Have we done a "I don't get" thread recently?

monkeysip

I'll start....


People who like their own Facebook posts.  

Like... what?  Why?

STARMOON44

People who run outside when it's 100 degrees. I think it's a sign of mental illness. 

WinstonsGirl

Why my SIL always complains that having 3 kids is so much work and no one ever helps out, but when we offer to take the 2 oldest for an entire day she can't get back to me to sort out details 

ernursej

Why people criticize my choice for not having children and tell me I should do some thinking (pretty sure I have) and I have to be the better person when they get pregnant and tell me that it was unexpected. ??Shouldn't you have thought about having children some more?? Grrr.

kimmiinthemitten

Miserable people (not clinically depressed but intentionally unhappy people)...seriously why choose to be unhappy all day?

drunkenwitch

Nostalgia. For any time period. Maybe it's because I'm a woman. I love suffrage, birth control, the right to own property, medical advancements, abolition, laws against sexual harassment, equal pay (or at least people becoming aware and making changes), the civil rights act, marriage equality,  the protection against being burned at the stake. You know, all those victories.  No way, at all, would I ever wish to live "in the past".  Ever. 

drunkenwitch

ernursej said:

Why people criticize my choice for not having children and tell me I should do some thinking (pretty sure I have) and I have to be the better person when they get pregnant and tell me that it was unexpected. ??Shouldn't you have thought about having children some more?? Grrr.

I don't know how old you are, but I can speak from experience. That magically stops at 40. It's awesome. No one questions my decision anymore. At all. 

ernursej

drunkenwitch said:

ernursej said:

Why people criticize my choice for not having children and tell me I should do some thinking (pretty sure I have) and I have to be the better person when they get pregnant and tell me that it was unexpected. ??Shouldn't you have thought about having children some more?? Grrr.

I don't know how old you are, but I can speak from experience. That magically stops at 40. It's awesome. No one questions my decision anymore. At all. 

I'm 31. These are the same people that I have told several times and they like to tell me that I'm making a mistake and who will look after me when I'm old. Pretty sure that having kids does not equal having someone to look after you when you are old. Bad reason to have kids.

I sure as hell hope that it magically stops when I turn 40. I often throw back a "why are you asking" and "my choice to have children is between my FI and me and we do not need help from others".

drunkenwitch

ernursej said:

drunkenwitch said:

ernursej said:

Why people criticize my choice for not having children and tell me I should do some thinking (pretty sure I have) and I have to be the better person when they get pregnant and tell me that it was unexpected. ??Shouldn't you have thought about having children some more?? Grrr.

I don't know how old you are, but I can speak from experience. That magically stops at 40. It's awesome. No one questions my decision anymore. At all. 

I'm 31. These are the same people that I have told several times and they like to tell me that I'm making a mistake and who will look after me when I'm old. Pretty sure that having kids does not equal having someone to look after you when you are old. Bad reason to have kids.

I sure as hell hope that it magically stops when I turn 40. I often throw back a "why are you asking" and "my choice to have children is between my FI and me and we do not need help from others".

Oh preach it. I heard all that and then some. My favorite was when people would ask me "well, what if YOUR parents felt that way?!" So I  would answer "then you would feel really silly standing here and arguing with yourself ".  I promise when I hit 40 it all stopped. Even my mom accepted it. 20 years of her saying to me "you'll change your mind" became "I'm so proud of you for knowing what you want and not having kids". In the words of Dan Savage, it gets better.

And for fuck's sake, how does my decision to not have kids impact anyone? How does that take away from anyone's life or their choices. And don't say "grandchildren" because having a kid you don't want because your parents want a grandchild sounds insanely unhealthy to me. And completely unfair to said child. 

ETA: slowly backing away from soapbox and pouring a drink.

[Deleted User]

I think I'm quite lucky that no one really questions my desire to remain childless. Even though I live in quite a conservative country. I think people might think that I will change my mind but they are sensible enough to keep those thoughts to themselves. 
I'm thinking about getting sterilised in a couple of years, that's going to be interesting. 

On the OP, I don't get weddings. I mean, I'm having one, I've had one before, and it the quiet pressure for your wedding to be a certain way had increased so much since my first one. It's insane. 

Jells2dot0

People have always questioned me not wanting kids, even though I've been adamant about it since high school. I thought that when I married my now H that it would stop, since he is quite a bit older, has two older children, and had a vasectomy. Nope. After having cancer, I thought for sure. Nope. I've now had a hysterectomy. Oh, but you can adopt! Seriously people???

ThirdWoman said:

. 

On the OP, I don't get weddings. I mean, I'm having one, I've had one before, and it the quiet pressure for your wedding to be a certain way had increased so much since my first one. It's insane. 

I had a traditional wedding the first time, a bit under duress from my parents. So, when I got remarried, I kept it a secret. I didn't want the stress, pressure, and attention. We did have a wedding since we did exchange vows and sign the papers, but it was nice to keep it between the two of us. I really don't get wanting the whole big thing, but I do realize that is normal and I'm part of the exception.

kahluakoala

I don't get when people don't get why others enjoy sports (double negative - I'm sorry!). Whenever there's the superbowl or world series and you hear a bunch of non-sports fans like "Ugh I don't understand the sports ball! I don't want to watch some douche bro running around with a ball". Like you don't understand community, athleticism, and exciting events?

kimmiinthemitten

KahluaKoala said:

I don't get when people don't get why others enjoy sports (double negative - I'm sorry!). Whenever there's the superbowl or world series and you hear a bunch of non-sports fans like "Ugh I don't understand the sports ball! I don't want to watch some douche bro running around with a ball". Like you don't understand community, athleticism, and exciting events?

Agreed, I don't understand LARPing or cross stitch but I'm not going to crash your park or make fun of you for carrying your stitching kits around.

lovesclimbing

Probably get flamed for this, but I don't get why beach volleyball is an Olympic sport. There's already regular volleyball. Why not add beach soccer or beach fencing or beach running to the olympics? Just take any other Olympic sport, stick it on the beach and call it a new Olympic sport. I don't get it. 

drunkenwitch

lovesclimbing said:

Probably get flamed for this, but I don't get why beach volleyball is an Olympic sport. There's already regular volleyball. Why not add beach soccer or beach fencing or beach running to the olympics? Just take any other Olympic sport, stick it on the beach and call it a new Olympic sport. I don't get it. 

Because sweaty almost nekkid hot people.

kvruns

lovesclimbing said:

Probably get flamed for this, but I don't get why beach volleyball is an Olympic sport. There's already regular volleyball. Why not add beach soccer or beach fencing or beach running to the olympics? Just take any other Olympic sport, stick it on the beach and call it a new Olympic sport. I don't get it. 

we saw beach soccer a couple weeks ago and it was pretty interesting, much more interesting than regular soccer IMO because there was lots of action.

I do find beach volley ball interesting because it is just 2 people out there with the whole court instead of 6 like indoor

kvruns

(this one would go well in an UO thread too)....
in honor of fall approaching and this stuff already being out in stores: I just don't get pumpkin everything. Pumpkin spice coffee, donuts, milk, ice cream, hair spray, laundry detergent (ok I might have made up the last two...or at least I hope I did)

Jells2dot0

kvruns said:

(this one would go well in an UO thread too)....
in honor of fall approaching and this stuff already being out in stores: I just don't get pumpkin everything. Pumpkin spice coffee, donuts, milk, ice cream, hair spray, laundry detergent (ok I might have made up the last two...or at least I hope I did)

This!

I also don't get why it's August 15 and the grocery store already put up their Halloween display and was selling candy. Of course, I also don't get why they had a million different types of mini chocolate bars and no candy corn!!!

bleve0821

kvruns said:

(this one would go well in an UO thread too)....
in honor of fall approaching and this stuff already being out in stores: I just don't get pumpkin everything. Pumpkin spice coffee, donuts, milk, ice cream, hair spray, laundry detergent (ok I might have made up the last two...or at least I hope I did)

I don't get why a love of pumpkin has to be limited to the fall.  I'm a huge pumpkin fan, but that's just because it tastes awesome.  I have never bought into the pumpkin spiced beverages, though (I have no need for the extra calories), but I do love baking with it year-round.

My "I don't get" for the day is why everyone thinks I should be using Facebook to make public announcements for major life events.  I'm not going to be sorry about the fact that I am a private person and don't wish to make the entire world aware of my comings and goings, life changes or decisions.  I'm also not sorry that when I DID notify the important people in my life, you, person I haven't spoken to since the day you married my husband's cousin's best friend, didn't make that list.

charlotte989875

lovesclimbing said:

Probably get flamed for this, but I don't get why beach volleyball is an Olympic sport. There's already regular volleyball. Why not add beach soccer or beach fencing or beach running to the olympics? Just take any other Olympic sport, stick it on the beach and call it a new Olympic sport. I don't get it. 

My H said the same thing. He was like "why are there two types of volleyball, pick one or the other". 

charlotte989875

I don't get vague-booking. Posting some cryptic status about how you're "just so upset" or "people are fake, you know who you are", or "heartbroken" then disappear or get pissed when people ask questions about the status. Like you posted it what did you think people would do?!

OurWildKingdom

charlotte989875 said:

I don't get vague-booking. Posting some cryptic status about how you're "just so upset" or "people are fake, you know who you are", or "heartbroken" then disappear or get pissed when people ask questions about the status. Like you posted it what did you think people would do?!

I can't stand those posts!

I don't get why the 65-pound dog is terrified of the 8-pound cat. Moose immediately goes into submissive mode whenever Sam is in the vicinity. He doesn't do that when the other two are around, not even for Oliver, the 15-year-old alpha cat.

kvruns

charlotte989875 said:

I don't get vague-booking. Posting some cryptic status about how you're "just so upset" or "people are fake, you know who you are", or "heartbroken" then disappear or get pissed when people ask questions about the status. Like you posted it what did you think people would do?!

I always figure they're not pissed people ask questions (even if they act like it), they're getting exactly what they want: attention. I had to explain it to my mid 80s great-aunt a year or two ago because she was concerned about some great niece of hers or something and these weird posts and I was like yea its vague-booking she basically just wants attention and sympathy and great aunt was like oh that makes a lot of sense

Jells2dot0

kvruns said:

charlotte989875 said:

I don't get vague-booking. Posting some cryptic status about how you're "just so upset" or "people are fake, you know who you are", or "heartbroken" then disappear or get pissed when people ask questions about the status. Like you posted it what did you think people would do?!

I always figure they're not pissed people ask questions (even if they act like it), they're getting exactly what they want: attention. I had to explain it to my mid 80s great-aunt a year or two ago because she was concerned about some great niece of hers or something and these weird posts and I was like yea its vague-booking she basically just wants attention and sympathy and great aunt was like oh that makes a lot of sense

THIS.

My SIL does this and I know it's her way of being a total AW. She wants the attention to feel better about herself (totally insecure) and all of her friends eat it up.

thisismynickname2

kvruns said:

(this one would go well in an UO thread too)....
in honor of fall approaching and this stuff already being out in stores: I just don't get pumpkin everything. Pumpkin spice coffee, donuts, milk, ice cream, hair spray, laundry detergent (ok I might have made up the last two...or at least I hope I did)

No joke, I was in Trader Joe's last fall and overheard a guy say to his SO, "You just want it because it's pumpkin." Hahaha.

On the kids topic, I hope I don't offend anyone when I say this but I don't get people who have multiple children and then complain about how tired/stressed/broke they are. You chose to have multiple children....???
I also don't get people who have two kids just so their first can have a sibling. I think siblings, most of the time (not all) aren't all they're cracked up to be. I know very few people who are as close to their siblings as parents imagine they'll be. My sister and I could barely get along for 24 hours until, like, our 30s.

CharmedPam

I don't get why USA and Canada can't combine to be one country?  There's no need for a border.  And then Southwest can fly to the former Canada area's and travel won't be so much.  

Also, I don't get why mid-grade hotels are so expensive. 

OurWildKingdom

thisismynickname said:

kvruns said:

(this one would go well in an UO thread too)....
in honor of fall approaching and this stuff already being out in stores: I just don't get pumpkin everything. Pumpkin spice coffee, donuts, milk, ice cream, hair spray, laundry detergent (ok I might have made up the last two...or at least I hope I did)

No joke, I was in Trader Joe's last fall and overheard a guy say to his SO, "You just want it because it's pumpkin." Hahaha.

On the kids topic, I hope I don't offend anyone when I say this but I don't get people who have multiple children and then complain about how tired/stressed/broke they are. You chose to have multiple children....???
I also don't get people who have two kids just so their first can have a sibling. I think siblings, most of the time (not all) aren't all they're cracked up to be. I know very few people who are as close to their siblings as parents imagine they'll be. My sister and I could barely get along for 24 hours until, like, our 30s.

Yep. My brother and I were thick as thieves till he got married. For years, I thought my SIL disliked me personally, but I finally figured out that 1) she comes from a very dysfunctional family and still doesn't know how to relate to a functional one 2) she's generally a very unhappy, negative person.

short+sassy

ernursej said:

drunkenwitch said:

ernursej said:

Why people criticize my choice for not having children and tell me I should do some thinking (pretty sure I have) and I have to be the better person when they get pregnant and tell me that it was unexpected. ??Shouldn't you have thought about having children some more?? Grrr.

I don't know how old you are, but I can speak from experience. That magically stops at 40. It's awesome. No one questions my decision anymore. At all. 

I'm 31. These are the same people that I have told several times and they like to tell me that I'm making a mistake and who will look after me when I'm old. Pretty sure that having kids does not equal having someone to look after you when you are old. Bad reason to have kids.

I sure as hell hope that it magically stops when I turn 40. I often throw back a "why are you asking" and "my choice to have children is between my FI and me and we do not need help from others".

I'm 42.  My BFF and her mom (15 years ago) on the subject of "I don't want children".  Them;  "Oh honey, you'll change your mind when you meet the right man!"

Apparently not, lol.  I met the right man shortly after that statement and am still happily "childless by choice" all these years later. 

CharmedPam

I'm nearing 40, so I hope the questions will stop then.  I don't get "you'll change your mind" as much as "you'll make a great mother though!"

No.  I make a great aunt and "aunt".  When I'm ready, I can hand them back and pour a glass of wine and sleep and watch bad TV shows and plan my next vacation. 

SP29

CharmedPam said:

I'm nearing 40, so I hope the questions will stop then.  I don't get "you'll change your mind" as much as "you'll make a great mother though!"

No.  I make a great aunt and "aunt".  When I'm ready, I can hand them back and pour a glass of wine and sleep and watch bad TV shows and plan my next vacation. 

Kim Cattrall was recently asked about not having kids and had a great response. Essentially her response was that there are many ways for a woman to be a mother (she was speaking about herself, but could apply to man or woman and "parent"), and she acts in this role in various ways. She is very close to her niece/nephew(s) and has mentored many young actors/actresses over the years. She can be a mother without having children, and she's happy with that.

I thought it was a great response and a great way to think/be.

lovesclimbing

thisismynickname said:

kvruns said:

(this one would go well in an UO thread too)....
in honor of fall approaching and this stuff already being out in stores: I just don't get pumpkin everything. Pumpkin spice coffee, donuts, milk, ice cream, hair spray, laundry detergent (ok I might have made up the last two...or at least I hope I did)

No joke, I was in Trader Joe's last fall and overheard a guy say to his SO, "You just want it because it's pumpkin." Hahaha.

On the kids topic, I hope I don't offend anyone when I say this but I don't get people who have multiple children and then complain about how tired/stressed/broke they are. You chose to have multiple children....???
I also don't get people who have two kids just so their first can have a sibling. I think siblings, most of the time (not all) aren't all they're cracked up to be. I know very few people who are as close to their siblings as parents imagine they'll be. My sister and I could barely get along for 24 hours until, like, our 30s.

And I don't get this. Are people not allowed to complain any more? Do (general) you ever complain about being tired or stressed after work? Well, you chose the job so you're not allowed to have a pity party! Do you ever complain about an expensive vet bill? Well, you chose to get a pet! Suck it up, buttercup! 

Children are tiring and stressful sometimes. People can love having and want multiple children and still have moments when they are exhausted and stressed and money is low. No one would ever have any children if they were never allowed to be tired stressed or have tight finances.