Registering and Gifts

Biological father gift and step father gift

AschiveAschive
Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
member
edited August 2016 in Registering and Gifts
So I have been calling my step dad "dad" for 13 years and didn't see my biological father after the "adoption" more than 5 times. We (bio dad and I) now are getting coffee together about once every 2-3 months for the past three years. He hasn't offered help in anyway and I am wondering do I get him a gift for just being there? I got my step dad  a key chain that says, "thanks for walking by me on my wedding day and raising me as your own." Since he is walking me down the aisle.

It feels like the thought isn't there and it kind of confuses me of what to do and who should get gifts. Especially because my bio dad's hasn't asked about what days we are setting up and what he can do to help with planning. I obviously need to talk to him and see what his ideas are about the time before the wedding, but still the gift thing is really confusing me.

Re: Biological father gift and step father gift

  • The gift shouldn't be about how he's helped with the wedding; that isn't something that he's required to do. If you want to give a gift, it should be a reflection of your relationship with him as your gift to your stepdad is. It could be just a simple heartfelt note or token. Just give your gifts to each of your parents in a private moment so no comparisons can be made.
    OurWildKingdomCMGragain
  • geebee908 said:
    The gift shouldn't be about how he's helped with the wedding; that isn't something that he's required to do. If you want to give a gift, it should be a reflection of your relationship with him as your gift to your stepdad is. It could be just a simple heartfelt note or token. Just give your gifts to each of your parents in a private moment so no comparisons can be made.
    Thanks, I am not sure when I will get a moment alone with each of them. I know he isn't obligated to help I just figured since it is his daughters wedding he would want to be and I wasn't sure if parents gifts were a all or none thing. I honestly wasn't even sure he was going to come for about 6 months.
  • The best gift my daughter gave me after her wedding was a big hug, and saying "Thanks, Mom!  It was perfect!"  OK, so she gave me a box of See's chocolate, too.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    Aschive
  • You don't need to give him a gift. 
    SP29CMGragain
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    member
    The gift shouldn't be about how much and whether he helps with the wedding. It's about your relationship with him.

    Do you acknowledge father's day to your bio day? Think along the same "level" of gift.
    OurWildKingdom
  • Thanks everyone, I think I will do a private gift giving with my "parents" and then do thank you notes and a goodie bag of chocolate at each spot at the rehearsal and leave it at that for my bio dad. Would it be ok to still do wedding party gifts at the rehearsal then?
    OurWildKingdom
  • OurWildKingdomOurWildKingdom in the 216
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    member
    Aschive said:
    Thanks everyone, I think I will do a private gift giving with my "parents" and then do thank you notes and a goodie bag of chocolate at each spot at the rehearsal and leave it at that for my bio dad. Would it be ok to still do wedding party gifts at the rehearsal then?
    No, you should give your wedding party gifts privately as well.
  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic Indiana
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    member
    Aschive said:
    Thanks everyone, I think I will do a private gift giving with my "parents" and then do thank you notes and a goodie bag of chocolate at each spot at the rehearsal and leave it at that for my bio dad. Would it be ok to still do wedding party gifts at the rehearsal then?
    No, you should give your wedding party gifts privately as well.
    I think it is often done at the rehearsal dinner (giving bridal party gifts). Parent gifts should be given privately.
  • OurWildKingdomOurWildKingdom in the 216
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    member
    edited August 2016
    Aschive said:
    Thanks everyone, I think I will do a private gift giving with my "parents" and then do thank you notes and a goodie bag of chocolate at each spot at the rehearsal and leave it at that for my bio dad. Would it be ok to still do wedding party gifts at the rehearsal then?
    No, you should give your wedding party gifts privately as well.
    I think it is often done at the rehearsal dinner (giving bridal party gifts). Parent gifts should be given privately.
    Ok, I guess I read wrong. Thanks for correcting me, @ILoveBeachMusic:)

    Ignore my previous post, @Aschive. ;)
    Aschive
  • SP29SP29
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    member
    You can do it at the RD, as technically you would be giving a gift to each WP member.

    Personally, I would do it privately. We gave ours privately as it felt odd to give gifts to the WP but not our parents/grandparents/ officiant/ couple OOT guests at the same time. There is also no comparison between people (my mom would be the type to ask everyone to show what they got).
    OurWildKingdom
  • SP29 said:

    Personally, I would do it privately. We gave ours privately as it felt odd to give gifts to the WP but not our parents/grandparents/ officiant/ couple OOT guests at the same time. There is also no comparison between people (my mom would be the type to ask everyone to show what they got).
    I think this is a good point, but is there a difference between "comparing" between each other and the rest of the group? I don't think my bridal party will compare their gifts but will the other people? And I can't think of a single time that I will have one on one time with them. Also, I think the groomsmen will be getting the same gift while my bridal party are all getting different gifts should this be a concern. I honestly don't think anyone will be offended by any of it, but at the same time... I don't really know what I am trying to say. haha
  • @CMGragain I don't know how I missed the cat! I love it!
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards