Over on Reddit...

redoryx

in r/relationships

https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/5ven6z/me_33f_and_my_so_33m_with_our_friends_30s_mf_bffs/

Bride and groom blocks rooms at a hotel with a minimum stay that they are on the hook for if rooms go unbooked. Cheaper hotel options were also available. Friends book at fancy hotel then discover an AirBnB that's way cheaper so they go in with a bunch of other couples and cancel their hotel rooms and now Bride and Groom are on the hook for $700+

Now, granted, I'm not sure the etiquette of dealing with this after people cancel although someone in the comments has asked where the couple was financially if none of the rooms got booked and so far the bride hasn't yet addressed that question. 

That said, the comments. OMG the comments. Some people take the "You made the deal with the hotel, it sucks but it's on you" while others, well .... 

"Just wait till that entire group of people shows up without a gift. I really found out people's true colors when I got married. It was a shock!"

"Gifts are there to help offset the cost of the wedding. At the very minimum you should be giving a gift that's equivalent to the food + drinks cost. Someone close enough to you is inviting you to a moment that they're shelling out 5 figures for. And you can't even give a gift to cover the food/drink expenses? That's what is actually tacky. If you can't pay the price per person then give your seat up to someone who can spare $50-100/person."

"You eat the food, drink the drinks. Gifts are expected."

"In your thank you notes, make sure to thank them each for the -$400 that they graciously gifted you."

"Just curious, can you uninvite them to the wedding and save on their plate?"

sparklepants41

JFC. I don't even know where to begin with this level of entitlement. 

Hotel blocks with a minimum night stay? No. Essentially mandatory reservations at this hotel? Oh hell to the no. Where do people get off thinking they can dictate how people spend their money? And if the couple signed up to be on the hook for the cost of the unbooked rooms, why are they surprised/disappointed/pissed that they are, um, going to be on the hook for the unbooked rooms?????

charlotte989875

I hate minimum stays; when H's sister got married last summer there was a two-night minimum, and granted we had to stay that long, but still it was obnoxious. 

The couple signed the agreement with the hotel, they're taking on the responsibility of those rooms not being filled. It sucks, but that's what they agreed to. They can't force people into staying in a more expensive hotel just because that's what they prefer. 


But, but the terribleness of "you must cover your plate or you are the tacky one" is disgusting. 

Gosh, weddings really do bring out the best in people, don't they? 

banana468

charlotte989875 said:

I hate minimum stays; when H's sister got married last summer there was a two-night minimum, and granted we had to stay that long, but still it was obnoxious. 

The couple signed the agreement with the hotel, they're taking on the responsibility of those rooms not being filled. It sucks, but that's what they agreed to. They can't force people into staying in a more expensive hotel just because that's what they prefer. 


But, but the terribleness of "you must cover your plate or you are the tacky one" is disgusting. 

Gosh, weddings really do bring out the best in people, don't they? 

I have to say, one of the nicer things about being 5+ years removed from the bulk of weddings DH and I attended is looking back at the fuckery involved and realizing how stupid some of it was. 

Of COURSE your guests are going to plan the most cost-effective travel arrangements and if yours aren't, too bad.    

charlotte989875

banana468 said:

charlotte989875 said:

I hate minimum stays; when H's sister got married last summer there was a two-night minimum, and granted we had to stay that long, but still it was obnoxious. 

The couple signed the agreement with the hotel, they're taking on the responsibility of those rooms not being filled. It sucks, but that's what they agreed to. They can't force people into staying in a more expensive hotel just because that's what they prefer. 


But, but the terribleness of "you must cover your plate or you are the tacky one" is disgusting. 

Gosh, weddings really do bring out the best in people, don't they? 

I have to say, one of the nicer things about being 5+ years removed from the bulk of weddings DH and I attended is looking back at the fuckery involved and realizing how stupid some of it was. 

Of COURSE your guests are going to plan the most cost-effective travel arrangements and if yours aren't, too bad.    

We're finally at the tail end of weddings. We will likely have only one this summer and one next summer (which H will be in), but then that's most of our close friends and family. Can't say I'm disappointed at all. All of our vacations/travel have been centered around weddings for the past three years. I'm over it.