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Wedding Woes

Vent

I couldn't find the old vent thread, so I'm starting a new one.

We're trying to conceive. My period is 8 days late. I've never been late before. I'm not pregnant. I thought the worst* thing each month while TTC was GETTING your period. I was wrong. Now I'm in some kind of weird limbo.

*Disclaimer: I know there are worse things than not getting pregnant. I meant for this specific scenario.

Vent away.
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MissKittyDangerDrillSergeantCatsparklepants41
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Re: Vent

  • I'm sick, but not sick enough to stay in bed. So I pretty much feel bad but still feeling guilty about not doing things. 
    MissKittyDangerdrglitterOurWildKingdom
  • I'm at work and M is at home. That's my vent.

    However ... I will be back tomorrow if M leaves the house a damn mess. It will be a vent plus admitting to murdering him .... please hope for his safety that he cleans.
    <a href="https://babysizer.com/geeky"><img src="https://babysizer.com/geeky-2018-06-08.jpg" alt="Babysizer Geeky Pregnancy Tracker"></a>
    drglittershort+sassydridcowgirl8238
  • thefanciestbecklerthefanciestbeckler Chattanooga, TN member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    As many of you know, my job totally sucks and my boss is a huge sketchball. He is also a MAJOR micromanager, which I hate more than anything. My teammate is on vacation this week, so my visits from him wanting to know what I'm working on have doubled. I also came into work to post-it notes on my desk letting me know how to prioritize all I have to do today. OMG.

    drglitter
  • As many of you know, my job totally sucks and my boss is a huge sketchball. He is also a MAJOR micromanager, which I hate more than anything. My teammate is on vacation this week, so my visits from him wanting to know what I'm working on have doubled. I also came into work to post-it notes on my desk letting me know how to prioritize all I have to do today. OMG.
    He wanted to make sure you knew what you were doing .... so he had to man-splain it to you. /sarcasm

    Omg this guy though ...
    <a href="https://babysizer.com/geeky"><img src="https://babysizer.com/geeky-2018-06-08.jpg" alt="Babysizer Geeky Pregnancy Tracker"></a>
  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom South Jersey member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    Drglitter - One thing that helped me was starting to temp.  It will tell you when you ovulated, at the very least, so you can at least know when to expect your period.  You have probably ovulated much later than usual to do some unknown reason.  Stress of the holidays maybe?

    I used an app to track my temp every day and that helped to see a pattern.  I have very long cycles that were not consistent, so at least knowing I ovulated was a bonus to me.  If your app can begin to see your pattern, it can also tell you when to try. 

    DrillSergeantCatdrglitter
  • I have temped which helped when I used an app.   I use natural family planning as a way to avoid so I'm now doing the same thing except avoiding sex when it can lead to a baby.   I found that the Clear Blue Easy fertility monitor is also great.   I paid $100 for the old version and I get test strips for about $29 for a box of 30 on Amazon and one box usually lasts for about 3 months.   (I pee in a cup and dip - find it more reliable) and it "catches" my peak.

    I have found that during stressful times, I can ovulate early or late and that can throw off cycles.   But the monitor tells me when I've hit peak and then I know how many more days I need to avoid.   For you, it would be the optimal time to try.

    Also, as gross as this may sound, if you are fairly regular then pay attention to cervical mucous changes throughout the month.    

    In the meantime, if you're stressed a glass of wine is fine.   Even if you're pregnant. 
    drglitterOliveOilsMomsparklepants41
  • Perfect day for a vent thread.  Sorry this is long!

    As I've mentioned before, my job is tenuous at best.  The last rumor I heard was we were all going to be laid off by the end of the year.  At least now, it looks like we all might have a little longer.  There is even a glimmer of hope our project will be pulled out of the fire.  Doesn't change the fact that it wouldn't surprise me to be laid off at any time.

    That's a long way to say, I've been trying to be as useful as possible, lol.  I briefly worked in the Doc Ctrl. earlier in the year.  Two people were laid off in that dept. this month and the big boss asked me to help out where I could.

    Unfortunately, the manager and I in that dept. do not get along.  She's not a bad person, we don't dislike each other.  But she is high strung and impatient, which is difficult for me.

    So, today, I took the initiative and started working on my first DC transmittal since June.  I guess she saw in the database that I was working on it.  She comes into my office, really upset, because I should have talked to her/checked with her that I was going to do that work.  This isn't the first time something like this has happened.

    I mean, I'm told to help and then get reamed for it.  Seriously, I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't!

    And, in the meantime, I'm torn.  I want to charge some of my hours to DC, because I think that is a good "survival" tactic.  And I do have a few regular tasks I do for them, but those amount to 5 hours/week, at best.  But I always feel like I'm walking on eggshells with her and that my help isn't wanted, outside of those little tasks.

    My plan going forward is to keep doing my little tasks and periodically check in with her to see if there is "anything I can help with", but no more doing DC work unless I've explicitly been asked.  Not really my style.  I work best independently and just taking care of stuff as it comes in.  Yet again, I will do my best to adapt, lol.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    drglitterOliveOilsMom
  • DrillSergeantCatDrillSergeantCat Oklahoma City, OK member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    @short+sassy micromanagers are the worst. Just go sit down and let me do my damn job! I had a boss once ask me to hang a sign in one of the fitness rooms but she felt like she needed to give me step-by-step instructions. It took her longer to tell me all those steps than it did for me to actually hang the sign. I mean, it's tape and a wall how bad can I mess it up?
    short+sassyOliveOilsMomcowgirl8238
  • Thanks ladies. I tried temping this month, but either I'm terrible at it or my thermometer was awful. If my period ever starts, I'll try again.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • I honestly feel for all of those who have horrible bosses :( I was there for many a time - not to same degree as others - but if I could send mine to you, I would. My current boss is actually one of my favourite people. She micromanages but also is encouraging. I've never had a boss tell me things I'm doing wrong, but in a way that it feels like she's also showing me how to be a better person.
    Constructive criticism basically. I'm also really hard on myself and emotional, so I cried in a meeting before. She felt awful, but understands who I am as a person.

    Side note .... can I just hug everyone having a bad day :(
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    short+sassydrglitter
  • @drglitter, good luck TTCing!

    @thefanciestbeckler, you do have great boss stories.  Not a good thing, lol!  Too bad he isn't the one on vacation this week.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    thefanciestbecklerdrglitter
  • OurWildKingdomOurWildKingdom in the 216 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    I'm sick, but not sick enough to stay in bed. So I pretty much feel bad but still feeling guilty about not doing things. 
    I can relate. I'm at work and barely functioning. I probably should be home in bed.
    charlotte989875
  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom South Jersey member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    @Lyndausvi I don't really understand how you insulted her?  You made a comment that other people have been planning a party for just as long!  That is more of a fact than an insult!  The GM's response about your DH did make me LOL though!

    I can get her disappointment in not getting the room she thought she would, but to be pissed about it???  That's just odd and snotty of her!  Sometimes the richest people can be the biggest pains in the butts!  Sorry you had to deal with her!

    @drglitter temping can take a bit to get used to.  I've also heard that mouth breathers don't have the best morning temps, if that's what you do.  What I've read will advise a vaginal temping each day if you are a mouth breather.  So I would just start getting used to temping in any way right now.  Also you purchased the right kind of thermometer, right?  It has to be a basal body temp thermometer.  I got mine for $10 at CVS.

    drglitter
  • I'm sick, but not sick enough to stay in bed. So I pretty much feel bad but still feeling guilty about not doing things. 
    I can relate. I'm at work and barely functioning. I probably should be home in bed.
    Feel better!
  • OurWildKingdomOurWildKingdom in the 216 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers First Anniversary
    I'm sick, but not sick enough to stay in bed. So I pretty much feel bad but still feeling guilty about not doing things. 
    I can relate. I'm at work and barely functioning. I probably should be home in bed.
    Feel better!
    You too!
  • lyndausvi said:
    kind-of long.

    I apparently insulted a new member last night.  

    Backstory - as most of you know I work at a high end club.  In order to balance the needs of ALL members in the summer we do not allow parties larger than 8 people on the main outside veranda.  You have to go to the lower veranda or the flagstones.   In the winter, you can not have parties larger than 8 in the wine room, 12 in the main dining room or 14 in the private dining room.  All parties over 14 must go to the library or great room.      

    Also, in order to get 1 table of 18 we need banquet tables or to combine regular tables.  We are WAY too busy to combine a bunch of smaller regular tables to make one large table.  Plus it takes up too much room. I also can't put a table of 4 on a large banquet table.  I need the smaller tables for the smaller groups.  


    So we have a new member who is having a dinner for 18 people to celebrate her parents 60th anniversary and someone's 80th on Friday.  They stopped by to check out where their party would be.  They got PISSED it was going to be in the library.   They wanted the main dining room.  I tried to explain that we can not accommodate large parties in the main dining room.   She went on and on about how she had been planing this for 2 months.   I said I understand that, but other members have been also planning events for just as long. That is when I insulted her and her husband yelled at me for insulting his wife.

     In order to balance the needs of ALL members this is our policy.   Our members pay a shit ton of money to be a member and are not happy being told they can't eat dinner because another member is hosting a party with a bunch of non-members.  Especially during a week like xmas-nye.  

     Don't get me wrong, we happily host larger parties.  We had a party of 17 and a party of 16 last night in the same room these members are getting.  Tonight a member is hosting 32 people.  Tomorrow another member has some 24 people.  On Friday there is new member above and another member hosting some 16 people also.   None of the other members are allowed these parties in the main dining room either. Some of them are not just members, but they are actual owners of the club who sit on the board.   

    Apparently the old F&B director who was basically fired told them they could have the main dining room.  Well there is a reason he was let go. He didn't even last 7 months and never went through a Xmas-NYE week.   What doesn't help is the husband DID have a party of 16 in the same spot they want in September.  The difference is between June and September the dining room is COMPLETELY empty because everyone sits outside.   Only 1 old couple from Houston sits inside.  That is is. Otherwise it's a empty space we walk through.  Having a party of 16 in the main dining room is a non-issue since it's not used that time of year.  The winter, specifically xmas-nye is different story.


    I told my GM what happened.  He is so  awesome.  First he was like I know you didn't set out to insult someone, it will be okay.  Then he said "Do they know your husband has the ability to mess with their food?".    Kidding of course.  My husband would never do something like that.  It's just cool he has our back.  DH is going to offer them some free food, but sitting in the main dining room is NOT an option.  It's can of worms we will not open.  Once we do we will have a life time of headaches.
    I have to giggle a bit at the "problem" it is to eat in another room.    The food must taste different there!
    lyndausviOurWildKingdomSP29cowgirl8238
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2016

    @Lyndausvi I don't really understand how you insulted her?  You made a comment that other people have been planning a party for just as long!  That is more of a fact than an insult!  The GM's response about your DH did make me LOL though!

    I can get her disappointment in not getting the room she thought she would, but to be pissed about it???  That's just odd and snotty of her!  Sometimes the richest people can be the biggest pains in the butts!  Sorry you had to deal with her!

    @drglitter temping can take a bit to get used to.  I've also heard that mouth breathers don't have the best morning temps, if that's what you do.  What I've read will advise a vaginal temping each day if you are a mouth breather.  So I would just start getting used to temping in any way right now.  Also you purchased the right kind of thermometer, right?  It has to be a basal body temp thermometer.  I got mine for $10 at CVS.

    I find it funny that people would prefer to have a 60th anniversary/80th birthday party in a loud room with 80 other guests, than in a smaller more intimate room with maybe 20-30 other people.   A lot of older people have a hard enough time hearing, let alone in a larger room with tons of other people around sitting at one large 18 person table.  The library is a much better place for such an event.  It's pretty in there.  Quieter, more intimate.     

    Her big thing is she didn't know there was a pool table in that room.  Which was open last night when she walked through.   Starting tonight or tomorrow we close it off.  We put boards down, cover it with a nice tablecloth and add center pieces.  It looks just like a big table (we actually use it for a table in NYE.)  She just didn't want to hear that.

    As far as insulting her.  We see it on here.  People get so caught up on planning their event they forget other people also have their own plans.   So far this week we have had 6 birthdays (some milestone) and 3 50th,  1 40th anniversary celebrations and it's only Wednesday.  

    It stings when you find out your party isn't the only game in town.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
    DrillSergeantCatOliveOilsMomSP29
  • @Lyndausvi I don't really understand how you insulted her?  You made a comment that other people have been planning a party for just as long!  That is more of a fact than an insult!  The GM's response about your DH did make me LOL though!

    I can get her disappointment in not getting the room she thought she would, but to be pissed about it???  That's just odd and snotty of her!  Sometimes the richest people can be the biggest pains in the butts!  Sorry you had to deal with her!

    @drglitter temping can take a bit to get used to.  I've also heard that mouth breathers don't have the best morning temps, if that's what you do.  What I've read will advise a vaginal temping each day if you are a mouth breather.  So I would just start getting used to temping in any way right now.  Also you purchased the right kind of thermometer, right?  It has to be a basal body temp thermometer.  I got mine for $10 at CVS.

    Yup. Thank you. And I was temping orally, and I'm a mouth breather, so I plan on changing the way I temp too.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    OliveOilsMom
  • bleve0821bleve0821 The Shire member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    My vent today is DH's aversion to potatoes.  He says "it's the texture" he doesn't like, but it's simply just potatoes in any form.  I know, I know... I am fully capable of making any kind of potato dish I want, whenever I want, "weird texture" be damned... but it's really discouraging to prepare a deliciously steaming meal of, say, beef stew and glance over to find DH has shoved all the potatoes off to one side.  Potatoes have always been a staple of my diet, and it's hard adapting my favorite recipes to something DH will want to eat, too.  And if I want some kind of potato side dish, I have this irrational compunction to also make DH some kind of "H approved" dish, which is extra effort.

    I just wish he'd eat them....  I'm tired of yams.


    "And when they use our atoms to make new lives, they won’t just be able to take one, they’ll have to take two, one of you and one of me..."
    --Philip Pullman

    drglitterOliveOilsMomspockforprez
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its

    @OliveOilsMom

    I forgot to touch on them being rich.

    Most of our members are amazing.   They respect us.  They understand needing to balance the needs of ALL members.  They give us hugs, xmas presents, ask us how WE are doing.  They take us out to dinner, go on hikes or bike rides. Even offered to fly DH on their private plane when his mom had the stroke.  They are really nice, sweet, respectful people.    

    The "problem" people tend to be the younger members. New younger wives/GFs are by far the worse.  The sense of entitlement is over-the-top.  

    The older members (50 or older) are on average, much nicer, respectful to the staff.  They are the reason we have such policies of no large parties in the main dining room.   They think ALL members should have the ability to eat dinner during this week.  Not one member deciding to take up the dining room for a private party.   You want a private party, then you have to use another room.  You get your party and 120+ other people gets to eat here too.  Seems fair.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
    OliveOilsMomshort+sassyILoveBeachMusiccowgirl8238
  • CharmedPamCharmedPam Chicagoburbs member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    My vent today is DH's aversion to potatoes.  He says "it's the texture" he doesn't like, but it's simply just potatoes in any form.  I know, I know... I am fully capable of making any kind of potato dish I want, whenever I want, "weird texture" be damned... but it's really discouraging to prepare a deliciously steaming meal of, say, beef stew and glance over to find DH has shoved all the potatoes off to one side.  Potatoes have always been a staple of my diet, and it's hard adapting my favorite recipes to something DH will want to eat, too.  And if I want some kind of potato side dish, I have this irrational compunction to also make DH some kind of "H approved" dish, which is extra effort.

    I just wish he'd eat them....  I'm tired of yams.
    I don't comprehend.   Potatoes are my go to!  what about fries?  

    DrillSergeantCat
  • bleve0821bleve0821 The Shire member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    My vent today is DH's aversion to potatoes.  He says "it's the texture" he doesn't like, but it's simply just potatoes in any form.  I know, I know... I am fully capable of making any kind of potato dish I want, whenever I want, "weird texture" be damned... but it's really discouraging to prepare a deliciously steaming meal of, say, beef stew and glance over to find DH has shoved all the potatoes off to one side.  Potatoes have always been a staple of my diet, and it's hard adapting my favorite recipes to something DH will want to eat, too.  And if I want some kind of potato side dish, I have this irrational compunction to also make DH some kind of "H approved" dish, which is extra effort.

    I just wish he'd eat them....  I'm tired of yams.
    I don't comprehend.   Potatoes are my go to!  what about fries?  
    Not even chips.  The UK OR American kind.


    "And when they use our atoms to make new lives, they won’t just be able to take one, they’ll have to take two, one of you and one of me..."
    --Philip Pullman

  • My vent today is DH's aversion to potatoes.  He says "it's the texture" he doesn't like, but it's simply just potatoes in any form.  I know, I know... I am fully capable of making any kind of potato dish I want, whenever I want, "weird texture" be damned... but it's really discouraging to prepare a deliciously steaming meal of, say, beef stew and glance over to find DH has shoved all the potatoes off to one side.  Potatoes have always been a staple of my diet, and it's hard adapting my favorite recipes to something DH will want to eat, too.  And if I want some kind of potato side dish, I have this irrational compunction to also make DH some kind of "H approved" dish, which is extra effort.

    I just wish he'd eat them....  I'm tired of yams.
    M has same issue with eggs. He can eat them in things - pancakes/french toast closest he'll eat them. He likes smell and can cook them perfectly {I'm picky with scrambled eggs ...} but hates texture.
    <a href="https://babysizer.com/geeky"><img src="https://babysizer.com/geeky-2018-06-08.jpg" alt="Babysizer Geeky Pregnancy Tracker"></a>
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2016
    My vent today is DH's aversion to potatoes.  He says "it's the texture" he doesn't like, but it's simply just potatoes in any form.  I know, I know... I am fully capable of making any kind of potato dish I want, whenever I want, "weird texture" be damned... but it's really discouraging to prepare a deliciously steaming meal of, say, beef stew and glance over to find DH has shoved all the potatoes off to one side.  Potatoes have always been a staple of my diet, and it's hard adapting my favorite recipes to something DH will want to eat, too.  And if I want some kind of potato side dish, I have this irrational compunction to also make DH some kind of "H approved" dish, which is extra effort.

    I just wish he'd eat them....  I'm tired of yams.
    I can't comprehend!  I grew up on potatoes.   Mashed, boiled, fried, baked, au gratin, yummy.  Oddly, I'm not a fan of tater tots or hash browns. Ha.

    On another note, DH and I often eat different foods for dinner.  We just have different tastes.   It's not a big deal for either of us.  

     As far as him pushing potatoes to the side?   I would be thinking "yay,  more taters for me!"  Or just cut down the amount you put in knowing he will not eat them anyway.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • bleve0821bleve0821 The Shire member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    kaos16 said:
    My vent today is DH's aversion to potatoes.  He says "it's the texture" he doesn't like, but it's simply just potatoes in any form.  I know, I know... I am fully capable of making any kind of potato dish I want, whenever I want, "weird texture" be damned... but it's really discouraging to prepare a deliciously steaming meal of, say, beef stew and glance over to find DH has shoved all the potatoes off to one side.  Potatoes have always been a staple of my diet, and it's hard adapting my favorite recipes to something DH will want to eat, too.  And if I want some kind of potato side dish, I have this irrational compunction to also make DH some kind of "H approved" dish, which is extra effort.

    I just wish he'd eat them....  I'm tired of yams.
    I don't comprehend.   Potatoes are my go to!  what about fries?  
    Not even chips.  The UK OR American kind.

    you knew this and still married him?!
    I thought I could make him see the light.

    lyndausvi said:

     As far as him pushing potatoes to the side?   I would be thinking "yeah,  more taters for me!"  Or just cut down the amount you put in knowing he will not eat them anyway.
    This is, rationally, my first and most excited thought, but I always still have that pouty feeling when he refuses to eat them.  Haha, he probably has the same feeling when he sees potatoes in with his meat.


    "And when they use our atoms to make new lives, they won’t just be able to take one, they’ll have to take two, one of you and one of me..."
    --Philip Pullman

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