• Images
  • Text
  • Find a Couple + Registry
GO
Etiquette

Are we accidentally B-listing?

ahoyweddingahoywedding member
1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
edited February 2017 in Etiquette
So we sent out all of our invites already (wedding in a month & a half). Since we sent them out, we've become close with two other couples who have recently-ish moved to town and become part of our circle of friends. I mentioned to FI the other day we should maybe invite them, but he was concerned that would be an etiquette no-no, since invites were already out and they would know they're getting an invite later than other people. I thought it would be ok since it's not like we said "ok, these 4 couples aren't coming so now we have more space." If it makes a difference, our final counts aren't due to the caterer until 3/18, and our RSVP deadline is 3/11. They're local, so no travel plans need to be made.

Is it rude to invite them now? 

(ETA: stupid punctuation)

Re: Are we accidentally B-listing?

  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I think that's fine and I don't consider that B listing. 

    ahoywedding
  • @charlotte989875 That's what I was thinking too. If our wedding was in, say, 6 months or something, they would be on the guest list. 

    Thanks ladies!
    Heffalumpcharlotte989875
  • I agree, in this situation I wouldn't think twice.  It's not as though you were waiting for someone else to decline.  Things changed, and you responded.  I think you're in the clear.
    ahoywedding
  • Ditto, you're fine.  As a guest, I wouldn't bat an eye, since your wedding isn't for another 6 weeks with rsvp in 4 weeks. 
    ahoyweddingcowgirl8238
  • STARMOON44STARMOON44 member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited February 2017
    In the last month you've somehow gotten so close you want to invite them? Really?  I don't think it's b listing but they won't have any way of knowing that. I would absolutely think a 6 week our invite is a b list. That's really late! I'd leave well enough alone. 
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    No, it doesn't sound like B-listing to me.  If you've become close to this couple I'd go ahead and invite them.
  • flantasticflantastic The Midwest member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    In the last month you've somehow gotten so close you want to invite them? Really?  I don't think it's b listing but they won't have any way of knowing that. I would absolutely think a 6 week our invite is a b list. That's really late! I'd leave well enough alone. 
    6 weeks out is not that late at all. So if I assumed a B-list, it'd be because I was looking to be offended.

    Anniversary

    charlotte989875Knottie737c32aade6d0ff7
  • In the last month you've somehow gotten so close you want to invite them? Really?  I don't think it's b listing but they won't have any way of knowing that. I would absolutely think a 6 week our invite is a b list. That's really late! I'd leave well enough alone. 
    6 weeks out is not that late at all. So if I assumed a B-list, it'd be because I was looking to be offended.
    Really? To me that's insanely late. I usually see 12, would fine 10 normal, 8 unremarkable but on the late end, and six would def be b-list territory. Maybe that's just me but maybe it's them too? After all you did know them when invites went out and decided not to include them at that stage. 
  • levioosalevioosa Southern California member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Correct me if I'm wrong, but don't we usually say invitations go out 6-12 weeks in advance? 


    image
    charlotte989875ernursejKnottie737c32aade6d0ff7
  • I also think it would be fine.  Especially since it sounds like the friendship has blossomed recently, ie since the invites went out.

    I was on the other end of a situation like this.  I worked for a small company at the time and was the only one working in the office.  Then they hired another office person.  We became fast friends.  Although we had worked together for 1-2 months before her wedding, she ended up inviting me about one week before.  I was really honored she had invited me and just took it as we hadn't known each other long, but had become friends in that timeframe.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    MesmrEweKnottie737c32aade6d0ff7
  • Just curious...when did you send out your wedding invitations?  They should be sent out no sooner than eight weeks prior to the wedding.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • @CMGragain We sent them about 10 weeks out (I can't remember exactly anymore, it may have been a week earlier). Most of our families are OOT so we wanted them to be out sooner rather than later. We kept the RSVP date a week before the caterer needs our final numbers though.
  • @CMGragain We sent them about 10 weeks out (I can't remember exactly anymore, it may have been a week earlier). Most of our families are OOT so we wanted them to be out sooner rather than later. We kept the RSVP date a week before the caterer needs our final numbers though.
    This isn't the end of the world, but it would have helped to send them later.  Over time the rules have changed.  40 years ago, the earliest you could send wedding invitations was six weeks!
    No problem with you adding some guests at this time.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • CMGragain said:
    Just curious...when did you send out your wedding invitations?  They should be sent out no sooner than eight weeks prior to the wedding.
    See, this is what I find funny between this and @STARMOON44's comment. The appropriate time frame for sending wedding invites is not something people are going to get "right" with everyone, so unless it's absurd (like 5 months or 3 weeks out) I'm not going to assume I was A- or B-listed. Even then I might not - people send stuff super early because they think it helps guests plan, or they pull it together quickly, or it got lost by the post office for a while, or they just plain don't know what they're doing. I'm only going to assume B-listing if I hear about other people receiving their invitation well before me.

    I received an invitation for a good friends wedding 3 weeks out.  I was really hurt and wondering why she possibly sent it so late.  Plus I live a plane's ride away from her, so a late invite like that made it impossible for me to attend.

    As it turns out, their wedding was pretty impromptu.  They got engaged and set the wedding date about a month later.  So, I wasn't B-listed, at least.  But, still couldn't be there because of the short notice.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    MesmrEweInLoveInQueensSP29
  • CMGragain said:
    Just curious...when did you send out your wedding invitations?  They should be sent out no sooner than eight weeks prior to the wedding.
    See, this is what I find funny between this and @STARMOON44's comment. The appropriate time frame for sending wedding invites is not something people are going to get "right" with everyone, so unless it's absurd (like 5 months or 3 weeks out) I'm not going to assume I was A- or B-listed. Even then I might not - people send stuff super early because they think it helps guests plan, or they pull it together quickly, or it got lost by the post office for a while, or they just plain don't know what they're doing. I'm only going to assume B-listing if I hear about other people receiving their invitation well before me.

    I received an invitation for a good friends wedding 3 weeks out.  I was really hurt and wondering why she possibly sent it so late.  Plus I live a plane's ride away from her, so a late invite like that made it impossible for me to attend.

    As it turns out, their wedding was pretty impromptu.  They got engaged and set the wedding date about a month later.  So, I wasn't B-listed, at least.  But, still couldn't be there because of the short notice.

    I got a phone invite a month before the wedding of a close friend in Vegas.  I wasn't able to travel at the time on that short notice, but was honored to have been invited.  

    OP - I don't consider this "B-listing" since it's an expansion of your social circle situation that's recent.  
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    short+sassy
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards