Wedding Woes

Tu-tu-TUESDAY

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Re: Tu-tu-TUESDAY

  • @kimmiinthemitten that story is ridiculous. I'm glad you are safe. You never know. It kind of reminds me of the time one of John Wayne Gacey's victims escaped and called the cops. The cops came, JWG was like "we were just playing an adult game and he misunderstood what was happening," and the cop was like "right-o-cheerio, kid, don't call me out for useless shit," and then he fucking left! It's literally in their job description to "protect and serve." That was a suspicious as fuck situation and he basically just ignored it. 

    Last night I went out for dinner and drinks with SO's sister and her bf. We got a little turned up on happy hour. Then we came back to the house and hung out. Oh, and we did a beautiful hike yesterday. It was a pretty good day. 

    Today I am finishing a presentation. I also have to rent a steam cleaner because last night SO's sister tripped and spilled red wine all over the couch and rug. The 409 rug cleaner is just not cutting it. 


    image
  • @lyndausvi I worked a baby shower two weekends ago and had a woman and her friends lecture me three times about dairy allergies "you know, anything made with milk."

    I wanted to say something like "I'm sorry, when your host set the menu, they did not ask for any dairy or gluten free items," but instead worked with the chef to make sure she had lettuce wraps instead of bread and a bowl of salad without cheese.  

    Then the old broad killed a slice of cake.

    @mrsconn23 while I agree that the kids weren't being body shamed specifically, I do have a problem with dress codes that unfairly affect one gender over the other.  Leggings bans are a perfect example of a dress code that disproportionately affects females.  Leggings on a child shouldn't be comparable to a grown man wearing a shirt with profanity on the front.  

    I'm just not comfortable with the implications and the lessons we teach young girls when dress codes overwhelming tell women to cover up.  UA calls out provocative, see through, form fitting, midriff bearing, spandex, mini skirts and short shorts which primarily affects females.  They call out underwear showing clothes which would likely impact males.  That is not equitable.
    One of DH's pilot friends posted about this on FB the other day. Airlines used to require that passengers with a pass seat wear business casual attire regardless of gender in order to be allowed on the plane- because they are technically reaping a benefit associated with being employed by the airline. So when you consider that, they've really loosened up the rules. 
    But what kids have business casual attire?   

    And why are competing airlines having such inconsistent attire policies?  
    charlotte989875kimmiinthemittenHeffalumpsparklepants41


  • @mrsconn23 while I agree that the kids weren't being body shamed specifically, I do have a problem with dress codes that unfairly affect one gender over the other.  Leggings bans are a perfect example of a dress code that disproportionately affects females.  Leggings on a child shouldn't be comparable to a grown man wearing a shirt with profanity on the front.  

    I'm just not comfortable with the implications and the lessons we teach young girls when dress codes overwhelming tell women to cover up.  UA calls out provocative, see through, form fitting, midriff bearing, spandex, mini skirts and short shorts which primarily affects females.  They call out underwear showing clothes which would likely impact males.  That is not equitable.
    Yes, dress codes can be unfair in application and that's a wider issue of concern and something that is worthy of debate. 

    I'd be much more outraged if she was a paying customer and they made her change.  That *has* happened before and people were rightfully outraged.  

    But in the industry you and the people you give your benefits to are held to a higher standard because you are getting something for free or at a deep discount.  I used to work in employee reservations for my company and not playing by the rules has severe consequences, even if it's your guest and not you on the trip. And yes, if you're 9 or 90, if you are receiving a free benefit, you are representing the company/industry providing that benefit.  

    Again, it was a failure on the part of the adult she was with.  They should have known better (it's my understanding that the dress code is handed out with all buddy passes) and chose not to follow the rules.  The person who supplied the pass could now lose their benefits or be fired over this.  If this was a friend or family member, I'd be PISSED that they endangered my job. 

    Here is the policy (for anyone interested).  It's not as though she couldn't have been comfortably dressed under the policy (again, a tunic or dress over the leggings would have made this a non-issue):


    thefanciestbecklercupcait927lyndausvi
  • @lyndausvi I worked a baby shower two weekends ago and had a woman and her friends lecture me three times about dairy allergies "you know, anything made with milk."

    I wanted to say something like "I'm sorry, when your host set the menu, they did not ask for any dairy or gluten free items," but instead worked with the chef to make sure she had lettuce wraps instead of bread and a bowl of salad without cheese.  

    Then the old broad killed a slice of cake.


    Ugh, I had one of those last week too.    We went through the whole damn list of which soups and salads were GF and which weren't.  I then offered to go to the back and get a soup without noodles to make it GF for her.    Then she grabbed a slice a regular bread AFTER I offered her a GF roll.   She said "well, it doesn't effect me that bad".     Then why the fuck did I just jump through hoops during a rush if it's not that "bad"?   

    Those types of people bug the crap out of me.

    I also had a 10 year old berate me over the fact I couldn't guarantee there would be no cross contamination in regards to GF.     We have GF options.  Quite a few actually.  However, we are NOT a gluten free environment, nor can I 100% prevent cross contamination.  

    We are cafeteria/station type restaurant. Items are close together.  I'm lucky if some of my staff even show up. Not being high is a bonus.  

    We wash our hands often, use gloves and wash/sanitize  everything down between uses. But I'm not going to take the chance that someone didn't change their gloves after touching a gluten item before touching a GF item.  We do not have separate GF cutting boards or utensils.  We do not have separate fryers for GF and non GF items.  We do not have a separate GF grill.  Nor do we have the space for such things.    

    I offered him a mixed green salad and a GF roll.  He asked if the GF roll (which are individually packaged and he can open it himself) was frozen.  Answer is yes. He walked away in a huff.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
    kimmiinthemitten
  • edited March 2017
    I have no idea, @banana468. This guy is an airline pilot's son and grew up using those passes all the time. I think business casual is a little unreasonable, especially for kids. I'm guessing that's why they added jeans to the list of allowable attire. 

    Eta word

    Heffalump
  • mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited March 2017
    banana468 said:
    @mrsconn23, some of that seems really subjective to me.  

    -If a bra strap gets exposed is that going to be a deal breaker?  
    -The short length seems very much geared towards men.   I have a few pairs of shorts that would qualify for the 3 inches above the knee requirement but who in my house does?   MY HUSBAND.  A lot of my shorts, even Bermuda-types are still more than 3 inches above the knee.  
    -Mini Skirts are what length?  There are preppy minis from J.Crew and Banana that I've worn out that are dressier than a man's shorts but it doesn't meet the requirement.

    By the dress code, my husband can wear his Yankee t-shirt, cargo shorts and running shoes and be fine.   If I wore an a-line mini that was above my knee, a flowy blouse and sandals, the skirt would have me in violation. 

    The other concern I have is that the attire applies to kids.  Granted, the way my 6 yo dresses is going to be different from how she'll dress in a few years but the no lycra pants, no short shorts etc again seems really geared towards how women dress.   

    IMO, you agree to this policy when you get your free tickets but United should re think their policy.   

    I totally agree with you regarding the subjectivity and UA mishandled this via twitter.  And hopefully they will review things after this shitshow.  

    But as someone who is part of the industry, I think that there being a 'standard' is not crazy and having policies that includes everyone who benefits from something free is not villainous.  

    I think the person who initially tweeted about this and turned it into a firestorm should have asked more questions before sending it out there.  And also, why can't anyone just say, "I don't agree with this." and then go on their merry way?  Or they could have asked for a supervisor IN the airport to argue on this child's behalf.  

    Being in customer service in the travel industry, I *felt* for the gate agent and also for the person who provided the pass.  It's a tough industry to be in, especially the more competitive it gets.   And with free benefits to employees in the industry becoming more scarce, we (collective 'we') don't need shit like this because it's easier for our companies to say, "OK, shut it down!"   Nothing is ever truly 'free' and if you want to benefit from this type of stuff, just follow the damn rules even if you feel they are archaic or sexist or whatever.  If you feel you can't do that, then don't take advantage of it. 
    cupcait927thefanciestbecklershort+sassyDrillSergeantCat
  • @kimmiinthemitten yesterday you asked for baby horror stories...Me and the babies got home around 5:15. I gave Mouse a bottle of milk and he passed out in the floor. He woke up a little later and crawled up on the couch. He slept until 8:30. Now usually, he'll go right back to sleep. Not last night, I gave him some dinner which apparently just pissed him off since he threw it on the floor and cried. I gave him a bath and tried to put him to bed. Nope. Screamed and threw a fit until almost midnight. Then woke up again at 4. 

    I had a phone interview with a recruiter yesterday. There are two positions she's submitting me for. The lower paying of the two pays $12,000 more a year than I currently make. 

    Norah had her two month check up and vaccinations today. She's in the 98th percentile for height at 23.25" and 50th percentile for weight at 10.25 lbs. She has a clogged tear duct that may require surgery some day. Other than that, she's good.
    kimmiinthemittenthefanciestbecklershort+sassyHeffalump
  • In regards to dress code for guest passes, I respectfully disagree with some of you.  There are a few more rules that will apply more to women but then, women have a lot more variety in what we wear than men do.

    Sure, kids aren't going to have "business casual" clothing, but that is really more to give an idea of the "level" of dress expected.  Not only that.  But jeans are an option.  Which, to me, is a couple steps below "business casual".  My office is business casual all the time.  But jeans are a big no-no and I'd at least be "spoken to" if I showed up in jeans, if not sent home to change.  And leggings are a couple steps more casual than jeans.

    I flew on one of these passes once about 20 years ago.  There were no jeans or athletic shoes permitted back then.  My b/f (at the time) and I were told, multiple times by the friend who gave us the passes, that we needed to dress like we were going on an interview in a formal work environment.  My b/f wore a suit.  I didn't quite wear a suit, but I did wear a matching top/knee length skirt that (I think) would have passed muster in even the stuffiest law office.

    In sum, the original other passenger who tweeted about this and caused a big ado about nothing, didn't know the full situation.  And the father was a fail for not making sure his family was dressed appropriately to fly on companion passes.   

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    mrsconn23cupcait927DrillSergeantCat
  • banana468 said:

    I totally agree with you on the bolded.   It seems like the person who started this firestorm is her own blogger and I half wonder if she's advancing her own agenda by this.    Also agree that in general we jump to conclusions and THEN ask questions.   


    Trust me I'm a rules girl and believe that if a policy is stated then you follow it.   I completely agree that those pass travelers should have reviewed the rules and dressed in compliance at the time that they were getting ready for their flights. 


    My criticisms are for those who can effect change and for those who write the policies.  The gate agent isn't one of them.   I think those who need to review how to handle issues are whomever is in charge of United's Twitter feed and those who write United's attire policy.    

    All of this.  I'd also like to add 'journalists who call teenagers women' to the list of people who need to rethink their policies.

    Two teenagers were turned away.  They are not women.  
    image
    mrsconn23banana468Heffalump
  • In regards to dress code for guest passes, I respectfully disagree with some of you.  There are a few more rules that will apply more to women but then, women have a lot more variety in what we wear than men do.

    Sure, kids aren't going to have "business casual" clothing, but that is really more to give an idea of the "level" of dress expected.  Not only that.  But jeans are an option.  Which, to me, is a couple steps below "business casual".  My office is business casual all the time.  But jeans are a big no-no and I'd at least be "spoken to" if I showed up in jeans, if not sent home to change.  And leggings are a couple steps more casual than jeans.

    I flew on one of these passes once about 20 years ago.  There were no jeans or athletic shoes permitted back then.  My b/f (at the time) and I were told, multiple times by the friend who gave us the passes, that we needed to dress like we were going on an interview in a formal work environment.  My b/f wore a suit.  I didn't quite wear a suit, but I did wear a matching top/knee length skirt that (I think) would have passed muster in even the stuffiest law office.

    In sum, the original other passenger who tweeted about this and caused a big ado about nothing, didn't know the full situation.  And the father was a fail for not making sure his family was dressed appropriately to fly on companion passes.   

    @short+sassy you just perfectly summed up my thoughts. Especially the bolded. I guess since DH is a pilot I see things a little differently. I fully understand the amount of blood, sweat, and tears that is involved to get a person to the point where they even have passes available to them. The dress code for a pass flight is a minuscule hoop to jump through compared to the thousands of other hoops an airline employee has to jump through, and quite frankly it just doesn't bother me. I will happily wear whatever they tell me to wear whenever we get to the point of having pass seats. 

    mrsconn23cupcait927short+sassy
  • @mrsconn23, yes I hate mice! our area has a lot of them and they come in through the walls :(  Usually in the fall to winter when it gets cold outside. ugh!

    @atomicblonde, I tried to mow the lawn once.  Once.  I did a strip and a half and stopped, turned to DH and said "yeah, this really isn't my thing".  We now hire out.

    @kimmiinthemitten, that's so aggravating.  I like how he brushed it off with "he's with his wife".  Someone doesn't watch "couples who kill" on I.D. then.

    Last night, as if i wasn't tired enough - I had to leave work at 4:15 and pick up DH who was an hour and a half away.  His car broke down.  He wasn't going to put any more money into it, so he bought a 'new used' one.  It took us FOREVER at the dealership and it got me thinking about upgrading my car.  But then I started to look at payments and said if i added a car payment, I'd have to stop buying useless shit I don't even need anymore.  Not going to happen.  I'm glad I did go home to put deodorant on at lunch though, considering I wasn't home till 11!

    The guy at the dealership recommended a great Mexican place down the street too.  Worth the drive.  It's amazing how feeding me puts me in a better mood. I went from 0 to 10 with the first bite of burrito. 

    kimmiinthemittenshort+sassymissJeanLouisemrsconn23
  • cupcait927cupcait927 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited March 2017
    On the whole dress code thing; yes, if people are benefitting from free/reduced passes they should follow the rules that are associated with being granted this privilege. However, when the requirements disproportionately affect women (or teenage girls) I question the intent behind the requirements and the ways in which they are applied. 

    But at least we get this response from Delta... 
    I'm curious as to what Delta's pass flyer rules are nowadays. Back when I was in high school, my mom took my sister and I to Hawaii using Delta buddy passes (my uncle worked for the airline). We had to dress up - no leggings, jeans, flipflops, sneakers, tees, hoodies, etc - at 13 and 15 years old. Granted, this was 15 years ago and their rules have probably relaxed but still curious.

    ETA - Found the below. It does say they've relaxed the dress code, but also says no revealing clothing and no sleepwear. Almost too vague - a gate agent that has to police it could say that wearing leggings without a long top could be "revealing". However, good to know that it's not as strict as it once was.

    APPEARANCE: FLYING IN COMFORT AND STYLE. Delta has a relaxed dress code for pass riders, including Buddies. The standard is based on respect – for our customers and for you. Delta trusts your good judgment when traveling on a Buddy Pass. Just remember, Delta has a relaxed dress code for pass riders, but that doesn’t mean a sloppy appearance is acceptable. You should never wear unclean, revealing or lewd garments, or swimwear or sleepwear on a flight. The relaxed dress code also applies for Buddy Pass travel on Delta Connection carriers.
    mrsconn23


  • Norah had her two month check up and vaccinations today. She's in the 98th percentile for height at 23.25" and 50th percentile for weight at 10.25 lbs. She has a clogged tear duct that may require surgery some day. Other than that, she's good.
    B was 10lbs even at his 2 month appointment (which was more like and they said he was in the under 5%. I know there are different charts for boys and girls but still. They wanted him to be 12 lbs at 3 months and I was like yea not happening, he isn't gaining 2 lbs in 3 weeks.
    mrsconn23
  • mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited March 2017


    Norah had her two month check up and vaccinations today. She's in the 98th percentile for height at 23.25" and 50th percentile for weight at 10.25 lbs. She has a clogged tear duct that may require surgery some day. Other than that, she's good.
    My nephew had that issue too. It cleared up on its own.  Hopefully the same thing will happen for Norah.  ;) 
    DrillSergeantCat
  • kvruns said:


    Norah had her two month check up and vaccinations today. She's in the 98th percentile for height at 23.25" and 50th percentile for weight at 10.25 lbs. She has a clogged tear duct that may require surgery some day. Other than that, she's good.
    B was 10lbs even at his 2 month appointment (which was more like and they said he was in the under 5%. I know there are different charts for boys and girls but still. They wanted him to be 12 lbs at 3 months and I was like yea not happening, he isn't gaining 2 lbs in 3 weeks.
    I was kind of worried because Norah is just now outgrowing her newborn clothes (her pants actually look like capris) and Mouse was only in newborn for 3 days, but they're fine with her weight. Side note - Her head is in the 95th percentile so she's going to have a big noggin like her bubs. 
  • kvruns said:


    Norah had her two month check up and vaccinations today. She's in the 98th percentile for height at 23.25" and 50th percentile for weight at 10.25 lbs. She has a clogged tear duct that may require surgery some day. Other than that, she's good.
    B was 10lbs even at his 2 month appointment (which was more like and they said he was in the under 5%. I know there are different charts for boys and girls but still. They wanted him to be 12 lbs at 3 months and I was like yea not happening, he isn't gaining 2 lbs in 3 weeks.
    I was kind of worried because Norah is just now outgrowing her newborn clothes (her pants actually look like capris) and Mouse was only in newborn for 3 days, but they're fine with her weight. Side note - Her head is in the 95th percentile so she's going to have a big noggin like her bubs. 

    I know we're talking babies, but I had to laugh about myself.

    I'm only 5'0" tall and even "petite" pants are too long on me.  But capris made to hit about mid calf are the PERFECT length for full length pants on me, lol.  That's usually what I buy.

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    DrillSergeantCatthefanciestbecklersparklepants41
  • kvruns said:


    Norah had her two month check up and vaccinations today. She's in the 98th percentile for height at 23.25" and 50th percentile for weight at 10.25 lbs. She has a clogged tear duct that may require surgery some day. Other than that, she's good.
    B was 10lbs even at his 2 month appointment (which was more like and they said he was in the under 5%. I know there are different charts for boys and girls but still. They wanted him to be 12 lbs at 3 months and I was like yea not happening, he isn't gaining 2 lbs in 3 weeks.
    I was kind of worried because Norah is just now outgrowing her newborn clothes (her pants actually look like capris) and Mouse was only in newborn for 3 days, but they're fine with her weight. Side note - Her head is in the 95th percentile so she's going to have a big noggin like her bubs. 
    The sleeper B came home in from daycare yesterday was NB. He has probably 3-4 NB outfits that still fit (they obviously run big). Some 0-3 stuff is still giant on him it is ridiculous (he was 4 months last week)
  • mrsconn23 said:


    Norah had her two month check up and vaccinations today. She's in the 98th percentile for height at 23.25" and 50th percentile for weight at 10.25 lbs. She has a clogged tear duct that may require surgery some day. Other than that, she's good.
    My nephew had that issue too. It cleared up on its own.  Hopefully the same thing will happen for Norah.  ;) 
    Wolverine did too - both eyes. it cleared up before she was 1, no surgery needed. We had to get pricey prescription eye drops for when she got a little crusty, but overall it wasn't a big deal. It's also easier than you think giving a baby eye drops. 
    DrillSergeantCat
  • I was too full to eat the last quarter of my club sandwich.  So I ate just the bacon and threw the rest out.  Priorities!
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    thefanciestbeckler
  • @kvruns - that is a little baby. I'm just used to my giant kids I guess!

    @*barbie* - they're supposed to send over a prescription for some eye drops but they're supposedly really cheap. She's had erythromycin ointment which is a giant PITA so I'm glad to be switching to drops.
  • @DrillSergeantCat - easiest way to put them in is to lay her on her back (like while you're changing her) and put it right at the inner corner of her eye. when she opens her eyes, the drops roll right in. my bottle was the size of a quarter and cost $75 - for some reason insurance coverage for them was crap, but luckily we only ever needed 2 bottles. it lasted a while. 
    DrillSergeantCat
  • 6fsn6fsn member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    @DrillSergeantCat my oldest had to have the tear duct surgery. It lasted maybe 2 minutes. 
  • 6fsn said:
    @DrillSergeantCat my oldest had to have the tear duct surgery. It lasted maybe 2 minutes. 
    I heard that it takes longer to knock them out than the actual procedure. I'm just glad we know what's going on because the old bitch in her daycare room likes to kick kids out for every little thing and she thought Norah had pink eye even though her conjunctiva was never pink. When I dropped Norah off yesterday the FIRST thing out of the teacher's mouth was, "Well...what did the doctor say about her eye?"
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