So my cousin and his fiancee got engaged in January. I talked to her a couple of times in the past couple of years that I've known her. In early February she told me that she wanted me to be at her bachelorette party in AC.
In April I went to go visit them in Philly, I live in CA. She said I could help them plan the wedding since I'm really organized and detail-oriented. I was so excited! Then on the 3rd day I was there, we were getting ready to go out to lunch with her future in laws in their room and I told her how excited I was about her bachelorette party. She told me that she was concerned about having me there because I don't drink. I tried explaining to her that in the past, then it was almost 4 years, that I've been to bars and concerts where alcohol is everywhere and that I would be okay. Then she uninvited me because I don't drink.
I was really upset and the rest of the time there was really awkward. Flash forward to last week. We have been in contact via texting and since I visited in April, she wants me to be a part of the wedding. I was not asked to be a bridesmaid but she wants me to have a "special job."
Last week, she called and asked if I wanted to pass out programs/fans. I got insulted because as being a part of my cousin's family, I thought that job is meant for people working the wedding who are getting paid. After talking about it with my therapist, she agreed. I texted Ashley* saying that I just want to be a guest and not have any stress. She came back with an "Oh I didn't realize passing out fans would be stressful for you. Is there anything else you would like to be a part of?"
I honestly thought that by saying that I just want to be a guest with no stress would end it. Then she suggests helping with the rehearsal dinner that my aunt and uncle are hosting. I looked up "jobs" at wedding and suggested to her of being a witness to the signing of the marriage certificate but she already has someone doing that.
I'm at a loss of words and sanity of what to do. Just thinking of "needing" to have a "job" at their wedding is stressing me out and I'm across the country. I'm practicing restraint of fingers and tongue as best I can but I could really use some advice.
Sorry it's so long!