989875

Jen4948 said:

While the Doctor Who reference is cute and romantic, the invitation is not the place for "cute," "unique," "funny," "original," "romantic" or "thematic" wording. (The expectation that the occasion will be joyful and romantic is built into the standard wording.) Bear in mind that the persons honored by wedding invitations are the guests, not the hosts or principals. 

Invitation wording needs to be limited to conveying the identities of the hosts and principals and the logistical information about the wedding. That's because guests have been known to get confused when nonstandard wording is used. And while it's true that "Together through space and time" is not likely to confuse anyone, being overly romantic with invitation wording can make it read like verbal PDA, which can induce the same reactions in people who receive them as making out heavily in their presence.

There are lots of great ways to incorporate the Doctor Who theme into your wedding - just don't use the invitation for that.

Yah I disagree with this as well. No one was confused because I had Art Deco font and Buffaloes on my STDs and invitations or because they were based off of and designed like a 1910s stamp. An extra line of text is not going to affect your guests or confuse them as long as all the important (who, what, where, when) information is clear.