Wedding Party

Bridal Party Dance

I need some help. My fiancé is determined to have a slow bridal party dance. He can't dance so he doesn't want a fast song but none of my girls have a matching spouse on the guys said. So the bridal party are all strangers but two people on both sides are married to people that aren't standing. Essentially, this is going to be awkward and despite my attempts, I can't persuade my groom thange his mind.  With that, would ya'll have any ideas for songs that aren't romantic (or creepy) that we could use? I'm trying to make this as painless as possible. 

Thanks!!
«1

Re: Bridal Party Dance

  • What does your wedding party say about this? If they are expressing reservations about this at all you need to find a way to say no to your FI and forgo the bridal party dance. 
    Knottie1452098987PrettyGirlLost
  • OurWildKingdomOurWildKingdom in the 216 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    I was a bridesmaid three times. The first time I was stuck dancing with the groom's brother who was rude to me in high school. The second time was with some random friend of the groom's who was already tipsy. The third was with my cousin's husband; he's nice enough but I would have preferred being able to dance with my then-BF. 

    Please don't do that to your WP.
    cowgirl8238InLoveInQueensOliveOilsMomPrettyGirlLost
  • I really appreciate your thoughts, however, they don't really help. This is a wedding that includes both my fiancé and I, so for the few things he does request, I try to acquiesce to his request. Plus, dancing with someone who isn't your other half won't kill, infect or otherwise harm anyone. The dance will stay. 

    Would anyone have any suggestions for songs or songs they have used themselves?
  • I just stood up in my SIL's wedding. I'm close to her and while I really love her husband I don't know him or his friends all that well. I met all of his WP that day and included his dad and his sister. Sure it wouldn't have killed me to dance with one of them, I would much rather have danced with my H who I hadn't seen all day. Why do you want to make strangers dance together? I promise you your pictures will look better if people are dancing with their choice of partners. 
    OurWildKingdomPrettyGirlLost
  • I'm glad you want to include your FI in planning the wedding and take into account what he wants, but this is not the way to do it. Wedding party dances are often awkward for wedding party members, and most of your guests probably do not want to sit through one either. I'm sorry if this isn't the advice you're looking for, but we are trying to help you avoid having an uncomfortable wedding party and uncomfortable guests. 

    If your FI doesn't like dancing, why does he even want to do this? Aren't there other ways you can incorporate some of his ideas into the day?
    image
    OurWildKingdomGreenjinjo STARMOON44PrettyGirlLost
  • I vote no unless they're already together!

    H's best man and one of my bridesmaids ended up catching garter/bouquet and they made a decision to dance together, but that was their choice. Instead of making it awkward, the DJ played a pretty platonic song - H danced with my mum and I danced with my Step-FIL to make it less weird ;) {although - my Step-FIL is 6'8" and I am 5'2" ish ....}


    If he wants a group dance, why don't you find something fun like the locomotion - we did that and it ended up being hilarious.
  • Here's one for thought...are your sides even? (I'm guessing you each picked the same number of people, hopefully for good reason), what do you do if someone gets the flu and can't make the wedding, have one person slow dance alone?  Are you going to have a backup dancer of each gender waiting in the wings? 

    Ugh I hate this idea all around...I understand that you want to give FI a few things to plan, but if the comfort of anyone is in question, you shouldn't be doing it period!  If he is insistent on having this fluff, let the WP dance with their SO/Dates, or just invite everyone who wants to join "the happy couple" join. 

  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I don't understand why this is so important to your FI. Why force strangers to have to slow dance with each other?? It's a terrible idea. No one enjoys it. Totally agree with the above poster re: stupid little details. This is one of those things. 

    Knottie1452098987InLoveInQueensLabLove86PrettyGirlLost
  • peachy13peachy13 in my cubicle, doing very important work member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Not only is the slow wedding party dance uncomfortable for the wedding party, it would be uncomfortable to watch as a guest. I've witnessed fast wedding party dances and those are awkward and forced, so I can't imagine the cringe-worthyness of making people slow dance with others.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers


    Knottie1452098987PrettyGirlLost
  • OK, at a recent wedding all the bridal party did some sort of line dance. I didn't know the song or dance, so I was bored, but at least then each person dances alone and it's sort of meant to be hokey in the first place. Maybe you fiance can do the cha cha slide?

    Knottie1452098987InLoveInQueens
  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I also think this is a terribly awkward idea.  Please don't subject your loved ones to this.
  • auriannaaurianna member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited July 2016
    So sorry if I'm way off base here, but something about the way you kept saying "married" over and over again in your OP made me wonder.

    You are inviting all couples together, regardless of marital status and time together, correct (married, engaged, living together, dating for a year, dating for a week, etc)?
    And as a bonus and a thank you for spending so much time, money and effort on your wedding, you're even letting your bridal party members who are single bring a guest, right?

    Assuming you are, and assuming this slow bridal party dance has to happen, can't you let the bridal party members dance with their dates (who they will also be sitting with at the reception)? And make it optional. Those who are single / just want to sit out can.

    I also like the line dance idea (or square dance, which would involve pairing up but be less awkward and less talent-required for your FI).

    OurWildKingdomViczaesarMairePoppyPrettyGirlLost
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I really appreciate your thoughts, however, they don't really help. This is a wedding that includes both my fiancé and I, so for the few things he does request, I try to acquiesce to his request. Plus, dancing with someone who isn't your other half won't kill, infect or otherwise harm anyone. The dance will stay. 

    Would anyone have any suggestions for songs or songs they have used themselves?
    Sorry, but you're asking other people to "acquiesce to his request," and they have every right not to be willing to dance with partners not of their own choice. Dancing at a wedding should be up to the guests.

    So I think you need to tell your FI, "I'm sorry, but requiring the bridal party to do a performance dance isn't going to fly." Sometimes when you (generic) really want something that involves other people without taking their needs and feelings into consideration, no matter how much you want it, you need to give it up.
    OurWildKingdomViczaesarInLoveInQueens
  • I need some help. My fiancé is determined to have a slow bridal party dance. He can't dance so he doesn't want a fast song but none of my girls have a matching spouse on the guys said. So the bridal party are all strangers but two people on both sides are married to people that aren't standing. Essentially, this is going to be awkward and despite my attempts, I can't persuade my groom thange his mind.  With that, would ya'll have any ideas for songs that aren't romantic (or creepy) that we could use? I'm trying to make this as painless as possible. 

    Thanks!!
    This is going to be painfully awkward and boring for your guests and your WP. 

    Want to make this as painless as possible? Just don't do it.
    madamerwinOliveOilsMom
  • I'm the odd one out here because I have never seen or heard of a bridal party dance...I haven't been to tons of weddings, but this sounds weird and is a foreign concept to me.

    Like @Jen4948 said, dancing at a wedding should be optional. I love dancing and it's my favorite part of weddings, but looking at my wedding party, my sister danced all night, two of my BMs danced a little bit, and my other BM did not dance at all because she hates it. She is one of my best friends, I know she doesn't like the spotlight on her, and I would've felt bad asking her to dance (especially slow dance) with someone she had likely just met the night before at the rehearsal.

    If you and your FI insist on it, I like the idea of having the WP dance and just letting them dance with their spouses/dates, or just inviting everyone to the dance floor after your spotlight dances. That's what we did, and we had a full dance floor for most of our reception.
  • I don't dance. Period. Not with you, not with my husband and definitely not with some random schmo.

    If I were your BM, I would literally decline to be in your wedding because of this. SO UNCOMFORTABLE.

    Lol.   This reminds me of a story my mom told when she and my dad were getting married:

    Her dad: I hope you don't play any father / daughter dance songs because I'm not dancing.

    My dad: And I'm not dancing with you either!
    ShesSoColdshort+sassy
  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    I really appreciate your thoughts, however, they don't really help. This is a wedding that includes both my fiancé and I, so for the few things he does request, I try to acquiesce to his request. Plus, dancing with someone who isn't your other half won't kill, infect or otherwise harm anyone. The dance will stay. 

    Would anyone have any suggestions for songs or songs they have used themselves?
    Ok so.
    Something interesting happens as you get older and/or more mature and serious about a relationship-- dancing with strangers gets uncomfortable. This isn't high school or college. I love my husband, I married him, and though I dated a lot before we met, now even linking arms with some dude to process down an aisle or walk out during reception introductions feels a little weird. I have no issues with that walking element, but having to dance with some rando who's not my husband is going to feel even weirder. 

    Also, slow dances are by and large romantic. Artists don't really do slow songs about longtime friendship. The only song that popped into my head is from Saved by The Bell- "Friends Forever"- and that's not even that slow. 

    If you're going to acquiesce to your FI's demand to have a bridal party slow song, at least let each bridal party member dance with their own date, not each other. 

    Honestly, as you attend more weddings at get older, you realize what stuff is senseless and stupid and bridal party dances are one of them. Don't be the couple that other couples talk about in the future--- "Ugh, skip the bridal party dance- we did that at Knottie#'s wedding and it sucked."
    And what about people without a date?  Not everybody is paired up.  My objection to this is just as much about forcing the wedding party to be in the spotlight and dance with someone they didn't choose as it is about forcing them to dance with someone other than their SO.



  • I'm the odd one out here because I have never seen or heard of a bridal party dance...I haven't been to tons of weddings, but this sounds weird and is a foreign concept to me.

    Luckily less than 20% of the weddings I've been to have had these. Because I think they are dumb. And I think that 80% of the people who have to do them also think they are dumb.
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards