Snarky Brides

What was your most stressful time as a BM?`

I wish I had come here before I was engaged....If I had known more about the etiquette, I'd have told her to cut this out.

I was a BM once in a wedding for my best friend. She picked out dresses on the internet and told us to buy them. They were from David's and they were $200. I actually had tried to tell her I couldn't be a BM because the finances just weren't there when she asked. She threw a tantrum and wouldn't speak to me for two weeks. Finally, she came around, and said she would pay for the half of the dress. (She never did). It was also not a flattering fit or color on me. Whatever. Not my day. On her wedding day she complained that the dresses didn't look the same on me and another bridesmaid (I'm 6', size 12, her friend is about 5' and a size 0). She had a pair of shoes picked out on modcloth (not cheap) for us to buy. They didn't have my size or close. I told her this, and I asked if I could wear flats in the same colors(I have bad ankles, also the whole bridal party was under 5'5''....I felt I would look ridiculous in heels). She said no, and said that I had to buy a specific pair of gray heels.
At one point, I realized no one had thrown her a bachelorette party. So, I took the time, effort and money to make a small one happen for her. THAT DAY, she texts me and says she's not coming because her fiancée thinks I'm a bad influence? (I'm about as much of a rule follower as you can get. Not a Rachel, I'm a Monica...later I found out from her husband that he had no idea what she was talking about....) So I wasted all that time and money. I was irked to say the least. She also one day before the wedding (during prom season) told me she wanted us all to have French manicures. Cue the frustration of finding all the stuff and doing it yourself. Come wedding day, things are going pretty well I think. She did have hair and makeup set up for us and was going to pay, but cancelled it. No big deal, I'm pretty good with my own hair and makeup. That morning, she tells me that she also cancelled her own hair and makeup, and asks me to do her and her daughter's hair! I panicked a little because that's a pretty big responsibility. Of course I wanted to make it perfect, but I don't have any experience in doing other people's hair. But I think she was grateful and happy with the results.
There's no way she could have controlled this, but it was May in Ohio and about a million and five degrees. In a barn. Without fans or a/c. Not comfortable at all. In fact, after the ceremony, I had to duck out of the receiving line because I was going to pass out, and I didn't want to cause a scene. She also had the wedding party set up all her food. Which in that weather was extremely difficult. Also, (my bad), I ended up spilling a little bit of salad dressing on the tablecloth. Her mother immediately yelled at me and said I ruined the whole wedding.
Overall, I was glad to have my friend's most important day with her (her first husband was a d-bag and this guy has a heart of gold), and I had a good time until I was told I ruined the wedding, but holy crap. I wish I had known more about how things worked and I could have helped her. Because that was stressful. I'd probably still do it again for her though.


Fast forward, she freaked out because my mom made my wedding shower a day she couldn't attend, and our friendship went downhill from there. -sigh-
«1

Re: What was your most stressful time as a BM?`

  • edited January 2017
    Why is this woman still in your life??
    InLoveInQueensSP29Knottie1463276970
  • DrillSergeantCatDrillSergeantCat Oklahoma City, OK member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    Your friend sounds like a dick. Everything that bridezilla pulled would have been enough for me to nope out.
    InLoveInQueens
  • Why is this woman still in your life??

    Oh she's not. At all.
    charlotte989875
  • Why is this woman still in your life??

    Oh she's not. At all.
    Did you ghost on her or did you have to tell her why you were no longer friends?
  • Why is this woman still in your life??

    Oh she's not. At all.
    Did you ghost on her or did you have to tell her why you were no longer friends?
    Much longer story to it that would take me literally all day, but I tried to talk to her once to make things right, she didn't want to hear any of it, then started bad mouthing me to FI, (who of course had none of that) and I had it from that point. She started saying things about me on fb, to that I deactivated my profile and she said that she would be "taking her leave." Haven't spoken to her since, though she did post a 7 minute facebook video about me I hear.
  • Much longer story to it that would take me literally all day, but I tried to talk to her once to make things right, she didn't want to hear any of it, then started bad mouthing me to FI, (who of course had none of that) and I had it from that point. She started saying things about me on fb, to that I deactivated my profile and she said that she would be "taking her leave." Haven't spoken to her since, though she did post a 7 minute facebook video about me I hear. 
    Ouch. Probably a good thing that you stopped talking to her. :)
  • Much longer story to it that would take me literally all day, but I tried to talk to her once to make things right, she didn't want to hear any of it, then started bad mouthing me to FI, (who of course had none of that) and I had it from that point. She started saying things about me on fb, to that I deactivated my profile and she said that she would be "taking her leave." Haven't spoken to her since, though she did post a 7 minute facebook video about me I hear. 
    Ouch. Probably a good thing that you stopped talking to her. :)

    Yes, I miss her a lot, and wish I could make things right, but sometimes friendships are just not healthy, doesn't matter if it's been since childhood.
  • lovesclimbinglovesclimbing Alaska member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited January 2017
    Wow!!!

    I have never had a stressful BM experience. I've been a MOH twice and a BM once. The brides never asked any of us to pay for hair and makeup or manicures (we all did our own), we were never asked to host various parties (although I always either offered to or offered to help), and we never even had to pay for our dresses!

    In one of them, I did have to pay for cowboy boots to wear. I still kind of sideeye that because they're not my thing and I rarely wear them, but I didn't have to pay for the dress or anything else and it's my sister so I let it slide. And I do wear them on occasion. 

    The only really stressful time was when I planned a shower for about four hours after my plane flight in!! So I was praying my flight wouldn't be delayed and then rushing to the store after arriving to get the last few things I needed. But that was totally on me and that was what worked with our schedules. 
    OurWildKingdomahoywedding
  • Wow!!!

    I have never had a stressful BM experience. I've been a MOH twice and a BM once. The brides never asked any of us to pay for hair and makeup or manicures (we all did our own), we were never asked to host various parties (although I always either offered to or offered to help), and we never even had to pay for our dresses!

    In one of them, I did have to pay for cowboy boots to wear. I still kind of sideeye that because they're not my thing and I rarely wear them, but I didn't have to pay for the dress or anything else and it's my sister so I let it slide. And I do wear them on occasion. 

    The only really stressful time was when I planned a shower for about four hours after my plane flight in!! So I was praying my flight wouldn't be delayed and then rushing to the store after arriving to get the last few things I needed. But that was totally on me and that was what worked with our schedules. 

    sounds like you have pretty good friends! I personally can't wait for the cowboy boot trend to go away forever. (They aren't cheap either!) Flying stresses me out! lol, you're a good friend!
    lovesclimbing
  • So, I've posted about this once before but I can always re-tell this trainwreck...

    I was a BM for an ex-friend last year.  She decided she wanted to have a 6-month engagement but barely had any money for the wedding that she wanted to have...it was...pretty bad. At first the planning was all e-approved, no major issues came up and she was asking me for some advice on how much things cost, how to cut back, etc...eventually I realized that what they wanted (about a 10K wedding) wasn't going to happen within their budget (2K).  I knew that the Bride would often complain about not having money and not being able to pay bills, so when #1 occurred I wasn't surprised...

    #1.  She approached my best friend/her BM and I, IN THE DRESSING ROOM at David's Bridal while we were trying on BM dresses to ask for money to help pay for her dress!!  I mean seriously?!?!  It was VERY awkward and made us feel really uncomfortable because we were literally half naked being asked to give her money to buy her wedding dress...I should have ran!  Oh how I wish I had run right then and there!!!!!

    #2.  She invited my friend and I to come over and hang out, then surprised us with cutting out her wedding invitations and stuffing envelopes...yeah she's pissing me off now, but I did agree to help (although I would have rather had known that was what she had planned)...too bad I already ordered my BM dress!

    #3.  Going in line with the lack of budget, she asked my DH if he would help her put together a playlist to play during the reception in the church basement.  At 4 months before the wedding they agreed that he would set up a playlist on his computer and plug it in at the venue...Tuesday before the wedding (which was that Saturday) she texts me to see if DH was still willing to make a list.  I rolled my eyes but DH is still willing, so they make the list.  DAY OF the wedding AFTER the ceremony, she wants him to announce WP introductions and become an MC for the reception?!?!  Promises payment in the form of...a case of beer.  We never received "payment".

    #4.  She gets mad at my friend for going to the wrong church and being 10 minutes late to the rehearsal.  It was an honest mistake.  Then after the rehearsal she waves goodbye and runs off with her sister and family...I invite my friend and her BF to dinner since it was now 6:30.  This wasn't just being Hangry, I was getting pissed now.  We both joked about not showing up for the wedding the next day...we should have followed through!

    #5.  THE BIG ONE!  She is getting ready with her sister/MOH in the Bridal Suite. My friend and I had been doing our makeup in the bathroom (she was in front of the only mirror) and were obviously in the room sitting on the couch as the bride tells her MOH, "I really only wanted to have you in the BP at first.  If I had known that [Groom] wasn't going to ask his other two friends I probably would have just had a MOH."  Then she looks at us and adds, "No Offense." - Well you can go F* yourself!!!!! - BM and I go downstairs visibly upset.  I desire to take my card (with a nice gift) out of the box but that would be a) a bit tacky on my part and b) impossible because others are there.  I tell DH what had happened and seriously considered walking out on her wedding.  I was SO DONE!!!!  He encourages me to just stick it out and then decide later if we will remain friends...I smile (as best I can) for photos and then sit at the corner table by the DJ equipment for the reception.

    #6.  She didn't even talk to us during her reception...whatever! I was already done at this point!

    #7.  No Thank you Cards/repayment for turning my DH into an unpaid MC/DJ for the reception...made no attempt to reconcile...closest thing was two months later via Facebook with "Hey I got a new number, haven't heard from you, what's up?".  When I didn't reply within two days (I was still working through my feelings and I really didn't want to have this whole conversation with her over FB) she want all GBCK and made this huge ranting post about toxic people and then unfriended me...life is much better now :)

    Whew, that was a longer post than I thought...but that, right there, is why I came back to the Knot after my wedding! No one should have to go through this again and if I can help prevent one person from being the victim of a Bridezilla, then I done good :)

    MandTFebruary62011short+sassy
  • SubwaylovesSubwayloves member
    100 Comments 100 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    edited January 2017
    I had quite a few issues with my "best friends" wedding. She didn't ask for budget for our dresses (chose one over $200). She told us she was going to pay for getting our hair and make up done because she was "requiring" it, and then the day of, when we were already at the salon to get our hair done, we found out she wasn't. Not her fault, but her MOH planned her bridal shower/bachelorette party without any input from the rest of us, and then told us how much we owed ($300). She had a shuttle to the hotel where the wedding party and family were staying after the wedding, which was nice, but the rooms were $250 a night. The bride refused to move the pictures and ceremony indoors even though it was raining outside. 

    My husband was also a groomsmen, and they placed an order for the tuxedos with no input about price, and these were $200 to rent. My H was also ASKED to plan the bachelor party "because the best man lives out of town." They replaced a groomsmen because one of the bridesmaids was dating him and broke up with him.

    Everything about their wedding screamed that they were more concerned about their "vision" than their friends and family. They also seemed to want the most expensive of everything, even if it wasn't any better than the cheaper option (my wedding probably cost about half theirs, and was just as nice in my opinion). We easily spent over $1500 on their wedding, and it was local to us. 

    Oh, and after the wedding I found out I was only a bridesmaids because my husband was a groomsman :)

    ETA: After reading other replies also remembered that we had to buy matching tank tops for the bachelorette party/getting ready morning of, and even though H and I were both in the wedding party and sat at the head table, we had to sit at opposite ends of table because OMG PICTURES, GROOMSMEN MUST SIT ON ONE SIDE AND BRIDESMAIDS ON THE OTHER!
    sassafras917
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    the only bad BM experience was my brother's wedding.  Even if I hadn't been a BM, it would have been stressful.

    First we had to wear green velvet dresses.  In AZ, in April.  Do you know how hot it can get in AZ in April?     

    They had a gap.   If that wasn't bad enough, we were summoned to the reception place 3 hours early for pictures.   Then after the pictures (45 mins or so), we were told we had to setup the reception room.  :open_mouth:

    We were all like "WTF?"   My dad was pissed. Mostly because he offered money to help with the reception and was shot down "because the bride's family pays for the receptions" (although they did agree for dad to pick up the bar).  My dad would have happily paid for staff to setup the reception.  Instead IN OUR ATTIRE we are moving tables, chairs, etc.     For unknown reasons they had the bartender show up at the same time as the guests.  So that meant my dad had to setup the bar.   Which he couldn't do fast enough for us. 

    The HT was too small, so we were crowded up on a stage.  Hoping not to fall off.   

    It was just a clusterfuck.


    Other than that, I've had very stress free BM experiences.   Most were OOT.  Never did the bride or other BMs had drama.  No one got mad because I couldn't attend some pre-wedding events.  No one get mad if I was unable to contribute to the shower.    While we always had matching dresses, nothing else was matching.  Our hair/makeup was either paid for or we had the option of not getting it done.   Sometimes we all gathered for a group shopping trip.  Other times I was just told what to buy.  NBD. 

    All the ones I was OOT BM my accommodations were taken care of.  Either by staying with the bride in a suite, bride's family picking up my hotel tab, staying at someone's home.   Food and transportation at the location mostly taken care of also.    Meaning I was always picked up at the airport and/or the hotel had a shuttle.  Meals were simple.  If I was staying at someone's home, they just made my breakfast.  Hotels were generally at places that had breakfast included.  Dinner was hosted event.   One time we got a GC to help with expenses.

    I've been pretty lucky.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
    Greenjinjo cowgirl8238short+sassy
  • Thankfully all the times I was a bridesmaid, it was a pretty typical and not horrid experience. I was kicked out of a bridal party though, and you're not kidding when you say it's a friendship ending move, I haven't spoken to her since. We had been friends since kindergarten, I introduced her and her FI, and she asked me to be a bridesmaid immediately after getting engaged. It was a two year engagement and 6 months in I was given the boot for not "asking her more often how I could help with the wedding." I had just called off my own engagement due to a cheating FI, I was finishing my 3rd year of law school, and getting ready to move to a new state and take the bar exam so maybe I wasn't being the "best friend ever" but it was definitely uncalled for. She also needed a spot to open up so her soon-to-be SIL could be a bridesmaid, even sides are important you know! She invited myself and my parents to the wedding but we did not attend. 
    knottiejInLoveInQueensshort+sassy
  • I had an experience similar to @Lulawife where I was asked to be a BM shortly after my then-friend got engaged. Time went by and I didn't hear much from her about the wedding, so when it was about 6 months out I asked about the BM dresses and did she plan on setting up a time to go shopping. It was then that she told me she'd changed her mind and wasn't going to have me as a BM.

    I don't know if her plan was just to never mention being a BM again and I would get the hint that I was out or what. She later asked me to take on a wedding "job" as an honor, but I declined and was out of that friendship.
    short+sassy
  • Notice how most of these bad experiences are with people who are no longer friends? Hmm.... wonder why?

    My worst one was actually for a wedding where I was NOT a BM. The MOH went around pan handling for money to "host" the bachelorette, which was going to be WAY over the top yet super cliche. She also wanted everyone to wear (and pay for) matching tank tops. She wanted everyone else to split the cost of the bride's expenses "because she had student loans". She demanded a certain type of gift (lingerie) for some game, so basically not just blatantly asked people to bring gifts, but specified what people should buy. Oh and pre-gaming at her house was BYOB. Just overall WTF.
    *********************************************************************************

    image
  • These experiences I'm reading about got me like:



    My worst experience wasn't really that bad, just lots of typical "bride requests" that I find annoying. She chose a really expensive dress that ended up needing a lot of alterations, costing even more money. She was super militant about us all ordering from the same dye lot (which is annoying but not a huge deal, except I was working about 85 hours a week in a totally different state from everyone, and I just didn't the time to deal with it).

    I didn't know any of her other bridal party members (she is my stepsister who I like but am not close with), and she wanted us to spend the whole day getting ready with her. But, I'd traveled from out of state with my partner, whom I didn't want to leave alone all day knowing absolutely no one, and I also couldn't afford to get my hair and makeup done. So, I showed up in time for pictures. It was also one of those weddings where the BP has to sit at the head table without their dates.

    So, not a bad experience, but just... not great. 
    200.gif 768.9K
    short+sassy
  • OurWildKingdomOurWildKingdom in the 216 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    Wow! These stories are making me grateful that my worst BM experience was being sewn into my dress two hours before the wedding. My cousin, bless her heart, was set on a dress that only went up to a size 14. I was a size 18 at the time.
  • This didn't happen to me, but I have a whopper of a story of a bride with bigger cheek than an elephant! I have a friend from school who was in a wedding a few years ago. 2 weeks before the wedding the bride said she had an urgent thing she needed to talk to her about before the wedding as it was a situation that was affecting their friendship.

    She comes over to her house and says: 'you need to try to tone up your arms and lose a little weight. You don't want to be bloated and flabby in the photos. Here is a diet and some excercises that work for me.' She went on to pull out weights and demonstrate arm excercises because: 'friend will regret it forever having such massive bingo wings in the nice photos. I'm here because I care about you and want you to look great in the photos.  But it looks like you don't respect our friendship that you have gained so much weight before the wedding. Everyone knows Bridesmaids try to diet and tone before a wedding to look the best for the bride.'

    It was widely known my friend was 6 months pregnant at the time...
    OMG, I can't even!  If someone told me to lose weight for their wedding (or any reason really) I would tell them exactly where to put it and never look back.  The only people that can tell me how to eat are the medical professionals who are trained to keep people within healthy parameters!
  • This didn't happen to me, but I have a whopper of a story of a bride with bigger cheek than an elephant! I have a friend from school who was in a wedding a few years ago. 2 weeks before the wedding the bride said she had an urgent thing she needed to talk to her about before the wedding as it was a situation that was affecting their friendship.

    She comes over to her house and says: 'you need to try to tone up your arms and lose a little weight. You don't want to be bloated and flabby in the photos. Here is a diet and some excercises that work for me.' She went on to pull out weights and demonstrate arm excercises because: 'friend will regret it forever having such massive bingo wings in the nice photos. I'm here because I care about you and want you to look great in the photos.  But it looks like you don't respect our friendship that you have gained so much weight before the wedding. Everyone knows Bridesmaids try to diet and tone before a wedding to look the best for the bride.'

    It was widely known my friend was 6 months pregnant at the time...
    I can't even! Love the bolded, you Brits have such a way with words :)
    This is insane! I have one BM who started grad school and his been worried about gaining weight since her lifestyle has changed. And I'm like "Dude. French fries".
    OurWildKingdom


  • It was widely known my friend was 6 months pregnant at the time...
    Omg...oh my..!
  • @LondonLisa - *crickets* that. is. terrible.

    In some ways, it's kind of nice to have these milestone moments where you can be like "you know, I've always suspected you were a bitch, but now I have an opportunity to wash my hands of you completely. girl bye."

    Someone told me, "Weddings will either bring out the best in people....or the worst".
    MissKittyDangercowgirl8238
  • I had BM issues too.

    1. My BFF texts me to go wedding dress shopping a week before the day, knowing that I'm going on a cruise and will be sailing off that day.  She also was not engaged at the time (her now husband proposed that day after she dress shopped). She texted me the news as I was sailing away from port.

    2. She tells me that I am the MOH, but she's going to have her 16 year old sister actually called the MOH. In other words, she wanted me to perform all of the MOH duties because, "A 16 year old isn't really able to do all of that," without actually being the MOH.

    3. My job has a huge multiple year project going on, and I don't have a lot of free/off time. It's also crazy stressful. I tell her that, and then she was just like, "Oh, well, I guess I'll go without the shower and bachelorette party." I felt guilty and tried to work around it.

    4. Whenever I tried to get a guest list for the bachelorette party, she'd direct me to her little sister, who didn't have anyone's addresses or phone numbers. I circled around for months trying to get all the information. They eventually told me to just send private messages to the bride's selected friends on Facebook.

    5. The little sister tries to drop a family dinner in my lap to plan and invite people for, with the bride saying that the bachelorette party will follow directly after - as if that ties the events together and makes them both my responsibility.

    She didn't want to spend any money, and her BP didn't either. So when I tried to plan her bachelorette party, she turned down every suggestion, and decided to just have it at her FI's apartment. Everyone had already bought their food at the dinner directly before it, and I got a cake and sparkling juice (she's Mormon and doesn't drink). We didn't actually witness the wedding itself, because Mormons get married in the temple, and only a few of her guests had gone through the purification ritual to allow them there. I am not Mormon, so I was not able to witness the ceremony. We all went to the Ward after and watched a reenactment of the ceremony.

    I'm glad I was able to be there for my BFF of over a decade, but I do feel slighted in that I was good enough to do work, setup, and such, but not for the title of MOH. I'm also sad I missed out on the bonding experiences of the dress shopping, and a lot of the prep "events" because they were during the day in the work week.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    short+sassy
  • I had BM issues too.

    1. My BFF texts me to go wedding dress shopping a week before the day, knowing that I'm going on a cruise and will be sailing off that day.  She also was not engaged at the time (her now husband proposed that day after she dress shopped). She texted me the news as I was sailing away from port.

    2. She tells me that I am the MOH, but she's going to have her 16 year old sister actually called the MOH. In other words, she wanted me to perform all of the MOH duties because, "A 16 year old isn't really able to do all of that," without actually being the MOH.

    3. My job has a huge multiple year project going on, and I don't have a lot of free/off time. It's also crazy stressful. I tell her that, and then she was just like, "Oh, well, I guess I'll go without the shower and bachelorette party." I felt guilty and tried to work around it.

    4. Whenever I tried to get a guest list for the bachelorette party, she'd direct me to her little sister, who didn't have anyone's addresses or phone numbers. I circled around for months trying to get all the information. They eventually told me to just send private messages to the bride's selected friends on Facebook.

    5. The little sister tries to drop a family dinner in my lap to plan and invite people for, with the bride saying that the bachelorette party will follow directly after - as if that ties the events together and makes them both my responsibility.

    She didn't want to spend any money, and her BP didn't either. So when I tried to plan her bachelorette party, she turned down every suggestion, and decided to just have it at her FI's apartment. Everyone had already bought their food at the dinner directly before it, and I got a cake and sparkling juice (she's Mormon and doesn't drink). We didn't actually witness the wedding itself, because Mormons get married in the temple, and only a few of her guests had gone through the purification ritual to allow them there. I am not Mormon, so I was not able to witness the ceremony. We all went to the Ward after and watched a reenactment of the ceremony.

    I'm glad I was able to be there for my BFF of over a decade, but I do feel slighted in that I was good enough to do work, setup, and such, but not for the title of MOH. I'm also sad I missed out on the bonding experiences of the dress shopping, and a lot of the prep "events" because they were during the day in the work week.


    I'm sorry, that sounds awful. Are you guys still friends?
  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 City By The Lake member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Wow to these stories.

    I've been in 5 bridal parties (two time MOH, three time BM). Guess what? All the brides were lovely. I co-hosted showers and bachelorettes because I wanted to. I got to have input on the dresses.

    My stressful experience was thanks to a fellow BM in one of those weddings. What a manipulative bitch! 1) She didn't think the shower location (the shower that MOB was hosting) was "good enough" for the bride, even though what she wanted was well outside the price range for any of us. 2) As a result of that kerfluffle, she told the bride the MOH was being a huge bitch. Bride called me to verify the story and I debunked everything BM said about the MOH. 3) She tried to take over the bachelorette too but the rest of us were having none of it. Basically it was about spending our money because "the bride deserves it guys... she deserves the best!" Found out later the bride thought what we did do for her was already too generous and she would have been totally uncomfortable with what BM had tried to propose. 4) Found out later BM had expected to be the MOH. Little does she know the bride only asked her to be in the party at all because I actually thought her feelings would be really hurt if she wasn't included! (We'd been pretty tight in college, but after...) I should have kept my mouth shut. 

    One tiny other stressful experience- at a recent wedding, one of the groomsmen was a dude I'd had a fling with years earlier. The bride and groom had been together a really long time and had long ago tried to play matchmaker with us, and that failed. I was all, "Just please don't make me walk down the aisle with him!!" and spent the rest of the wedding just staying well out of his way. At least I can look back on that now and laugh. 
    ________________________________


  • KnotYetTiedKnotYetTied member
    10 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited January 2017

    I'm sorry, that sounds awful. Are you guys still friends?


    Yes, but not nearly as close as we were. I wouldn't blame our drifting apart on the wedding though. She was one of those who didn't have time for her friends once she met a guy. Every outing I had with her while she was dating her husband also included him and his friends. She refused to be apart from him for even a simple girls' night.

    Her now husband dated her for a while, and she disappeared. Then he stopped talking to her, and she was back. He started talking to her again, and she disappeared again. He stops talking to her again. Same outcome. Finally, a third time he starts talking to her (it's now been a year since they started talking that first time). He freely admits to dating other people when he would just stop talking to her and perform his disappearing act. I tell her that she shouldn't be content to be his back up plan, easily dropped when he sees someone new he likes, and that she's better than that. She says she's going to give him one more chance. Less than a year later, they were married.

    A couple months after the wedding, I was visiting them in their apartment, and bff's husband proceeds to tell stories about how my bff begged for a key to the apartment when they were dating and nagged him constantly about an e-ring and proposal. He sounded pretty resentful, and she was embarrassed. Turns out he still wasn't set on her the third time he went back to her, but she was insistent he marry her and he caved.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • flantasticflantastic The Midwest member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    I'm sorry, that sounds awful. Are you guys still friends?


    Yes, but not nearly as close as we were. I wouldn't blame our drifting apart on the wedding though. She was one of those who didn't have time for her friends once she met a guy. Every outing I had with her while she was dating her husband also included him and his friends. She refused to be apart from him for even a simple girls' night.

    Her now husband dated her for a while, and she disappeared. Then he stopped talking to her, and she was back. He started talking to her again, and she disappeared again. He stops talking to her again. Same outcome. Finally, a third time he starts talking to her (it's now been a year since they started talking that first time). He freely admits to dating other people when he would just stop talking to her and perform his disappearing act. I tell her that she shouldn't be content to be his back up plan, easily dropped when he sees someone new he likes, and that she's better than that. She says she's going to give him one more chance. Less than a year later, they were married.

    A couple months after the wedding, I was visiting them in their apartment, and bff's husband proceeds to tell stories about how my bff begged for a key to the apartment when they were dating and nagged him constantly about an e-ring and proposal. He sounded pretty resentful, and she was embarrassed. Turns out he still wasn't set on her the third time he went back to her, but she was insistent he'd marry  her and he caved.

    That sounds like a recipe for a lasting marriage.
    KnotYetTiedcowgirl8238

  • I'm sorry, that sounds awful. Are you guys still friends?


    Yes, but not nearly as close as we were. I wouldn't blame our drifting apart on the wedding though. She was one of those who didn't have time for her friends once she met a guy. Every outing I had with her while she was dating her husband also included him and his friends. She refused to be apart from him for even a simple girls' night.

    Her now husband dated her for a while, and she disappeared. Then he stopped talking to her, and she was back. He started talking to her again, and she disappeared again. He stops talking to her again. Same outcome. Finally, a third time he starts talking to her (it's now been a year since they started talking that first time). He freely admits to dating other people when he would just stop talking to her and perform his disappearing act. I tell her that she shouldn't be content to be his back up plan, easily dropped when he sees someone new he likes, and that she's better than that. She says she's going to give him one more chance. Less than a year later, they were married.

    A couple months after the wedding, I was visiting them in their apartment, and bff's husband proceeds to tell stories about how my bff begged for a key to the apartment when they were dating and nagged him constantly about an e-ring and proposal. He sounded pretty resentful, and she was embarrassed. Turns out he still wasn't set on her the third time he went back to her, but she was insistent he'd marry  her and he caved.

    That sounds like a recipe for a lasting marriage.
    Oh man. I can't imagine having to convince someone why they should marry me...yikes.
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards