Help with timeline

Midwest2Texas

I'm exactly 30 days out from my wedding (Nov 5) and I really need to start working on my timeline. So, here is a rough draft (suggestions please!)


10 am: Arrive at venue with mom & MOH for hair and makeup (snacks/lunch provided)

1 pm: pictures with Groom/Groom's family and BM 

1:45 pm: Pictures with Bride/Bride's family and MOH

2:30 pm: First look with bride and dad

3 pm: Ceremony music

3:30 pm: processional and ceremony

3:50 pm: receiving line into cocktail hour space

4:05 pm: cocktails in foyer begins

4:05 pm: Pictures with B&G and both families, and bridal party

4:20 pm: Pictures of B&G

4:55 pm: B&G join guests for cocktails

5:10 pm: Everyone moves to the library for reception

5:15 pm: Prayer

5:17 pm: dinner (buffet style)

6:00 pm: toasts

6:30 pm: first dance

6:35 pm: father/daughter dance, followed by dancing (with my crowed I don't expect much dancing)

7:10 pm: cake cutting

7:15 pm: desert

8:15 pm: bar closes

9:00 pm: reception ends (possibly earlier or later depending on the guests, we have the venue until 11pm)


Things to note:
   - it's a small-ish wedding (approx 50 people), so moving them through the receiving line and buffet line won't take long
  - the majority of the guests are not people who I think would dance. We will have the option for them to, but I don't expect much (I don't like to dance myself)
  - reception is ending early because FH and I need to drive approx 2 hours to the hotel 

STARMOON44

A first look with your dad? That's real weird. Usually a first look of for bride and groom pictures. I'd combine photos with dad with photos with your family and bridesmaids and move them to 2:30, move groom's side to 1:45, and move your start time later in the day as well. 

Cocktails need to start at 3:50 (someone's making it through the line first!). 

Are you envisioning toasts lasting a half hour? That's much too long. I'd aim to keep them at 10 minutes and then go right into your first dance.

id also keep the bar open longer if you can. I think it will prompt people to leave if it closes. 

ei34

Will dinner take an hour and 15 minutes?  Will guests have the option of dancing (or I guess mingling) during dessert?  Between dinner and the hour for dessert it seems like a lot of sitting down eating.  I've also never heard of a father/daughter first look but enjoy.  And if the bar closed at 8:15 I'd definitely leave closer to 9 than 11.

lyndausvi

STARMOON44 said:

A first look with your dad? That's real weird. Usually a first look of for bride and groom pictures. I'd combine photos with dad with photos with your family and bridesmaids and move them to 2:30, move groom's side to 1:45, and move your start time later in the day as well. 

Cocktails need to start at 3:50 (someone's making it through the line first!). 

Are you envisioning toasts lasting a half hour? That's much too long. I'd aim to keep them at 10 minutes and then go right into your first dance.

id also keep the bar open longer if you can. I think it will prompt people to leave if it closes. 

I saw that and got confused myself.  Especially when the bride's family pictures were right before.  Wouldn't he be there?     I'm guess she means with the groom.

PnkBride

Definitely start cocktail's at 3:50.

MesmrEwe

Cut the first look with your Dad or arrange once you're dressed for him to come in and get as many pictures done before the ceremony as humanly possible!  You don't want to be wrangling people during the cocktail hour for pictures (hindsight is 20/20 here!) because it's like going through the grocery store with kids, better to go when you can get it done in a hurry than trying to "Oh look SQUIRREL!" with people's attention as well as risks of drinks being spilled, etc. during the cocktail hour.  The whole "first look" thing is overrated IMO, a good photographer will "catch it" without timing it which can either slow you down or stress you out because of being behind on the timeline.  You want to be relaxing and enjoying your cocktail hour yourselves too, not trying to fit everything in. 

ILoveBeachMusic

STARMOON44 said:

A first look with your dad? That's real weird. Usually a first look of for bride and groom pictures. I'd combine photos with dad with photos with your family and bridesmaids and move them to 2:30, move groom's side to 1:45, and move your start time later in the day as well. 

Cocktails need to start at 3:50 (someone's making it through the line first!). 

Are you envisioning toasts lasting a half hour? That's much too long. I'd aim to keep them at 10 minutes and then go right into your first dance.

id also keep the bar open longer if you can. I think it will prompt people to leave if it closes. 

Actually DD had a first look with H. The photographer got a great shot of him seeing her completely dressed. It was wonderful- the expression on his face! It didn't last long - just a few minutes then we took pictures of the three of us together. 

I agree that 30 mins is long for toasts and to keep the bar open longer.

STARMOON44

ILoveBeachMusic said:

show previous quotes

STARMOON44 said:

A first look with your dad? That's real weird. Usually a first look of for bride and groom pictures. I'd combine photos with dad with photos with your family and bridesmaids and move them to 2:30, move groom's side to 1:45, and move your start time later in the day as well. 

Cocktails need to start at 3:50 (someone's making it through the line first!). 

Are you envisioning toasts lasting a half hour? That's much too long. I'd aim to keep them at 10 minutes and then go right into your first dance.

id also keep the bar open longer if you can. I think it will prompt people to leave if it closes. 

Actually DD had a first look with H. The photographer got a great shot of him seeing her completely dressed. It was wonderful- the expression on his face! It didn't last long - just a few minutes then we took pictures of the three of us together. 

I agree that 30 mins is long for toasts and to keep the bar open longer.

It's just so weird. I hate all these cutesy traditions that vaguely sexualize the father daughter relationship. Like, why? Did mom have a first look? Nope. 

ILoveBeachMusic

STARMOON44 said:

show previous quotes

ILoveBeachMusic said:

STARMOON44 said:

A first look with your dad? That's real weird. Usually a first look of for bride and groom pictures. I'd combine photos with dad with photos with your family and bridesmaids and move them to 2:30, move groom's side to 1:45, and move your start time later in the day as well. 

Cocktails need to start at 3:50 (someone's making it through the line first!). 

Are you envisioning toasts lasting a half hour? That's much too long. I'd aim to keep them at 10 minutes and then go right into your first dance.

id also keep the bar open longer if you can. I think it will prompt people to leave if it closes. 

Actually DD had a first look with H. The photographer got a great shot of him seeing her completely dressed. It was wonderful- the expression on his face! It didn't last long - just a few minutes then we took pictures of the three of us together. 

I agree that 30 mins is long for toasts and to keep the bar open longer.

It's just so weird. I hate all these cutesy traditions that vaguely sexualize the father daughter relationship. Like, why? Did mom have a first look? Nope. 

I certainly didn't seeing it as sexualizing the father daughter relationship! My husband was just overcome by his emotions of seeing his daughter dressed as a bride and realizing that his little girl was going to start her own family (DD and SIL). I helped her get dressed so it wouldn't make sense for me to have a first look. Maybe calling it a first look needs to be rethought but seriously, sexualizing! Nope!

lyndausvi

STARMOON44 said:

show previous quotes

ILoveBeachMusic said:

STARMOON44 said:

A first look with your dad? That's real weird. Usually a first look of for bride and groom pictures. I'd combine photos with dad with photos with your family and bridesmaids and move them to 2:30, move groom's side to 1:45, and move your start time later in the day as well. 

Cocktails need to start at 3:50 (someone's making it through the line first!). 

Are you envisioning toasts lasting a half hour? That's much too long. I'd aim to keep them at 10 minutes and then go right into your first dance.

id also keep the bar open longer if you can. I think it will prompt people to leave if it closes. 

Actually DD had a first look with H. The photographer got a great shot of him seeing her completely dressed. It was wonderful- the expression on his face! It didn't last long - just a few minutes then we took pictures of the three of us together. 

I agree that 30 mins is long for toasts and to keep the bar open longer.

It's just so weird. I hate all these cutesy traditions that vaguely sexualize the father daughter relationship. Like, why? Did mom have a first look? Nope. 

While not official, my mom and mil did have a first look of sorts.  The photographer snap a shots of both of them when they saw me all finished up. (they were both in the room with me)

Our first look included everyone.   Well the BM's/moms/SILs had already seen me, but they were down stairs, along with the GMs, parents, siblings and SO's of the WP and of course DH.   I have some really great shots of not just DH, but dad and everyone else seeing me for the first time.


That all said,  Dad's first look some 45 minutes after the bride's family's pictures is just odd.  And certainly doesn't need to take 30 minutes.

justsie

I'd like to know how a first look is sexualized in the first place? It's literally a time to go "look how nice I look and I get to look how nice you look yay I'm happy/other emotions". What kind of first look are you doing that that is sexualized? 

STARMOON44

Idk maybe it's just me. But subbing daddy in for a role normally played by the groom just strikes me as off. 

Midwest2Texas

@MesmrEwe you're correct in what I was calling a "first look" with my dad. It's just that I wanted the photographer to capture the moment when my dad see's me.

And good point @STARMOON44, cocktails should be ready to go as soon as the ceremony ends.

Midwest2Texas

Ok.... so here is a revision r the portion after the ceremony:

10 am: Arrive at venue with mom & MOH for hair and makeup (snacks/lunch provided)

1 pm: pictures with Groom/Groom's family and BM 

2 pm: pictures with Bride/Bride's family and MOH

3 pm: Ceremony music

3:30 pm: processional and ceremony

3:50 pm: ceremony ends; receiving line into cocktail hour

4:05 pm: Pictures with B&G and both families, and bridal party

4:10 pm: Pictures of B&G

4:30 pm: B&G join guests for cocktails

5:10 pm: Everyone moves to the library for reception

5:15 pm: Prayer

5:17 pm: dinner (buffet style)

6:00 pm: toasts

6:10 pm: first dance

6:15 pm: father/daughter dance, followed by dancing (with my crowed I don't expect much dancing)

6:45 pm: cake cutting

6:50 pm: desert

8:15 pm: bar closes


I don't really plan to change when the bar closes because we are paying by the hour after 7 pm, and I honestly don't think many people would stay longer since the event starts mid-afternoon. If people want to stay and keep socializing beyond that, they are welcome to. I also can't change the start time at this point since it's already been communicated to guests and vendors. 

STARMOON44

I think you should serve cake later, like in your original time line. 

charlotte989875

Are you doing photos with your families at different locations, or in the same place? Two hours of photos before the ceremony seems like a lot (and unless you have huge families on both sides and needs tons of shots) you likely won't need all that time (and you're getting ready much earlier than you need to). 

We did all our WP photos before hand and it only took an hour, then it really only. Took 20-25 minutes to do family and group shots after the ceremony. 

SP29

I think your timeline is generally fine. Good on starting your cocktail hour as soon as your receiving line begins!

I agree you likely will not need one hour for grooms family and one hour for bride's family. Likely 1h-1.5h for all will suffice. First look with your dad is cool- but I agree, wouldn't you do this before your family photos? And it'll only be a couple of shots.

MesmrEwe

I'd do your cake cutting when you do the B&G pictures...  There's no good reason to do it so much later after the dinner especially since all the tables will be bussed and people will have moved on to other activities in the room... 

MandyMost

It takes some time between the cake cutting, and the caterer having time to cut and serve the rest of the cake. Maybe do the cake cutting before the first dance (this often works well), and then keep the serving of dessert later. 

I made some other updates below. 


11 am: Arrive at venue with mom & MOH for hair and makeup (snacks/lunch provided) (NOTE: This gives you a full 3.5 hours before photos any of you are involved in.)

2 pm: pictures with Groom/Groom's family and BM 

2:30 pm: pictures with Bride/Bride's family and MOH

3 pm: Ceremony music (and bride/groom time to regroup and relax before the processional)

3:30 pm: processional and ceremony

3:50 pm: ceremony ends; receiving line into cocktail hour (which starts at 3:50pm)

4:05 pm: Pictures with B&G and both families, and bridal party

4:15 pm: Pictures of B&G

4:45 pm: B&G join guests for cocktails

5:10 pm: Everyone moves to the library for reception

5:15 pm: Prayer

5:17 pm: dinner (buffet style)

6:00 pm: toasts

6:15 pm: cake cutting

6:17 pm: first dance

6:20 pm: father/daughter dance, followed by dancing (with my crowed I don't expect much dancing)

7 pm: dessert served

8:15 pm: bar closes

8:45 pm: reception ends; bride and groom depart

SP29

MandyMost said:

It takes some time between the cake cutting, and the caterer having time to cut and serve the rest of the cake. Maybe do the cake cutting before the first dance (this often works well), and then keep the serving of dessert later. 

I made some other updates below. 


11 am: Arrive at venue with mom & MOH for hair and makeup (snacks/lunch provided) (NOTE: This gives you a full 3.5 hours before photos any of you are involved in.)

2 pm: pictures with Groom/Groom's family and BM 

2:30 pm: pictures with Bride/Bride's family and MOH

3 pm: Ceremony music (and bride/groom time to regroup and relax before the processional)

3:30 pm: processional and ceremony

3:50 pm: ceremony ends; receiving line into cocktail hour (which starts at 3:50pm)

4:05 pm: Pictures with B&G and both families, and bridal party

4:15 pm: Pictures of B&G I think you'll need more than 10 mins for pictures of both families and bridal party. 30 mins should be good for the B&G. OP, you may or may not be able to join your guests for cocktails.

4:45 pm: B&G join guests for cocktails

5:10 pm: Everyone moves to the library for reception

5:15 pm: Prayer

5:17 pm: dinner (buffet style)

6:00 pm: toasts

6:15 pm: cake cutting

6:17 pm: first dance

6:20 pm: father/daughter dance, followed by dancing (with my crowed I don't expect much dancing)

7 pm: dessert served

8:15 pm: bar closes

8:45 pm: reception ends; bride and groom depart

MyNameIsNot

I kind of disagree that you are getting ready too early. In my experience (both in my wedding and in the weddings that I've been in), the getting ready part usually takes a while. A pro can take an hour each for hair and makeup, plus getting into your dress. It's nice to have some extra time built in for cushion, or to just enjoy the lunch w/MOH and mom.

On the photos, if you're seeing each other anyway, why not do the ones with everyone before the ceremony as well? Then you could get them all done and can mingle during the cocktail hour. 

SP29

MyNameIsNot said:

I kind of disagree that you are getting ready too early. In my experience (both in my wedding and in the weddings that I've been in), the getting ready part usually takes a while. A pro can take an hour each for hair and makeup, plus getting into your dress. It's nice to have some extra time built in for cushion, or to just enjoy the lunch w/MOH and mom.

On the photos, if you're seeing each other anyway, why not do the ones with everyone before the ceremony as well? Then you could get them all done and can mingle during the cocktail hour. 

I agree. I would budget one hour for hair, one hour for make up, half an hour to get dressed. Also include time to eat and any travel.

Also depends on how many stylists you have. Is one person doing your mom's and MOH's hair too, or are there more than one?

Jen4948

Midwest2Texas said:

@MesmrEwe you're correct in what I was calling a "first look" with my dad. It's just that I wanted the photographer to capture the moment when my dad see's me.

And good point @STARMOON44, cocktails should be ready to go as soon as the ceremony ends.

Why do you need a "first look" with your dad? You're not marrying him.

I would cut this to save time.

Also, the bar needs to stay open until the end of the reception.

redoryx

My sister has a photo of my dad seeing her for the first time in her dress but it was taken during the time we were all back in the church waiting for the ceremony to start and he happened to come in to check on us. She didn't dedicate HALF AN HOUR to it. 

lovesclimbing

redoryx said:

My sister has a photo of my dad seeing her for the first time in her dress but it was taken during the time we were all back in the church waiting for the ceremony to start and he happened to come in to check on us. She didn't dedicate HALF AN HOUR to it. 

Even my first look with H didn't take half an hour. 

PrettyGirlLost

Midwest2Texas said:

Ok.... so here is a revision r the portion after the ceremony:

10 am: Arrive at venue with mom & MOH for hair and makeup (snacks/lunch provided)

1 pm: pictures with Groom/Groom's family and BM 

2 pm: pictures with Bride/Bride's family and MOH

3 pm: Ceremony music

3:30 pm: processional and ceremony

3:50 pm: ceremony ends; receiving line into cocktail hour

4:05 pm: Pictures with B&G and both families, and bridal party

4:10 pm: Pictures of B&G

4:30 pm: B&G join guests for cocktails

5:10 pm: Everyone moves to the library for reception

5:15 pm: Prayer

5:17 pm: dinner (buffet style)

6:00 pm: toasts

6:10 pm: first dance

6:15 pm: father/daughter dance, followed by dancing (with my crowed I don't expect much dancing)

6:45 pm: cake cutting

6:50 pm: desert

8:15 pm: bar closes


I don't really plan to change when the bar closes because we are paying by the hour after 7 pm, and I honestly don't think many people would stay longer since the event starts mid-afternoon. If people want to stay and keep socializing beyond that, they are welcome to. I also can't change the start time at this point since it's already been communicated to guests and vendors. 

2 hours for pictures prior to the ceremony and than another hour for pics after is waaay overkill.

If you have a well written list of must have shots and portraits, then should be able to get through all the pre ceremony pics in about an hour- if you have two shooters, even faster as they'll be split up.

After the ceremony the pics should also go pretty quickly if you have a good list of the shots you want, but I don't think an hour is too bad.

cowgirl8238

PrettyGirlLost said:

2 hours for pictures prior to the ceremony and than another hour for pics after is waaay overkill.

If you have a well written list of must have shots and portraits, then should be able to get through all the pre ceremony pics in about an hour- if you have two shooters, even faster as they'll be split up.

After the ceremony the pics should also go pretty quickly if you have a good list of the shots you want, but I don't think an hour is too bad.

This is almost exactly how our wedding went.  It took about 1.5 hours to do all of the "Getting Ready", Bride with her family/BMs, Groom with his family/GM, and then all of the larger group shots and blending of families took closer to 45mins between ceremony and reception, during cocktail hour.

ETF: Missing word

Midwest2Texas

Ok, hopefully this is the last revision I need to make:

11 am: Arrive at venue with mom & MOH for hair and makeup (snacks/lunch provided)- 1 stylist, 3 hairstyles

1:30 pm: pictures with Groom/Groom's family and BM 

2 pm: pictures with Bride/Bride's family and MOH (includes getting ready)

3 pm: Ceremony music

3:30 pm: processional and ceremony

3:50 pm: ceremony ends; receiving line into cocktail hour

4:05 pm: Pictures with B&G and both families, and bridal party

4:10 pm: Pictures of B&G

4:30 pm: B&G join guests for cocktails

5:10 pm: Everyone moves to the library for reception

5:15 pm: Prayer

5:17 pm: dinner (buffet style)

6:00 pm: toasts

6:15 pm: Cake cutting

6:20 pm: First Dance

6:25 pm: Father/Daughter Dance followed by dancing (with my crowed I don't expect much dancing)

7 pm: desert

8:15 pm: reception ends, bar closes

charlotte989875

Looks good to me. One question, what time do your invites say the ceremony starts? Hopefully 3:30. I like that you'll have music as people are getting here, just wanted to double check you put 3:30 on the invites. 

cowgirl8238

Midwest2Texas said:

Ok, hopefully this is the last revision I need to make:

11 am: Arrive at venue with mom & MOH for hair and makeup (snacks/lunch provided)- 1 stylist, 3 hairstyles

1:30 pm: pictures with Groom/Groom's family and BM 

2 pm: pictures with Bride/Bride's family and MOH (includes getting ready)

3 pm: Ceremony music

3:30 pm: processional and ceremony

3:50 pm: ceremony ends; receiving line into cocktail hour

4:05 pm: Pictures with B&G and both families, and bridal party

4:10 pm: Pictures of B&G

4:30 pm: B&G join guests for cocktails

5:10 pm: Everyone moves to the library for reception

5:15 pm: Prayer

5:17 pm: dinner (buffet style)

6:00 pm: toasts

6:15 pm: Cake cutting

6:20 pm: First Dance

6:25 pm: Father/Daughter Dance followed by dancing (with my crowed I don't expect much dancing)

7 pm: desert

8:15 pm: reception ends, bar closes

A good list of shots will help but this is likely to take longer than 5 minutes.  I wouldn't sweat the exact timing though.  I know you want to join your guests for cocktails, but bear in mind that it may take longer than you expected and may not happen by 4:30. 

I think this looks great overall and you are being respectful of everyone's time, so I see no issues here!  Enjoy your big day!

PrettyGirlLost

cowgirl8238 said:

show previous quotes

Midwest2Texas said:

Ok, hopefully this is the last revision I need to make:

11 am: Arrive at venue with mom & MOH for hair and makeup (snacks/lunch provided)- 1 stylist, 3 hairstyles

1:30 pm: pictures with Groom/Groom's family and BM 

2 pm: pictures with Bride/Bride's family and MOH (includes getting ready)

3 pm: Ceremony music

3:30 pm: processional and ceremony

3:50 pm: ceremony ends; receiving line into cocktail hour

4:05 pm: Pictures with B&G and both families, and bridal party

4:10 pm: Pictures of B&G

4:30 pm: B&G join guests for cocktails

5:10 pm: Everyone moves to the library for reception

5:15 pm: Prayer

5:17 pm: dinner (buffet style)

6:00 pm: toasts

6:15 pm: Cake cutting

6:20 pm: First Dance

6:25 pm: Father/Daughter Dance followed by dancing (with my crowed I don't expect much dancing)

7 pm: desert

8:15 pm: reception ends, bar closes

A good list of shots will help but this is likely to take longer than 5 minutes.  I wouldn't sweat the exact timing though.  I know you want to join your guests for cocktails, but bear in mind that it may take longer than you expected and may not happen by 4:30. 

I think this looks great overall and you are being respectful of everyone's time, so I see no issues here!  Enjoy your big day!

Yeah, you really need to give yourself at least 30mins-45mins for your post ceremony shots.  These are the pictures of you and your groom now that you are husband and wife!  Don't rush those just because you don't want to miss the apps at cocktail hour.  The whole point of cocktail hour is so that you can take those pictures.

Have your caterer save a platter of the apps for the WP so that you can have them once you arrive at the reception, and definitely have a shot list for after the ceremony, but again, give yourselves more time to take those photos. . . you're spending 1.5 hours on the pre ceremony shots, and the majority of those photos you aren't going to frame and display.