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Wedding Reception Forum
Mcm0401
member
Hors D'oeuvres vs. Sit Down
Hello all,
My FH and I are not getting any help paying for our wedding, and I refuse to take out loans so I have finally given up on my once dreamed of big, beautiful, sit down ballroom, extravaganza.
I have priced many places all over the state and have found one place near us that will do a 4 hour open bar, with hors d'oeuvres and dessert.
There will be a small table with cheeses, dips, veggies, crackers, etc.
Then there will be a buffet style,(and some butler style)
Chicken tenderloins, vegetable spring rolls, coconut shrimp, teriyaki beef satays, and scallops wrapped in bacon. (plus more)
There will also be a pasta station with two different types of pasta and a basket of garlic bread.
Dessert will be a buffet of eclairs, neapolitans, cannolies, petite cream puffs,cookies, brownies, cordials and I already asked her if we could also bring in our own cake as well.
I guess I just want an honest opinion about if this seems like enough to make a fun reception. I already asked friends and family but I don't know if they are just trying to ease some of my stress.
We do plan on having it on a Friday night. (I feel like a Saturday night I would HAVE to do a sit down).
I know the wording on the invitation would have to be clear about not having a sit down so I would also like advice on that. I was thinking like, "Hors D'oeuvres, drinks and dancing to follow" ?
Thank you!
My FH and I are not getting any help paying for our wedding, and I refuse to take out loans so I have finally given up on my once dreamed of big, beautiful, sit down ballroom, extravaganza.
I have priced many places all over the state and have found one place near us that will do a 4 hour open bar, with hors d'oeuvres and dessert.
There will be a small table with cheeses, dips, veggies, crackers, etc.
Then there will be a buffet style,(and some butler style)
Chicken tenderloins, vegetable spring rolls, coconut shrimp, teriyaki beef satays, and scallops wrapped in bacon. (plus more)
There will also be a pasta station with two different types of pasta and a basket of garlic bread.
Dessert will be a buffet of eclairs, neapolitans, cannolies, petite cream puffs,cookies, brownies, cordials and I already asked her if we could also bring in our own cake as well.
I guess I just want an honest opinion about if this seems like enough to make a fun reception. I already asked friends and family but I don't know if they are just trying to ease some of my stress.
We do plan on having it on a Friday night. (I feel like a Saturday night I would HAVE to do a sit down).
I know the wording on the invitation would have to be clear about not having a sit down so I would also like advice on that. I was thinking like, "Hors D'oeuvres, drinks and dancing to follow" ?
Thank you!
Re: Hors D'oeuvres vs. Sit Down
You should not have wording on the invitation about what type of reception, just have "reception to follow".
1. If I have appetizers then dessert, I'm wondering where the meal in-between is. I may not eat as much apps, thinking that there will be a dinner. So even if you have more than enough to eat, guests may be confused by the format.
2. Small bites are more expensive to make than large trays, so this may also cost you money. I'm thinking a large tray of chicken parmesan that would feed 20 costing as much or less than 40 pieces of bacon wrapped scallops which may be enough dinner for only 10.
Talk to the venue and ask if they could work with you on this. If not or they charge more, then I suspect that they only replenish the pasta and other low-cost carbs, and there wouldn't be enough protein for your guests to feel like they had a good meal before dessert.
It is not usual to have wording on the invitation that describes the food offered at your reception or entertainment (dancing). As long as there is enough food to make up a meal, you do not need to specify what will be served. "Reception to follow" is correct.
Your dessert spread sounds phenomenal
It is OK to offer finger type foods in place of meal- as long as each guest will get enough food to cover a meal (i.e. a plate full of food covering the main food groups). Looking back at what your options are- I think it's pretty good actually! You've got chicken tenders, beef satays, shrimp, bacon/scallops, as well as pastas and some other items to pick at. I would see if you can throw a lettuce based salad in there for some veggies. As long as the venue will actually replenish everything (including the meat), I think you are more than fine.
I attended an appetizer reception once. It was done really well and I actually ate more than I normally would because there was lots of variety, so I wanted to try everything. I am sure I filled my plate twice and left stuffed.
Beyond that, you don't need to describe what you are offering for your reception- because it is presumed you are properly hosting it. You simply say "Reception to follow".
If you are not offering a meal, your wedding should be at a non-meal time. Either the afternoon, or after 7pm. But either way, since you are having a Friday wedding, I would suggest starting your wedding as late as you can in order to give guests time to travel (can you do your ceremony at 7pm?). One of my friends got married on a Friday with ceremony at 5pm. Sure, people should plan accordingly and show up on time, but lots of people were coming from work and showed up minutes before the bride walked down the aisle or late and stood at the back for the ceremony.
What you offer on a Friday night vs. a Saturday night shouldn't be any different. If anything, I would offer a better fair on a Friday night as your guests may have come from work and not had time to eat anything all afternoon, vs. a Sat where your guests *could* get a bite to eat before the wedding.
I will agree that you may find a buffet dinner cheaper than the apps as it's easier to make large batches of salad/pasta/chicken/vegetables than a bunch of little items. See if it's an option.
Am I off base?
This is how I envisioned it! Personally, I think it's fine as long as you have a few "heavier" items, which you do. I don't think it needs to be communicated on the invites, but somehow you need to let people know that this is dinner. In my region, really heavy cocktail hours with carving stations and whatnot are pretty standard, DEFINITELY enough to be dinner, but I've always had to pace myself so I don't eat too much that I can't even touch dinner or make myself sick. IDK, I could see myself seeing lots of yummy food and just picking or taking little tastes because I thought dinner was coming later. Maybe a sign would be a good way to communicate this?
My daughter had a buffet luncheon reception with dancing. There were cruditees and drinks served before the couple made their entrance. Then the food was served. Is that what you planned? How long is the food being served, and how does the venue keep it hot, or are we talking cold food?
All good questions, but I am not the OP. Question was more directed at people who compared the OPs idea to a buffet reception, which, IME is something different.
DH and I are both lawyers also. When we go out to eat we eat the same as anyone else in the restaurant. . . . or so I thought. Have a little app, dinner, wine, and call it a night!
As long as you have enough seats I think you're fine. If you aren't assigning seating, the rule would be about 15% additional seats to account for people leaving space between each other and not filling tables.