dlt thread

CMGragain

Five days before my daughter's wedding, her MOH called her and asked if she could bring her new S/O.  They had been together one week.  I said, "Sure.  Fine!"
Five years later they are still together, and I expect they will be for a long time.  I am so glad I wasn't judgy about the new BF.
OP, learn from this.

cowgirl8238

[Deleted User] said:

 I think you're being a little rough about me calling her a whore. I never called her a whore. Now you're putting words in my mouth.

We only called her a brat after she began having a clear meltdown (any normal person would move on with their lives and figure, hey, maybe they are on a budget, atleast I would!) about us deciding that we didn't want an extra person at our wedding, especially someone we've never met. She did meet this guy a while after the invitations were sent neither of us KNEW this guy was in her life until the end of December beginning of January. Yes, they were sent early, but I confirmed with my wedding planner if this was okay, she said absolutely, since we have OOT and OOC guests.

I wanted to paint a picture of his sister, and maybe I was being rude about it and a little unfair, but this isn't something I've made up or exaggerated. For that I am ashamed. His whole family knows how she is. I've spoken with my FI last night about the whole situation and it was decided to let this poor guy come anyways, since it's just one person and I have nothing against him in particular.  Yes, I took the advice to free up the drama and not make us look like the people to blame at the wedding.

The ill feelings were toward the sister and it stems from the way she has treated us in the past (stolen from us and family, lied to both) and their constant forgiving and her never learning from her mistakes. My FI figured to take a stand and not let her get what she wanted. It was his original decision to do so, but last night I talked to him and we changed course to not stoop down to her level. 

A message to OP even though she is gone!

OP, I am sorry that you feel so negatively about your FSIL.  In reading through your posts I did notice a few things...you say she started dating in December and that your invites had already gone out.  While this is a tad early for an end of February wedding, I understand why you did it and I wouldn't fault your "over-sight" too harshly.  However the correct answer should have been, "Oh I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to exclude your BF, of course he is invited."

Also you mentioned above (and I believe once before but I didn't feel like digging) that your FSIL has stolen from you/FI and other family members.  I do believe some people on these boards would consider this a reason to not invite someone.  So again, I can relate to why you might have some hesitation about including her and her BF.

However...your overall attitude is not only negative but very judgmental.  You used some harsh words and descriptions in painting us a picture of her life choices.  This is what rubbed so many of these people the wrong way.  You came across as "I'm better than her". 

I sincerely hope that you took the advice given and invited your FSIL and her BF.  This was not a hill worth dying on and certainly not a good way to start your life off with your ILs.  Your wedding may be over in a single day, but your relationship with your FI and his family will be for the rest of your lives.

holyguacamole79

drunkenwitch

Oh man! I totally missed a Ragret