Community› Wedding Discussion Boards› Wedding Etiquette Forum
Wedding Etiquette Forum
New Discussion

Are we accidentally B-listing?

ahoyweddingahoywedding member
First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
edited February 2017 in Wedding Etiquette Forum
So we sent out all of our invites already (wedding in a month & a half). Since we sent them out, we've become close with two other couples who have recently-ish moved to town and become part of our circle of friends. I mentioned to FI the other day we should maybe invite them, but he was concerned that would be an etiquette no-no, since invites were already out and they would know they're getting an invite later than other people. I thought it would be ok since it's not like we said "ok, these 4 couples aren't coming so now we have more space." If it makes a difference, our final counts aren't due to the caterer until 3/18, and our RSVP deadline is 3/11. They're local, so no travel plans need to be made.

Is it rude to invite them now? 

(ETA: stupid punctuation)
Report Reply to Post

Re: Are we accidentally B-listing?

  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I think that's fine and I don't consider that B listing. 
    Report Reply
  • ahoyweddingahoywedding member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    @charlotte989875 That's what I was thinking too. If our wedding was in, say, 6 months or something, they would be on the guest list. 

    Thanks ladies!
    Report Reply
  • HeffalumpHeffalump member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    I agree, in this situation I wouldn't think twice.  It's not as though you were waiting for someone else to decline.  Things changed, and you responded.  I think you're in the clear.
    �
    Report Reply
  • ei34ei34 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Ditto, you're fine.  As a guest, I wouldn't bat an eye, since your wedding isn't for another 6 weeks with rsvp in 4 weeks. 
    Report Reply
  • STARMOON44STARMOON44 member
    First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited February 2017
    In the last month you've somehow gotten so close you want to invite them? Really?  I don't think it's b listing but they won't have any way of knowing that. I would absolutely think a 6 week our invite is a b list. That's really late! I'd leave well enough alone. 
    Report Reply
  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    No, it doesn't sound like B-listing to me.  If you've become close to this couple I'd go ahead and invite them.
    Report Reply
  • flantasticflantastic member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    STARMOON44 said:
    In the last month you've somehow gotten so close you want to invite them? Really?  I don't think it's b listing but they won't have any way of knowing that. I would absolutely think a 6 week our invite is a b list. That's really late! I'd leave well enough alone. 
    6 weeks out is not that late at all. So if I assumed a B-list, it'd be because I was looking to be offended.
    Report Reply
  • STARMOON44STARMOON44 member
    First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    flantastic said:
    STARMOON44 said:
    In the last month you've somehow gotten so close you want to invite them? Really?  I don't think it's b listing but they won't have any way of knowing that. I would absolutely think a 6 week our invite is a b list. That's really late! I'd leave well enough alone. 
    6 weeks out is not that late at all. So if I assumed a B-list, it'd be because I was looking to be offended.
    Really? To me that's insanely late. I usually see 12, would fine 10 normal, 8 unremarkable but on the late end, and six would def be b-list territory. Maybe that's just me but maybe it's them too? After all you did know them when invites went out and decided not to include them at that stage. 
    Report Reply
  • levioosalevioosa member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Correct me if I'm wrong, but don't we usually say invitations go out 6-12 weeks in advance? 


    image
    Report Reply
  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its

    I also think it would be fine.  Especially since it sounds like the friendship has blossomed recently, ie since the invites went out.

    I was on the other end of a situation like this.  I worked for a small company at the time and was the only one working in the office.  Then they hired another office person.  We became fast friends.  Although we had worked together for 1-2 months before her wedding, she ended up inviting me about one week before.  I was really honored she had invited me and just took it as we hadn't known each other long, but had become friends in that timeframe.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Just curious...when did you send out your wedding invitations?  They should be sent out no sooner than eight weeks prior to the wedding.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    Report Reply
  • ahoyweddingahoywedding member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    @CMGragain We sent them about 10 weeks out (I can't remember exactly anymore, it may have been a week earlier). Most of our families are OOT so we wanted them to be out sooner rather than later. We kept the RSVP date a week before the caterer needs our final numbers though.
    Report Reply
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    ahoywedding said:
    @CMGragain We sent them about 10 weeks out (I can't remember exactly anymore, it may have been a week earlier). Most of our families are OOT so we wanted them to be out sooner rather than later. We kept the RSVP date a week before the caterer needs our final numbers though.
    This isn't the end of the world, but it would have helped to send them later.  Over time the rules have changed.  40 years ago, the earliest you could send wedding invitations was six weeks!
    No problem with you adding some guests at this time.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    Report Reply
  • short+sassyshort+sassy member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    flantastic said:
    CMGragain said:
    Just curious...when did you send out your wedding invitations?  They should be sent out no sooner than eight weeks prior to the wedding.
    See, this is what I find funny between this and @STARMOON44's comment. The appropriate time frame for sending wedding invites is not something people are going to get "right" with everyone, so unless it's absurd (like 5 months or 3 weeks out) I'm not going to assume I was A- or B-listed. Even then I might not - people send stuff super early because they think it helps guests plan, or they pull it together quickly, or it got lost by the post office for a while, or they just plain don't know what they're doing. I'm only going to assume B-listing if I hear about other people receiving their invitation well before me.

    I received an invitation for a good friends wedding 3 weeks out.  I was really hurt and wondering why she possibly sent it so late.  Plus I live a plane's ride away from her, so a late invite like that made it impossible for me to attend.

    As it turns out, their wedding was pretty impromptu.  They got engaged and set the wedding date about a month later.  So, I wasn't B-listed, at least.  But, still couldn't be there because of the short notice.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    Report Reply
  • MesmrEweMesmrEwe member
    First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    short+sassy said:
    flantastic said:
    CMGragain said:
    Just curious...when did you send out your wedding invitations?  They should be sent out no sooner than eight weeks prior to the wedding.
    See, this is what I find funny between this and @STARMOON44's comment. The appropriate time frame for sending wedding invites is not something people are going to get "right" with everyone, so unless it's absurd (like 5 months or 3 weeks out) I'm not going to assume I was A- or B-listed. Even then I might not - people send stuff super early because they think it helps guests plan, or they pull it together quickly, or it got lost by the post office for a while, or they just plain don't know what they're doing. I'm only going to assume B-listing if I hear about other people receiving their invitation well before me.

    I received an invitation for a good friends wedding 3 weeks out.  I was really hurt and wondering why she possibly sent it so late.  Plus I live a plane's ride away from her, so a late invite like that made it impossible for me to attend.

    As it turns out, their wedding was pretty impromptu.  They got engaged and set the wedding date about a month later.  So, I wasn't B-listed, at least.  But, still couldn't be there because of the short notice.

    I got a phone invite a month before the wedding of a close friend in Vegas.  I wasn't able to travel at the time on that short notice, but was honored to have been invited.  

    OP - I don't consider this "B-listing" since it's an expansion of your social circle situation that's recent.  
    Report Reply
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards