Today's 4th man: The broken boy who wants a family...now. After a week.

mrsconn23

Dear Prudence,
I met this man last week who ticks off all the boxes I would have on a checklist for a romantic partner. The unsettling part is that after two dates he said he was tired of casual relationships, and could see a serious relationship with me, so much so that he asked me to move in with him, and talked about kids. He mentioned his dysfunctional, broken family, and how that has made him resolve to be a committed partner and father. He’s a lovely person, but I can’t help thinking, is something wrong? Who makes up their mind about having children in two dates? I don’t remotely feel any of the feelings he claims to feel. I’m happy to work on a relationship, but this doesn’t seem like an organic or healthy way for things to develop. What do you think?

—Too Much, Too Soon?

bleve0821

TWO DATES?

Yikes.

Run.  Fast.

MissKittyDanger

M and I talked about the future pretty early on, and ended up living together after being together after 2 months {extenuating circumstances...} but this would be too early for me!

I think he wants a family to fill the hole that his family couldn't fill, and I don't think he's realizing what he's doing.

thefanciestbeckler

Yeah this is super weird. I've known and even dated guys like this before. LW should get out NOW.

charlotte989875

Block his number. 

cowgirl8238

Yeah, so I had a somewhat similar experience once.  I was "dating" a guy who asked me on the second date if I would consider converting to Judaism and getting married "someday".  I was 18 at the time and this freaked me the hell out.  That was the last time I saw him.

I think MissKitty has the same idea I do regarding his motives.

Heffalump

How many boxes did he tick on the crazy checklist?

I've heard of people who "knew" on the first or second date, but they had the good sense to keep that to themselves for a while.

I would either dump this guy, or start rubbing the lotion on the skin now.

short+sassy

Heffalump said:

How many boxes did he tick on the crazy checklist?

I've heard of people who "knew" on the first or second date, but they had the good sense to keep that to themselves for a while.

I would either dump this guy, or start rubbing the lotion on the skin now.

I could maybe see him as one of those people, but just doesn't have a filter or enough good sense to keep it to himself.

If she really likes him and he seems a good fit, other than that, I don't see any harm in having a "whoa, too fast" conversation with him and see where things go.  If he is respectful of her concern and tones it way down.

I once had a guy I was chatting with online, who I hadn't met yet, tell me he just knew I was the girl for him and was already picturing our wedding day.  It was a little freaky, but I decided to give him a chance and followed my (above) advice.  We did go out once, but despite my repeated warnings, he kept pushing for too much, too fast.  Though he at least dropped the marriage talk.  I finally had to cut the line and let that fishy back into the sea.  With that said, it was more a weird experience than a bad one.  It's just a shame he had to suffocate things before they started but, if he'd respected the pace I wanted to go at, maybe it would have led into something.

drunkenwitch