Potlucks Suck.

hellohkb

I saw this article on Jezebel and thought of all of you. If you want to read hilarious/sad whiny comments on their FB about how hating potlucks makes us all snobby and classist, click the second link. I sent it to my mon, the ultimate hater of potlucks. She thoroughly enjoyed it.

http://jezebel.com/potlucks-suck-1720699254?utm_campaign=socialflow_jezebel_facebook&utm_source=jezebel_facebook&utm_medium=socialflow


https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10153645679552434&id=34407447433&fs=1


No seriously I'm not fond of bringing shit to someone's house beyond a bottle of booze, maybe some snacks. 

themosthappy91

I sort of thought the consensus around here was potlucks are fine when they aren't taking the place of an event you're obligated to host like a wedding reception- is that not the case?

I like potlucks when they're just a fun excuse to get together- my group of girlfriends has been doing potluck dinner parties since we were in high school (...we may have been kind of odd high schoolers...). There are seven of us- the host (which rotates) cooks the entree and others fill in with a side or two, a salad, a dessert, an appetizer, and wine. Since we're still at the age where many of us are living in dorms, tiny apartments, or even with parents it's a nice way to get together without overwhelming one person. 

LabLove86

I think potlucks have their place - but that they are overused.


Weddings, birthday parties, grad parties, ect. Host fully hosts.

Backyard BBQ? Last minute get together? Book club? I'm totally fine bringing a dish to pass. Or bottle of wine. Or whatever.


BUT - don't expect me to BYOB or bring something to pass if you're inviting me and making it sound like its fully hosted.


ETF Words

STARMOON44

I hate them so much. I love to cook. I don't love bringing a random dish that won't go with anything else on the table to share with people who won't even appreciate it. 

I I think they're not rude or anything when done appropriately but I still hate them. To me they turn a lovely festive meal into a rando buffet.

ei34

I don't mind an organized potluck. Where the host/whoever's idea it was/person in charge (this could be one person or 2-3 people) lists what's needed.  Appetizers, entrees, sides, desserts, beverages...and everyone attending selects or is assigned something.  So that im not faced with a huge dessert table at dinner time. 
I also think a potluck is appropriate for a casual family gathering at someone's home, and it's definitely great in an office setting.  A big event like a wedding- gross.  DH's family always goes the potluck route, even at holidays, whereas my own family doesn't.  Even when I have people over, I just host them myself, although I've never had more than 30 guests.

hellohkb

Yep, potlucks definitely have their place, but I still think of you guys when I hear that "P" word. Like I said, I'm not fond of them... But that's because I dislike cooking, especially when I have to psych myself out thinking of something that everyone will like, that I can eat, that my friend with the food allergy can also eat, that my friend who eats gluten free/clean/whatever can also eat. 

So really I just prefer to bring booze and snacks.

hellohkb

STARMOON44 said:

I hate them so much. I love to cook. I don't love bringing a random dish that won't go with anything else on the table to share with people who won't even appreciate it. 

I I think they're not rude or anything when done appropriately but I still hate them. To me they turn a lovely festive meal into a rando buffet.

 This, especially the first part! Except I kinda hate cooking dinners (I love making myself different breakfasts and lunches, but H and I go out to dinner almost every night. He's just not fond of what I like to make) and feel so pressured to make something that just isn't appreciated by other people.

SP29

I'm not entirely against potlucks, but I thought the article was hilarious, and brings up valid points.

There is often a lot of variability in what people bring. Everyone has that one friend who is a culinary god/goddess and makes everyone else feel their dish is sub-par; the friend who can't cook and buys something (which is cool!), and sometimes you have that one person, who as the article says, brings a bag of Oreos and thinks that contributes to a meal.

I think any event where you are asking a guest to witness/celebrate/do something for you (wedding, birthday, baptism, graduation, etc) should always be hosted. A casual get together with friends is fine for a potluck. I have attended some pretty good potlucks with my friends; the best was a casserole party where everybody brought a different casserole. Pretty equal in terms of what everyone brought, and SOOOOO delicious. I also know my friends and their cleanliness habits.

Even with a casual party, if DH and I invite people over to our house, no matter how last minute, we are always prepared to host. It might not be anything over the top, but there will be enough food to eat. If someone asks if they can bring anything, I usually say, "You don't have to, as we are serving X,Y,Z, but if you want to bring anything else that is fine". Likewise, I often offer to bring something, but if the hosts say, "Don't worry about it", I don't.

Jen4948

I actually rather like potlucks in the right circumstances. Not for weddings or other events that should be fully hosted. But I don't mind them for casual get-togethers where there are no major repercussions if someone doesn't bring something.

lovesclimbing

I love potlucks. I've never been to a bad one. I've never been to one that hasn't had more than enough food, usually with people taking home extra. I've also never been to one where everyone brought the same thing or everyone brought stupid stuff. 

In my circle, you don't bring hostess gifts. When someone invites you over for dinner, you offer to bring something, and they typically say a salad or some sort of side or a dessert. So most meals end up being partially potluck. 

lyndausvi

lovesclimbing said:

I love potlucks. I've never been to a bad one. I've never been to one that hasn't had more than enough food, usually with people taking home extra. I've also never been to one where everyone brought the same thing or everyone brought stupid stuff. 

In my circle, you don't bring hostess gifts. When someone invites you over for dinner, you offer to bring something, and they typically say a salad or some sort of side or a dessert. So most meals end up being partially potluck. 

That is so foreign to me.  If I'm invited to someone's house I assume I'm being hosted. It doesn't occur to me to bring something that is to be consumed that night.  

 If I invite you to my house, I'm providing everything.  Even those with dietary restrictions. 

Now, I've had people offer, but I always decline.  Except for ice.  We never have enough ice - ha. 

lnixon8

H's family live on a large family compound with a family lodge, family gazebo, light house and pool. There are usually around 60 of us for holidays so its super organized and no one is stuck cooking 4 turkeys, 2 hams, sides/dessert for 60 etc.

That being said there is a ton of  "who's mashed potatoes are these? Are these Aunt Carol's brownies or Tricia's?" and over memorial day when we did taco bar an entire family's contribution was a package of shredded kraft cheddar cheese. For the most part it works but (as with most family things) people get annoyed and there are obvious kinks. I've never hosted one of my own.

climbingsingle

I was taught that if you are hosting an event, that means you are providing everything - all food, all drinks. You don't ask people to bring food. This is a huge pet peeve of mine. I've been invited to events before, and accepted, only to be asked, "So, what are you bringing?" 

I was also taught that you never show up to someone's house empty handed. So, if you invite me to an event, I will bring either something I know you like to drink, or a dessert from my job that I know you like (for example, my best friend loves our mango coconut cheesecake). 

The one exception to this is holidays with my relatives. Whomever is hosting (Thanksgiving, Xmas, etc.) provides everything, but the non-hosts will all bring either an appetizer or a dessert. 

DrillSergeantCat

I'm in the "what can I bring" camp when it comes to dinner/lunch invitations. That's just what my family has always done. However, I'm not offended if the host says nothing and I'm not offended if my guests don't ask.

I'm not a big pot luck fan when it's a group of people I don't know well, but if it's a group of my friends, I'm down.

SaintPaulGal

I have to agree with those saying it is classist and shitty to hate on potlucks.  

I have known a lot of college students/early career adults who would basically never have been able to socialize at all if not for potlucks.  (I am also acutely aware that for many people poverty isn't a period you age out of, but I don't personally know any older adults struggling in that way.)  I used to do potlucks with a dozen or more friends at a time when the vast majority of people in the group certainly couldn't have afforded to provide food and drink for all those people.  I would absolutely take a potluck over "fully hosted" ramen and powdered juice drink.

If you like to cook, a potluck gives you a reason to cook for a crowd.  If you don't like to cook, you can buy something premade and get access to others' home cooked foods without having to prepare it yourself.  

I would never condone a potluck wedding, but for casual gatherings of friends or at work/church/social clubs/etc. it's a great alternative to ordering from Jimmy Johns again.  

cowgirl8238

I am also in the potlucks have their place camp.  When there is a larger group or a real celebration going on I feel like the event should be fully hosted. (Weddings, Showers, Birthdays, the like).  But when it comes to smaller get togethers I don't mind them so much.

Generally if I am hosting something I will provide a sufficient amount of food, drink, and snacks for the time of day.  If someone asks what they can bring, I will tell them what is planned and then if they want anything else they are welcomed to bring it.  Typically my friends don't bring anything but on occasion they will surprise us with some amazing snacks. 

I am generally not a fan of potlucks with specifically assigned items to bring, but also don't like the whole "free-for-all" style either.  In general I think a host should provide the protiens/main meals and can divide apps, desserts, sides, and drinks evenly amongst the others.  I don't mind making a dessert but I don't want to be told to bring a cheesecake...I dunno why it makes such a difference to me but it does.

climbingsingle

SaintPaulGal said:

I have to agree with those saying it is classist and shitty to hate on potlucks.  

I have known a lot of college students/early career adults who would basically never have been able to socialize at all if not for potlucks.  (I am also acutely aware that for many people poverty isn't a period you age out of, but I don't personally know any older adults struggling in that way.)  I used to do potlucks with a dozen or more friends at a time when the vast majority of people in the group certainly couldn't have afforded to provide food and drink for all those people.  I would absolutely take a potluck over "fully hosted" ramen and powdered juice drink.

If you like to cook, a potluck gives you a reason to cook for a crowd.  If you don't like to cook, you can buy something premade and get access to others' home cooked foods without having to prepare it yourself.  

I would never condone a potluck wedding, but for casual gatherings of friends or at work/church/social clubs/etc. it's a great alternative to ordering from Jimmy Johns again.  

I don't get this. You really can't order a pizza and get a case of beer? It's not like social events have to be fine dining with different courses. Even if my poorest days, I was able to afford cheap hot dogs and hamburgers. 

lyndausvi

climbingwife said:

SaintPaulGal said:

I have to agree with those saying it is classist and shitty to hate on potlucks.  

I have known a lot of college students/early career adults who would basically never have been able to socialize at all if not for potlucks.  (I am also acutely aware that for many people poverty isn't a period you age out of, but I don't personally know any older adults struggling in that way.)  I used to do potlucks with a dozen or more friends at a time when the vast majority of people in the group certainly couldn't have afforded to provide food and drink for all those people.  I would absolutely take a potluck over "fully hosted" ramen and powdered juice drink.

If you like to cook, a potluck gives you a reason to cook for a crowd.  If you don't like to cook, you can buy something premade and get access to others' home cooked foods without having to prepare it yourself.  

I would never condone a potluck wedding, but for casual gatherings of friends or at work/church/social clubs/etc. it's a great alternative to ordering from Jimmy Johns again.  

I don't get this. You really can't order a pizza and get a case of beer? It's not like social events have to be fine dining with different courses. Even if my poorest days, I was able to afford cheap hot dogs and hamburgers. 

Exactly.

People always go to extremes.   A box of pasta costs a dollar and feeds 8+ people.   You can get a jar of sauce for a few bucks (if you have spices then you can doctor it up).   Couple loafs of bread for a dollar and boom, you have a cheap meal for a lot of people.    

Ground beef goes on sale pretty often.  If it's in your budget you can pick up a 3lb pack and make up some meatballs.      It might take planning, but it's not really that hard.



ETA - I do think they have their place.   I just never seem to be in those places though.   With the exception of holiday meals where one house is just the gathering place and everything is coordinated, my family and friend always host when inviting people to their homes.

short+sassy

cowgirl8238 said:

I am also in the potlucks have their place camp.  When there is a larger group or a real celebration going on I feel like the event should be fully hosted. (Weddings, Showers, Birthdays, the like).  But when it comes to smaller get togethers I don't mind them so much.

Generally if I am hosting something I will provide a sufficient amount of food, drink, and snacks for the time of day.  If someone asks what they can bring, I will tell them what is planned and then if they want anything else they are welcomed to bring it.  Typically my friends don't bring anything but on occasion they will surprise us with some amazing snacks. 

I am generally not a fan of potlucks with specifically assigned items to bring, but also don't like the whole "free-for-all" style either.  In general I think a host should provide the protiens/main meals and can divide apps, desserts, sides, and drinks evenly amongst the others.  I don't mind making a dessert but I don't want to be told to bring a cheesecake...I dunno why it makes such a difference to me but it does.

I was invited to a 4th of July party by my boss (in a previous job).  He and his wife had a great house for entertaining and often threw these kind of casual shindigs.  It was typical they would have the main dishes and drinks.  Guests would supplement apps and desserts. 

I sent his wife an e-mail a couple days ahead of time and asked if she wanted me to bring anything.  The morning of the party, she replies and says that she "hates to ask, because they were planning to host everything", but would appreciate it if I would make these two recipes.  And attached the two recipes that were essentially"fresh squeezed lemonade" and "potato salad".  I was like WTF?!?  They both appeared to be extremely time consuming.  I sent her a reply back, apologizing that I wasn't comfortable making either one, because I didn't have a juicer and I'd never made potato salad.  I told her I would bring some pasta salad, lol.  She at least didn't have any problem with that.

But that was definitely a disconnect for me.  It's one thing to say, "it would be great if you could bring a side dish," and quite another to send actual recipes for TWO items.   

thisismynickname2

I think this is a really interesting debate. 
I lean towards the "it's classist to hate on potlucks" side. If I wanted to share spaghetti with people it's going to be like, 3 of my best friends and that's it- not a party that I host. With a potluck, you get a great variety of stuff, and people can afford to get together more often via the potluck method. 

We just had a housewarming party with about 18 guests and we probably spent $300 on fully hosting- with ordering pizza as the main meal! We overspent, as people did not eat nearly as many snacks as we expected, but we got tons of wine and booze and mixers so we'd have the variety to offer. 

We can't blow $200-$300 on "properly hosting" with any amount of frequency. (Plus, my dinners for a week were chips and dips and crackers and hummus just to get rid of all of it.)
I'm totally down with hosts of parties that size fixing the "main food"- meats, pizzas, whatever- with guests offering to bring chips and dip and a bottle of wine or something.

For me, I suppose it really depends on the nature of the party and the number of guests. If you wanted to have three couples over for a dinner party, sure, fully host that, sounds wonderful. If you want to have 20 people over to watch the Big Game, it doesn't hurt to have people contribute some beverages or snacks.  

SaintPaulGal

climbingwife said:

SaintPaulGal said:

I have to agree with those saying it is classist and shitty to hate on potlucks.  

I have known a lot of college students/early career adults who would basically never have been able to socialize at all if not for potlucks.  (I am also acutely aware that for many people poverty isn't a period you age out of, but I don't personally know any older adults struggling in that way.)  I used to do potlucks with a dozen or more friends at a time when the vast majority of people in the group certainly couldn't have afforded to provide food and drink for all those people.  I would absolutely take a potluck over "fully hosted" ramen and powdered juice drink.

If you like to cook, a potluck gives you a reason to cook for a crowd.  If you don't like to cook, you can buy something premade and get access to others' home cooked foods without having to prepare it yourself.  

I would never condone a potluck wedding, but for casual gatherings of friends or at work/church/social clubs/etc. it's a great alternative to ordering from Jimmy Johns again.  

I don't get this. You really can't order a pizza and get a case of beer? It's not like social events have to be fine dining with different courses. Even if my poorest days, I was able to afford cheap hot dogs and hamburgers. 

And that itself is a position of privilege.  Hamburger is what, $4 a pound at the low end?  3 burgers per pound means you need 5 pounds to feed 15 people. Then maybe 50 cents each for cheap buns.  We are coming up on $30 and all we have is meat and bread.  How about toppings?  Side dishes?  Beverages?   Working part time at $8.50 an hour, that thirty bucks would account for 10% of bi-weekly take home pay.  Once you add cheap sides/toppings/drinks you are probably double that.  I am lucky enough that I would not have had trouble hosting something like this, but many of my friends would.  

southernbelle0915

If I invite people over, I'm hosting the whole thing. Period. I like to cook and make dishes/drinks that go together. Most people in my circle will ask what they can bring. I always tell them nothing but if they bring something anyway, I'll set it out.

However, I always ask other hosts if they'd like me to bring something and I'm never offended if they ask me to contribute. I wouldn't offer if I was going to be offended by the answer. 

I'm not a big fan of most potlucks just because the food never goes together and if everything sucks I'm hungry. But I do like work potlucks. I feel like I can try stuff, get recipe ideas and if everything is terrible, I just go down to the cafeteria and buy something.

Jen4948

cowgirl8238 said:

I am also in the potlucks have their place camp.  When there is a larger group or a real celebration going on I feel like the event should be fully hosted. (Weddings, Showers, Birthdays, the like).  But when it comes to smaller get togethers I don't mind them so much.

Generally if I am hosting something I will provide a sufficient amount of food, drink, and snacks for the time of day.  If someone asks what they can bring, I will tell them what is planned and then if they want anything else they are welcomed to bring it.  Typically my friends don't bring anything but on occasion they will surprise us with some amazing snacks. 

I am generally not a fan of potlucks with specifically assigned items to bring, but also don't like the whole "free-for-all" style either.  In general I think a host should provide the protiens/main meals and can divide apps, desserts, sides, and drinks evenly amongst the others.  I don't mind making a dessert but I don't want to be told to bring a cheesecake...I dunno why it makes such a difference to me but it does.

At the potlucks I've been to, the persons hosting circulate a sign-up sheet where everyone can list what they plan to bring so people can coordinate and make sure there's no duplication or bringing things that don't fit with what everyone else is bringing. I agree with you that being told what to bring is not a good idea.

lyndausvi

So it's classist to hate potlucks.  

But it's not classist to poo-poo a spaghetti dinner that your friend has graciously offered to make you?  Or to think a spaghetti dinner isn't good enough food to make for your friends?



Okay.

southernbelle0915

lyndausvi said:

So it's classist to hate potlucks.  

But it's not classist to poo-poo a spaghetti dinner that your friend has graciously offered to make you?  Or to think a spaghetti dinner isn't good enough food to make for your friends?



Okay.

Stop with your logic, Lynda. Once they make the dislike of potlucks into a socioeconomic issue, you are automatically wrong and they are forever right.

climbingsingle

SaintPaulGal said:

climbingwife said:

SaintPaulGal said:

I have to agree with those saying it is classist and shitty to hate on potlucks.  

I have known a lot of college students/early career adults who would basically never have been able to socialize at all if not for potlucks.  (I am also acutely aware that for many people poverty isn't a period you age out of, but I don't personally know any older adults struggling in that way.)  I used to do potlucks with a dozen or more friends at a time when the vast majority of people in the group certainly couldn't have afforded to provide food and drink for all those people.  I would absolutely take a potluck over "fully hosted" ramen and powdered juice drink.

If you like to cook, a potluck gives you a reason to cook for a crowd.  If you don't like to cook, you can buy something premade and get access to others' home cooked foods without having to prepare it yourself.  

I would never condone a potluck wedding, but for casual gatherings of friends or at work/church/social clubs/etc. it's a great alternative to ordering from Jimmy Johns again.  

I don't get this. You really can't order a pizza and get a case of beer? It's not like social events have to be fine dining with different courses. Even if my poorest days, I was able to afford cheap hot dogs and hamburgers. 

And that itself is a position of privilege.  Hamburger is what, $4 a pound at the low end?  3 burgers per pound means you need 5 pounds to feed 15 people. Then maybe 50 cents each for cheap buns.  We are coming up on $30 and all we have is meat and bread.  How about toppings?  Side dishes?  Beverages?   Working part time at $8.50 an hour, that thirty bucks would account for 10% of bi-weekly take home pay.  Once you add cheap sides/toppings/drinks you are probably double that.  I am lucky enough that I would not have had trouble hosting something like this, but many of my friends would.  

Then you don't host that many people. Does it suck? Yes. Welcome to being an adult. 

littlemushroom

climbingwife said:

SaintPaulGal said:

I have to agree with those saying it is classist and shitty to hate on potlucks.  

I have known a lot of college students/early career adults who would basically never have been able to socialize at all if not for potlucks.  (I am also acutely aware that for many people poverty isn't a period you age out of, but I don't personally know any older adults struggling in that way.)  I used to do potlucks with a dozen or more friends at a time when the vast majority of people in the group certainly couldn't have afforded to provide food and drink for all those people.  I would absolutely take a potluck over "fully hosted" ramen and powdered juice drink.

If you like to cook, a potluck gives you a reason to cook for a crowd.  If you don't like to cook, you can buy something premade and get access to others' home cooked foods without having to prepare it yourself.  

I would never condone a potluck wedding, but for casual gatherings of friends or at work/church/social clubs/etc. it's a great alternative to ordering from Jimmy Johns again.  

I don't get this. You really can't order a pizza and get a case of beer? It's not like social events have to be fine dining with different courses. Even if my poorest days, I was able to afford cheap hot dogs and hamburgers. 

My best friends are supporting a family of 5 on 30k a year, while paying child support for another child who lives with the H's ex-wife. Being a broke single (probably young) adult is vastly different from being a broke family. Some people can't make ends meet when they are paying just for themselves and their family. Those people have friends they want to hang out with too.

climbingsingle

littlemushroom said:

climbingwife said:

SaintPaulGal said:

I have to agree with those saying it is classist and shitty to hate on potlucks.  

I have known a lot of college students/early career adults who would basically never have been able to socialize at all if not for potlucks.  (I am also acutely aware that for many people poverty isn't a period you age out of, but I don't personally know any older adults struggling in that way.)  I used to do potlucks with a dozen or more friends at a time when the vast majority of people in the group certainly couldn't have afforded to provide food and drink for all those people.  I would absolutely take a potluck over "fully hosted" ramen and powdered juice drink.

If you like to cook, a potluck gives you a reason to cook for a crowd.  If you don't like to cook, you can buy something premade and get access to others' home cooked foods without having to prepare it yourself.  

I would never condone a potluck wedding, but for casual gatherings of friends or at work/church/social clubs/etc. it's a great alternative to ordering from Jimmy Johns again.  

I don't get this. You really can't order a pizza and get a case of beer? It's not like social events have to be fine dining with different courses. Even if my poorest days, I was able to afford cheap hot dogs and hamburgers. 

My best friends are supporting a family of 5 on 30k a year, while paying child support for another child who lives with the H's ex-wife. Being a broke single (probably young) adult is vastly different from being a broke family. Some people can't make ends meet when they are paying just for themselves and their family. Those people have friends they want to hang out with too.

Ok? I'm sorry they have 5 kids they are supporting on a small income. But, those are the choices they've made. If you can't afford to have a party without begging your guests to provide for it, don't have a party. 

lyndausvi

I admit I'm economically privileged.   I also have a  husband who is a profession chef and  can take simple ground meat into a mouth watering meal.

I also grew up with an extended family who is pretty firmly in the lower-to-middle class.   A large family one at that.  They always seem to know how to host on the cheap.   

Takes planning, looking for sales, etc.  But it can be done.


Now, sometimes our friends collectively decide together and someone volunteers their home.  In those cases, together we decide who is bringing what.   This is different than one person/couple inviting you to their home.   It was a group decision to get together.  A group choice on who's house.   A group choice on what is going to be served.

southernbelle0915

climbingwife said:

littlemushroom said:

climbingwife said:

SaintPaulGal said:

I have to agree with those saying it is classist and shitty to hate on potlucks.  

I have known a lot of college students/early career adults who would basically never have been able to socialize at all if not for potlucks.  (I am also acutely aware that for many people poverty isn't a period you age out of, but I don't personally know any older adults struggling in that way.)  I used to do potlucks with a dozen or more friends at a time when the vast majority of people in the group certainly couldn't have afforded to provide food and drink for all those people.  I would absolutely take a potluck over "fully hosted" ramen and powdered juice drink.

If you like to cook, a potluck gives you a reason to cook for a crowd.  If you don't like to cook, you can buy something premade and get access to others' home cooked foods without having to prepare it yourself.  

I would never condone a potluck wedding, but for casual gatherings of friends or at work/church/social clubs/etc. it's a great alternative to ordering from Jimmy Johns again.  

I don't get this. You really can't order a pizza and get a case of beer? It's not like social events have to be fine dining with different courses. Even if my poorest days, I was able to afford cheap hot dogs and hamburgers. 

My best friends are supporting a family of 5 on 30k a year, while paying child support for another child who lives with the H's ex-wife. Being a broke single (probably young) adult is vastly different from being a broke family. Some people can't make ends meet when they are paying just for themselves and their family. Those people have friends they want to hang out with too.

Ok? I'm sorry they have 5 kids they are supporting on a small income. But, those are the choices they've made. If you can't afford to have a party without begging your guests to provide for it, don't have a party. 

Or they can have a party, just a different kind of party. Meet your friends at a public park and everyone packs a picnic for their own family or brings their own meat to grill. Or meet at McDonalds and let your kids play in the playplace. Or invite people over for a bonfire (after dinner) and have smores (graham crackers $2, marshmallows $1, chocolate $5). 

There are a million things these people can do. It doesn't have to be a dinner party if they can't afford to have a dinner party. 

TheMostHappy15

I think the point is that many people who could afford to host a basic spaghetti dinner for a group opt for a potluck because everyone's going to get a much better meal out of it and, as a result, have a better time. Of course any guest should graciously accept whatever food is served to them, but let's be real- food is a big source of fun and realistically as a guest I'm going to have more fun getting to try a variety of different things my friends made or bought than eating some noodles with jarred tomato sauce.

The difference in mentality to me stems from thinking of a potluck as hosting a party in a traditional sense. I think a potluck (when done right) is more of a get-together that's mutually undertaken and planned for the common benefit of getting to enjoy a good meal with people you like. It's not supposed to be like, I'm independently deciding I'm going to host a potluck party so I'm going to call everyone up and tell them that's the plan and what will they be bringing, you know?