Cash Bar/BYOB

drunkenwitch

lyndausvi said:

MaggieF1990 said:

aurianna said:

MuppetOverlord said:

Good point. The BYOB wedding I went to this weekend was also a potluck wedding. No one was really managing the food and it was in the 90s that day. As a guest, I actively considered that I had no idea how the food was transported and maintained through the day. It was impossible to have enough fridge space to accommodate it all and there was an awful lot of spoilable items. I only ate things that were freshly cooked or unable to make me sick. 

I have never been invited to a pot luck wedding. For the longest time I never even knew they existed.
And you've gone to at least two now? How'd you "luck out" with that?

Same here! I see it mentioned on these boards and confuses the hell out of me. Is your dish supposed to feed all the guests? I love cooking, and I love a good pot luck dinner, but for a wedding reception? No.

I've never been invited to a potluck wedding either.    I wouldn't attend if I had.  

DH is a chef by profession, if he is going to be cooking for a large group of people, he wants to be paid.   In addition to that, if he is going to be taking a rare night off, the last thing he wants to do is cook.  Might as well just work and get paid.

You do not have to cook for all the guests, but it's expected you cook a large batch of something so it can be shared.

Sigh. I have.

MesmrEwe

1) OP - your ingredient cost is going to be excessively high to provide food for 250 guests, as it would for any number of guests over 30 compared to hiring a caterer to do their budget meal option (All caterers offer a budget friendly meal)..  Not to mention the prep time involved. 

2) Looking at 1 in and of itself you need a "Come to Jesus"...  It's your wedding day, your job is to be the hostess not the line worker for the caterer!  You're there to entertain your 250 guests along with your FI. 

3) Your ideas for DIY on all this stuff are "Penny wise and pound foolish!"...  You can hire a florist to do 100% of what you need for a reasonable budget that you're comfortable spending or you can have your flowers delivered in from Sam's/Costco/BJ's/FTD in their "Bridal Box" for less than the cost of DIY.  Or, better yet, meet with a florist and say "I have $$$ to spend on flowers, I need a bridal bouquet, 4 bout's, 3BM bouquets, an arrangement for the service area, what can I get for the money" and be flexible - chances are, they can work with you!  You DO NOT have time to DIY flowers and food.  Cooking for 250 takes a catering staff of at least 5 to pull off.  You don't have five people.  Ingredients and time - you cannot afford either the week of your wedding!

4) Right now, all you can afford is a "Cake & Punch" reception.  It has nothing to do with "cash bar" or "BYOB" - it's about if you're going to invite 250 people, host them properly! 

englishrose-2

OP - have you sent invitations out? If not, you have to cut back on the numbers. I sympathise that you have suffered tragedy and have a limited budget, but if you are on a limited budget, 250 is a huge number of guests. We all know the pain of deciding guest lists and very difficult decisions have to be made. We all have had to make them. If you're struggling for budget that much I think you need to invite significantly fewer people.

if the invitations have gone out, then obviously nothing you can do about numbers. Could you just serve the house wine/beer or whatever's the most cost effective drink your venue has?

I'm from the other side of the world where things are a bit different, but the response is pretty unanimous that in your neck of the woods a cash bar is rude, even if it's a toonie one. Maybe some of your guests have said they don't mind, and some might even mean it. But it's very likely some of the 250 will find it rude. You need to take that very seriously. Ultimately it's up to you, but I think you need to step back and reassess what you can afford. Good luck!