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40-Plus Brides
ambrok
member
Intro & where to start on The Knot forums
Hi all,
My fiancé & I are in our 40s, from the Midwest, been engaged since 2013 & looking forward to getting married on our shared birthday (he's just a year older : ) FH wanted to wait until he finished his degree, so that's why we've held off; but it's been so exciting the past few months to actually be planning - getting more-n-more excited for our wedding day & marriage : )
I'm coming here from another wedding website. Their forum was way to snarky for me & I just don't need that. Hoping to find some good convo & suggestions from The Knot : ) Any place I should start on here or suggestions for newbies?
Re: Intro & where to start on The Knot forums
On the other hand, we'll tell you when your ideas are great and to not freak out about not having calalillies, flimsy robes for your bridesmaids, even bridal parties, not having a wedding in a barn or a country club etc.
I am curious. Is there something in particular that people on another board disliked about your plans? We might not be able to agree with them either, but we wouldn't be nasty about it.
Hi CM...My first day on the other site, I got hammered by quite a few for 'reviving an old post'...it was 5 days when I posted to it. And that was my welcome to the site...LOL. Over the past few months, I just seen so many brides ask questions; but instead of commenting with a suggestion or answer, many times the commenters were spending more time feeling out if it was a cash bar/friendor/self catering involved. I prefer to have a few answers/suggestions (give explanation, if needed) & a bunch of people 'liking' a comment instead of having 80 people be really snarky/telling someone how wrong they are over-n-over again. Personally, we are not self catering & will have beer/soda available; but I just hated seeing it. At some point, you share your info & let it go...it's up to the bride to do as they wish at their wedding.
Just my thoughts...
But if someone has plans that aren't considerate of others, particularly their guests, they should hear about it. If someone isn't willing to do the basics to host guests properly, they should get married without guests. For instance, self-catering isn't necessarily bad, but it is a lot of work, and if anyone veers into taking care of that amount of work by a) not keeping things actually food-safe by the time guests eat or b) asking their guests to work, those plans aren't good.
People here won't necessarily try to seek out that information, but if it's mentioned or referenced in someone's post, they'll explain why it's poor planning. The occasional bride who doesn't just get defensive and is willing to listen to reason will appreciate the concern, because it's just that - concern that the bride doesn't turn her wedding into a disaster (socially or logistically) just because she didn't think an idea through or was more attached to a vision of her day than her concern for her friends and family.
It is the host's responsibility to see that everyone is treated with proper etiquette. That usually means a comfortable location, chair for each behind, plenty of food and drink provided by the host, no time gaps between ceremony and reception, and making sure that each guest is personally thanked for coming to the wedding. Unless you are planning something really weird, that about covers it.
Most of us are fine with things unless you mention cash bars, PPDs, or asking guests to provide their own food. You already know that is trouble anywhere. If we think a bride is planning to do this, we will do everything we can to talk her out of it so she doesn't have a train wreck wedding day.
My particular specialty seems to be wording wedding invitations. I am older, so I learned this when "ladies" were expected to grow up to be social dragons. Now I am one! My daughter laughs at me.
I hope you like it here.