Wedding Woes

Thursday

Almost there!  Everyone is dragging, and I think the trip is finally catching up with us.  DS tried arguing that it wasn't time to get up because it was still dark out, and I really wanted to agree with him.  I had a half-cup of coffee waiting for the bus with Wooz, but forgot the travel mug that DH poured me.  I really miss that coffee...

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Re: Thursday

  • atomicblondeatomicblonde The Shire
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
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    edited October 2016
    DH and I had a spat because when I talked to our realtor, I had him schedule showings this afternoon for houses with large pieces of land, because DH made it clear that he wanted land if possible. Well, it's possible, and I thought it would make him happy if I saw those possibles... and also I learned yesterday that some HOA communities have breed restrictions on dogs, and these homes have no HOAs.

    Well he was all, "I've never heard of an HOA doing that," and I was like, "Well realtor man says he's seen it, so obviously they do," and it just devolved from there. He also got pissy because the location I'm starting today is on the outer edge of the area we had chosen to focus our search on, and apparently I "blindsided" him and made a "unilateral decision to change our priorities." Which is false on both counts. Nothing has changed, and it won't unless we find a community with breed restrictions in their CCRs. So I made the mistake of saying, "Well either take time off and do it all yourself, or trust me that I am adult enough to do this and find a place all four of us can call home."

    UGH.

    AND THEN I watered all my house plants with soapy water because I grabbed the Tupperware I had slopped soap into instead of the clean one next to it, so all my plants are probably going to be dead when I get home.

    :angry:


    "And when they use our atoms to make new lives, they won’t just be able to take one, they’ll have to take two, one of you and one of me..."
    --Philip Pullman

    mrsconn23
  • mrsconn23 said:
    I haven't had coffee yet and my co-irker is already hitting me up to help her find something in the system that she should know how to find.  At least she can't see me rolling my eyes and cursing her.  Come on next Thursday. 

    I'm hoping that we can get our closing scheduled for our refi today. We still have time to get it in next week, which is my preference.  If not, oh well...I guess.  

    Side note: We were solicited for this refi by the company our mortgage company uses to process loans and refis for them.  We weren't look for one and only took this offer because it was going to drop our rate over a point.  So the big hold-up for a week now has been that my mortgage company wouldn't give the payoff statement to the refi company.  I had to call them and tell them to do it.  Which made me all sorts of "WTF?!" since these companies are supposedly 'partners' in this process.  But these transactions never happen with out some degree of fuckery and this is mild.

    I cannot wait for Saturday.  I'm getting my hair cut for the first time since May and I'm going to do some funky color for vacation.  :D And I think we're going to go to my friend's house and cookout Saturday night.  Her parents spend 8 weeks in Maui every winter (rough life for them, I know), and they'll be there.  So I'm hoping to get some good tips.  Also, we may go visit a puppy we *might* adopt (it's so very maybe, but OMG her pictures are so cute.  However cuteness doesn't make up for shit on a rug or chewed shoes.).
    Yay for funky color and new puppy goodness! 
  • So I think someone comes into my office in the evening and sits at my desk. My chair is always at a slightly different height and things in are in just a little different position in the morning. I know we have housekeeping, but they tend to just empty the trash. Maybe its gremlins, or I'm losing my mind. 

    @AtomicBlonde that sucks. We went through a really similar argument. Home buying was possibly the most stressful time in our marriage. We talked about things, agreed on our must-haves, would-like-to-haves, and our dealbreakers, but I was the one who dealt with the realtor. So when she would say things we wanted were unrealistic in our price range, or we needed to expand our search area to include different towns/neighborhoods, H would get mad at me for "changing things without him". Even though I was just trying to tell him what the realtor was telling me. I got so annoyed I told him to call her directly, he did, and she told him the exact same thing I had told him. 

    It drove me crazy because it felt like he didn't trust me to stick to what we agreed to, or that he thought I was trying to steer the search toward things I wanted, when really I was trying to find us more options. Home-buying sucks. 
    mrsconn23atomicblonde
  • Selling our house and buying a new one was the longest 3.5 months of my life.   I got sick 3 times in those 3 months and I get sick about once a year at the most.  

    Luckily, we were both on the same page for the most part.  I did go alone to a house that we both were really interested in and it was a no-go.  DH got a little irritated and said he wanted to go see it anyway, but either it sold or we found this house before scheduling another showing.  But we had to move our closing date by a month and our seller made us pay carrying costs for the month.  I agreed to it and DH was irritated that I didn't fight it.  But my thought was, "We have the money to throw at this problem.  So let's just make it go away."  I didn't want the guy to back out on us, because we really wanted the house. 
  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya
    Moderator 5000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary
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    edited September 2016

    Buying a house was the. worst. My H got all weird and was acting like the entire world would hypothetically be against him. I'm so glad he loves the house we ended up with, especially since he didn't like it at first.

    I'm sorry, AtomicBlonde.

    Thank GOD my dad is home Saturday and he laughed when I called to see if he'd take the dog. I'm a terrible parent.

    My SIL is pregnant with a boy. My maiden/her last name rhymes perfectly with a male first name. Several family members and a friend and I were just kidding on FB last night about being team "Markus Parkus" and SIL got all "enough with the Markus crap. It's not funny". I had to stop myself from saying "it's too bad Fun Police Parkus is already taken".


    Edited for typo

    image
    charlotte989875thefanciestbecklerkimmiinthemittenMissKittyDanger
  • mrsconn23 said:
    Selling our house and buying a new one was the longest 3.5 months of my life.   I got sick 3 times in those 3 months and I get sick about once a year at the most.  

    Luckily, we were both on the same page for the most part.  I did go alone to a house that we both were really interested in and it was a no-go.  DH got a little irritated and said he wanted to go see it anyway, but either it sold or we found this house before scheduling another showing.  But we had to move our closing date by a month and our seller made us pay carrying costs for the month.  I agreed to it and DH was irritated that I didn't fight it.  But my thought was, "We have the money to throw at this problem.  So let's just make it go away."  I didn't want the guy to back out on us, because we really wanted the house. 


    I read so many SO disputes on here and am thankful that over time, DH and I have worked out a lot of the major kinks.  But this is the one that drives me nuts.  He will ask me to take care of something, and then second guess me after the fact.  And not just "Hey, did you also consider _________?" but straight-up "Well if I had done it, I would have done _________ instead."  By all means, then, have at it.  I have enough on my plate; let me know how it all works out.

    He did that when we were moving, and it drove me nuts.  We decided to replace the carpeting, and I called around for quotes.  He was all "I didn't think it would cost that much," [based on what, the previous zero times you've replaced carpeting?] and "You should have called [random place I'd never heard of that apparently his coworker had used]."  Grrrrrrr.

    I will say, however, that for being as different as we are, we have almost identical taste in housing.  When we bought our first house, I was down here and he was still in the process of transferring, so I did a lot of the househunting legwork, and then we toured the top several together when he flew down on weekends.  The one we ended up buying was both of our hands-down favorites.  And then the last time around, we were both looking and looking and not finding what we wanted, and then we walked into our current house, looked at each other, and we both knew it was the one.

    So we may drive each other nuts sometimes, but at least we have that going for us. ;)

    ShesSoColdmrsconn23
  • Heffalump said:

    Almost there!  Everyone is dragging, and I think the trip is finally catching up with us.  DS tried arguing that it wasn't time to get up because it was still dark out, and I really wanted to agree with him.  I had a half-cup of coffee waiting for the bus with Wooz, but forgot the travel mug that DH poured me.  I really miss that coffee...

    @Heffalump
    I have no clue why, but that 1 hour change screws with me more than the 6-8 hours difference when we've gone to Europe.

    DK was getting snippy with me last night (renovation stress) and was taking it out on me because I begged off gymnastics class to eat dinner and relax at the hotel (I had skipped lunch, and was starting to feel crummy). He decided to stick around our house longer than planned and didn't get dinner before gymnastics class as planned, which pushed back our schedule for the rest of the night - I appreciated the work he was doing, but wasn't happy about the schedule change/lack of communication. I had dinner ready for him and Wolverine when they got back, (+a cold beer) so all was forgiven.  

    We're talking to our insurance company and our contractor about extending the hotel stay through the middle of next week - we're hoping they approve it because the parts of the house not under construction look like a Hoarders episode. I'm hoping we can get in for part of the weekend to try to clean up and organize some stuff. 
  • thefanciestbecklerthefanciestbeckler Chattanooga, TN
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    member

    @AtomicBlonde I feel your pain and I am so sorry. DH and I bought a house 3 months before our wedding (horrible decision) and it was one of the worst patches we've ever had in our relationship. We fought so much during that time. DH's house had been sitting on the market for almost a year and was barely being shown, and he was all "if it sells, great, if not, great!" He got an offer 3 months before the wedding out of the blue, and it was too good to turn down. We were under a really tight deadline for when we had to be out of his house so the whole process was accelerated. It was a nightmare. I really feel for you.

    @ShesSoCold your comment about Fun Police Parkus almost made me spit my coffee out. That's hilarious!

    Woke up with a nice little fire under me to lose this weight. Everybody's suggestions really helped me out, so thank you guys! It's awesome to have this community. Oddly enough, I have tried all kinds of weight loss techniques (portion control, low carb, etc.) but have never tried calorie counting. So I downloaded an app this morning to help me with that, and I'm also going to try setting smaller goals and implementing a rewards system for myself :)

    DH is flying today and won't be home until late, so I think I'll hit the gym after work and then go home and cook something good for dinner. Other than that, SSDD here.


    charlotte989875kimmiinthemittenatomicblonde
  • I'm working on a "New Board Member" notebook b/c apparently I'm a masochist for work to do.  This is after researching and creating 4 new bylaw amendment proposals, creating a social media policy and proposal, and getting information for 3 possible sponsorships to be presented to the board.  Oh well, it keeps me busy.

    Tomorrow I have to go to a "so you're unemployed" orientation for my unemployment.  The Division provided a piece of paper to fill out with my job searches.  I'm hoping when I show up with my Excel spreadsheet of job searches/applications, they look at me and just sign off and let me go.

  • mrsconn23 said:
    I got a closing date! Next Thursday...you know, the day before we leave.  BUT YASSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!  And we don't pay Oct OR Nov.  Best.day.ever. 


    I just came back from a vacation in Boston.  I was supposed to close on a rental duplex investment on Sept. 12th.  Than the title company informed me they had to push the closing to Sept. 21st.  Because they are morons and hadn't even started the paperwork to prepare the HUD statement.

    Fine, whatever.  But I was going to be gone from the 21st-27th.  I told them I could close on the 20th or sooner.  Or I could close on the 28th or later.  Pick your poison.

    So I closed on the 20th.  The day before I left on vacation, lol.  Everything went smoothly (phew), so I am sending out the same good vibes for you! 

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    mrsconn23Heffalumpcharlotte989875
  • I overslept today and was an hour late for work. It's the second time this WEEK that's happened. I've been working at this company for 7 years, and I have never overslept or even been late.

    I have to have a meeting with my boss this afternoon about it, and I'm going to be contrite, but my anxiety is going out of control. I just want to try and come off as non-defensive as possible. It's not ok. I don't think it's ok. And I don't want them to think I think it's ok.

    But I feel like garbage because of it. I feel like I must be going through something emotionally that I haven't quite addressed to have this happen.


  • I overslept today and was an hour late for work. It's the second time this WEEK that's happened. I've been working at this company for 7 years, and I have never overslept or even been late.

    I have to have a meeting with my boss this afternoon about it, and I'm going to be contrite, but my anxiety is going out of control. I just want to try and come off as non-defensive as possible. It's not ok. I don't think it's ok. And I don't want them to think I think it's ok.

    But I feel like garbage because of it. I feel like I must be going through something emotionally that I haven't quite addressed to have this happen.


    I would tackle the meeting with contrition and presenting your game plan to ensure this doesn't happen again.

    Me personally, I use two alarm clocks.  Because I have sometimes slept through the first one.

    It sounds like you are puzzled as to why this happened.  I would share that with them also.  Perhaps you should see a doctor to make sure there isn't a medical reason this is going on.  I would tell them that also if that was something I planned to do, though obviously there is no need to do disclose that if you would not want to. 

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    crowsgirl15
  • I overslept today and was an hour late for work. It's the second time this WEEK that's happened. I've been working at this company for 7 years, and I have never overslept or even been late.

    I have to have a meeting with my boss this afternoon about it, and I'm going to be contrite, but my anxiety is going out of control. I just want to try and come off as non-defensive as possible. It's not ok. I don't think it's ok. And I don't want them to think I think it's ok.

    But I feel like garbage because of it. I feel like I must be going through something emotionally that I haven't quite addressed to have this happen.


    I would tackle the meeting with contrition and presenting your game plan to ensure this doesn't happen again.

    Me personally, I use two alarm clocks.  Because I have sometimes slept through the first one.

    It sounds like you are puzzled as to why this happened.  I would share that with them also.  Perhaps you should see a doctor to make sure there isn't a medical reason this is going on.  I would tell them that also if that was something I planned to do, though obviously there is no need to do disclose that if you would not want to. 

    Really good idea. And yes, I definitely plan to be completely contrite. Which I am, so that should help.

    I also use 2 alarm clocks. Both times I slept through both of them. I clearly need a new game plan, and I'll express to them what it is (for me, it will be aiming to get to work 30 minutes before my current in time, and basically just starting my morning earlier).

    I think there are some emotional issues causing this to happen, some of which are work-related. But that's an internal thought and not one I would share with them. Because I should be able to handle my emotions in a way that doesn't affect my job. 


    short+sassy
  • I already know that FH and I will have a horrible time house hunting. God help us if we ever decide to renovate or even decorate. We have completely different priorities and styles. Luckily, I don't see is settling down anytime soon. 

    I met a friend for trivia last night and we stayed at the bar till 1am. It has been a while since I have done that.

    I have so much housework to do before I pick FH up from the airport tonight. I also have my lesson tonight so I had better start moving.
  • kimmiinthemittenkimmiinthemitten Detroit, MI
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    @mrsconn23 yay on the closing date - and on the puppy!  I thought you were anti puppy??

    @AtomicBlonde I would have said the same thing.  Don't hate me, but house buying for FI and I was easy.  It was the moving/aftermath that nearly did us in.  He was so damned lazy.  It was like we bought a house and suddenly he expected me to be his mommy.  Hell to the no.  Thankfully we're past that part, but I see reno's being a huge PITA in the near future.

    Good luck @thefanciestbeckler!  You can do it!

    Speaking of SSDD, I slept until 11, for the third day in a row.  Next week is going to be so hard.  I even skipped my afternoon nap (which is hard) to make sure I fell asleep early and actually fell asleep before midnight.  I'm afraid I'm going to fall asleep at my desk.

    Remember a couple days ago when I was mad at my boss for wanting me to come in during my medical leave to review a bid?  Well, I feel bad for assuming the worst.  Apparently he knew I had surgery but not what I had done (I know I told him, I freaking told everyone), and didn't realize how extensive it was and felt bad for even asking.  After my email saying I didn't want to risk an infection or hematoma he became very worried about me and started asking around the office to people who know me better to make sure I am okay.
    image
    mrsconn23short+sassy
  • @mrsconn23 yay on the closing date - and on the puppy!  I thought you were anti puppy??


    Not totally anti, just hesitant with the amount of work.  And I'm still not sure if we'll even go for it.  If we go meet her, we'll discuss over vacation and decide then.  A huge factor is going to be her personality. She needs to be a chill dog.  My kids are enough of a handful.  ;) 
    kimmiinthemittenshort+sassyShesSoColdHeffalump
  • kimmiinthemittenkimmiinthemitten Detroit, MI
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    mrsconn23 said:
    @mrsconn23 yay on the closing date - and on the puppy!  I thought you were anti puppy??


    Not totally anti, just hesitant with the amount of work.  And I'm still not sure if we'll even go for it.  If we go meet her, we'll discuss over vacation and decide then.  A huge factor is going to be her personality. She needs to be a chill dog.  My kids are enough of a handful.  ;) 
    Fair enough I suppose - but I'm dog crazy and want all the dogs so I say do it!
    image
    short+sassycharlotte989875
  • It was so awesome to have all soccer practices cancelled last night.  Of course tonight's schedule is ROUGH.  I'm either going to be eating dinner at 4:30 or 8:45.  It's teacher conference night though and I can't wait to hear what they have to say.

    Dh and I have bought and sold two houses.  I hated every moment of it.  It's part of the reason we added on instead of buying again.  I love our neighborhood and while the scores are HUUUUUUUGE they're very, very good. 

    On a whim I bought some jeans from Costco on-line.  They were on sale for $15 so why not?  I'm loving them.  The price went back to $20 but it's still worth it to get another pair.
    mrsconn23
  • the house buying and selling was actually pretty easy on our relationship. (bought a house in PA, moved to TX after ~2 years, so sold it and bought one here). I was pregnant during the TX move, so that part was stressful, but I actually enjoyed the shopping process. 

    the remodel hasn't been too bad from a relationship, either - just added stress, more than anything. 

    biggest piece of advice for house hunting - learn to look past paint colors - it's literally the easiest and cheapest thing to change in the house. we had a realtor look at our house in PA and comment that there was too much blue. i was not about to repaint (over ~2yo paint) when it wasn't going to add any value. If you want a blank slate, build. 
    charlotte989875
  • Buying a house was the. worst. My H got all weird and was acting like the entire world would hypothetically be against him. I'm so glad he loves the house we ended up with, especially since he didn't like it at first.

    I'm sorry, AtomicBlonde.

    Thank GOD my dad is home Saturday and he laughed when I called to see if he'd take the dog. I'm a terrible parent.

    My SIL is pregnant with a boy. My maiden/her last name rhymes perfectly with a male first name. Several family members and a friend and I were just kidding on FB last night about being team "Markus Parkus" and SIL got all "enough with the Markus crap. It's not funny". I had to stop myself from saying "it's too bad Fun Police Parkus is already taken".


    Edited for typo

    Reminds me of my friend from h.s - his name was Matt Hatt and we would hear people yelling his name at the mall. He eventually asked his family wtf they were thinking naming him that lmao
  • Last night got into a snit with H and I think it's really just stress, and maybe it's more on my part. We'll see what happens afterwards, but if I keep snarking I may have to look at what's wrong.

    I'm an idiot, I forgot my keys at the house so when we said we were going to stop - we had to go back *sigh* H was pissed because he wanted to stop. Anyways, grabbed closet stuff and went back for my keys.


    Today I had to haul my ass downtown - I work/live in west end, this is in east end/central area - 3.75km walking all morning.

    Got to work late, ended up sending my coworker home. She's fighting some virus, so she needs rest.


    Tomorrow is moving day!!!
    short+sassymrsconn23
  • Last night got into a snit with H and I think it's really just stress, and maybe it's more on my part. We'll see what happens afterwards, but if I keep snarking I may have to look at what's wrong.

    I'm an idiot, I forgot my keys at the house so when we said we were going to stop - we had to go back *sigh* H was pissed because he wanted to stop. Anyways, grabbed closet stuff and went back for my keys.


    Today I had to haul my ass downtown - I work/live in west end, this is in east end/central area - 3.75km walking all morning.

    Got to work late, ended up sending my coworker home. She's fighting some virus, so she needs rest.


    Tomorrow is moving day!!!

    Sweet!  I'm assuming you already closed then?

    I've been MIA on here because of my vacation and I'm trying to catch up, lol.

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    kimmiinthemittenMissKittyDanger
  • DrillSergeantCatDrillSergeantCat Oklahoma City, OK
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
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    When I hand my boss a bill to approve, I assume that he's actually looked it over. Apparently, that's an inaccurate assumption since he had me post charges to the wrong item. Now, I get to credit this thing back which is a huge pain in the ass. It's funny, though, when I was on maternity leave earlier this year, he told the salesman he thinks he can do my job. Hell...he can't even do HIS!
    ShesSoColdshort+sassy
  • I am pouting. FMIL's gift arrived today and the box is all dented to shit. It is packaged in such a way that I can't open it to make sure nothing is broken inside so I am going to have to take it to the store in town to get a new box at least. NBD, just another thing to add to the list.
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