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Attire & Accessories Forum
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[Deleted User]
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I'm crazy and becoming materialistic about my ring. Talk sense into me.
Our wedding planning started last April quite untraditionally; we always knew we'd get married so we went ring shopping together where we found a 1.15-carat, ideal cut, G, VS2 diamond along with a chic solitaire setting and wedding band.
We have booked with a venue and a photographer along the past 5 months and fast forward to last weekend my fiance finally "popped the ring".
The thing is, man. I love the ring. But the diamond looks small to me. Do my eyes shrink it or something? In pictures it looks like the perfect size for my size 5 finger. But in my eyes, it looks SMALL.
Yes, I've seriously gone crazy. We together make about 200k (pre-tax, of course) and we never believed in the "3-month salary" rule, but people around us all have giant 2-carat and 2.5-carats.
My ring was about $10K including the wedding band. In my head, I hate the idea of spending anything over that for a freaking jewelry. But omg, I feel crazy that my ring looks "small" to me. I cannot believe how materialistic I feel.
Please, talk some sense into me!!
We have booked with a venue and a photographer along the past 5 months and fast forward to last weekend my fiance finally "popped the ring".
The thing is, man. I love the ring. But the diamond looks small to me. Do my eyes shrink it or something? In pictures it looks like the perfect size for my size 5 finger. But in my eyes, it looks SMALL.
Yes, I've seriously gone crazy. We together make about 200k (pre-tax, of course) and we never believed in the "3-month salary" rule, but people around us all have giant 2-carat and 2.5-carats.
My ring was about $10K including the wedding band. In my head, I hate the idea of spending anything over that for a freaking jewelry. But omg, I feel crazy that my ring looks "small" to me. I cannot believe how materialistic I feel.
Please, talk some sense into me!!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I'm crazy and becoming materialistic about my ring. Talk sense into me.
But, none of that really matters. Your ring is beautiful. You and your fiancé chose it for a reason. So you really only have two options.
1. Stop comparing yourself to others. Accept your ring for what it is and what it means. Who cares how big other people's rings are. Your ring is great and has significance and how big or small someone else's is shouldn't make any difference. It's like comparing your relationship to others. You are unique people.
2. If you really wish it was larger and have the financial means, get a new one. Some people aren't as sentimental so getting a new engagement ring wouldn't be as big of an issue. But only do it for you, not because of comparisons with others. And also only if you truly can afford it.
We can't make the decision for you.
OP, if you are still reading, I would advise you not to worry about what others around you are wearing. If you like this ring and you are happy with it, that is what matters. But if you are not the sentimental sort and you have decided you would prefer something else and you also have the funds to make that happen, I don't think there is anything wrong with that either. (I am sentimental and I would never trade out my ring, but that viewpoint is no more or less inherently correct than any other.)
Just own the fact that you care about material objects and go get the damn bigger ring if that's what you want. Don't go up to strangers acting so put upon asking us to help fake martyr yourself by convincing you to come to terms with your puny $10K ring. The vile part is the lack of class displayed not having the sense to have some humility and sharing those details. I don't think she would have gotten the responses she did (which really weren't that harsh all things considered) had she just posted the picture and said something like "i know this seems silly, but i feel like the proportions seem off and the ring looks too small on my finger..."
But I work for a custom jeweler, and so I see the kind of people for whom that pressure is real. You're pressured to have nice cars, a nice house, a big diamond, etc. And if you want and can afford a huge rock, why the fuck not? It's going to last a lot longer than a car, frankly, and the maintenance/insurance is cheaper. I don't have a diamond myself, but I have gained a lot of appreciation for their strength and beauty while working with them. But one should do it because it's what THEY want and not because someone else has a bigger and more expensive whatever-it-may-be.
My "Bling ring" (i.e. the ring after your finger has changed sizes so much after having kids and the original can't be resized without ruining the structural integrity of the ring) doesn't even have a "real" diamond in it - know what - We're still married, I love my ring(s - plural since one after each child my fingers changed that much) and DH doesn't even wear his. The ring is not the marriage! Arguably my "Bling ring" has a significantly larger stone in it than my original that if I wanted real I could, but WHY?!?!? The "fake" stone gives me so much more freedom because I don't have a fear of losing the stone (kids - kids lives/activities). I love my original so much too! It represents where we were at that time in our lives and so many of marriage's lessons along the way and if I were to be able to wear it again, I'd absolutely love to, it's a beautiful ring!
I will give the OP credit though - AWESOME change in the headline before the DD!
My diamond is small. FI wanted something bigger but I wanted something that was small and 'blended in'. My ring is special to me and FI because it represented the request and agreement to get married. At the end of the day we didn't even need the ring to make that agreement. I love my ring because of the thought that went behind it. I don't care what the size is.
Size isn't the only point in determining price. You can spend a fortune on a diamond and outsiders would never know by looking at it because you spent the money on the cut, clarity and colour.
No way would I ever now complain about money, taxes, or our finances, especially to someone who has less than we do. That is just plain tacky. That is very much like what the OP did when she complained that her one carat diamond wasn't big enough!