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Etiquette

Polite way to find out if they're feeding us?

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Re: Polite way to find out if they're feeding us?

  • levioosa said:
    Don't assume! I went to a coworker's wedding years ago; she invited the whole office. There wasn't a meal choice on the RSVP card, so we all assumed buffet. WRONG. We showed up at the reception venue (after a non-hosted gap), only to have the bride's mother come out and yell at us to leave because the dinner was for close friends & family. (They also gave wristbands to family for free drinks, and everyone else had to pay.) We left early.

    I agree with the gossipy relative or striking up a conversation with the couple! Most of the time the food is something that comes up in planning conversations. 
    WTELF?!? Worst wedding I went to they served appetizers - cheese, fruit, chicken fingers - and ran out about an hour into the reception. I was 5 months pregnant so a bunch of us left really early to go eat.

    That's what I don't understand about people, whether it's a party or a reception.  The host(ess) will spend all kinds of money to throw a shindig.  But, if you cheap out on the food portions and people get hungry, they're not staying and an otherwise great party becomes a big flop.
    I'm known as the person who always makes "too much food." Not providing enough food is like a foreign concept.  It keeps the party going.  It's what people remember.  I went to a wedding where the ceremony was at 5:00 and we didn't eat until 9 pm.  They ran out of food, and the caterer wasn't equipped to handle the amount of people.  People remembered that more than they remembered the great DJ.  


    Right on!  In my world, "too much food" means the right amount was ordered, lol.

    At my own wedding, which was at my mom's house, we had a restaurant cater it.  But it was a "drop off the food and leave" type of deal.  It was a buffet of Hawaiian dishes and sides.  Shortly into the "second round", we were out of one of the entrees, the Coconut Shrimp, but had two more entrees.

    After the fact, my poor mom was worried, "Oh, I wish I'd ordered more shrimp!  There wasn't enough.  I thought that would be enough."  I'm like, "Mom, it's fine.  There was plenty of food and anyone who wanted shrimp got at least one serving of it before it was gone."

    Classic Mom, "Yeah, but I really like that shrimp too and wanted leftovers."  LMAO. 

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    ILoveBeachMusicOurWildKingdomPrettyGirlLost
  • levioosa said:
    Don't assume! I went to a coworker's wedding years ago; she invited the whole office. There wasn't a meal choice on the RSVP card, so we all assumed buffet. WRONG. We showed up at the reception venue (after a non-hosted gap), only to have the bride's mother come out and yell at us to leave because the dinner was for close friends & family. (They also gave wristbands to family for free drinks, and everyone else had to pay.) We left early.

    I agree with the gossipy relative or striking up a conversation with the couple! Most of the time the food is something that comes up in planning conversations. 
    WTELF?!? Worst wedding I went to they served appetizers - cheese, fruit, chicken fingers - and ran out about an hour into the reception. I was 5 months pregnant so a bunch of us left really early to go eat.

    That's what I don't understand about people, whether it's a party or a reception.  The host(ess) will spend all kinds of money to throw a shindig.  But, if you cheap out on the food portions and people get hungry, they're not staying and an otherwise great party becomes a big flop.
    I'm known as the person who always makes "too much food." Not providing enough food is like a foreign concept.  It keeps the party going.  It's what people remember.  I went to a wedding where the ceremony was at 5:00 and we didn't eat until 9 pm.  They ran out of food, and the caterer wasn't equipped to handle the amount of people.  People remembered that more than they remembered the great DJ.  
    Me too! Every time we have people over, whether we cooked or ordered in, we end up with an insane amount of leftovers and send people home with food.
    Me three! For DD's wedding we ordered extra cake because I didn't want to run out of cake ( the baker said not to plan on everyone eating cake - WTF!).
    Who (barring health or moral considerations) doesn't eat cake at a wedding?
    My husband, but that just means a double serving of cake for me!
    ILoveBeachMusicMairePoppyOurWildKingdomthisismynickname2
















  • levioosa said:














    Don't assume! I went to a coworker's wedding years ago; she invited the whole office. There wasn't a meal choice on the RSVP card, so we all assumed buffet. WRONG. We showed up at the reception venue (after a non-hosted gap), only to have the bride's mother come out and yell at us to leave because the dinner was for close friends & family. (They also gave wristbands to family for free drinks, and everyone else had to pay.) We left early.

    I agree with the gossipy relative or striking up a conversation with the couple! Most of the time the food is something that comes up in planning conversations. 




    WTELF?!? Worst wedding I went to they served appetizers - cheese, fruit, chicken fingers - and ran out about an hour into the reception. I was 5 months pregnant so a bunch of us left really early to go eat.





    That's what I don't understand about people, whether it's a party or a reception.  The host(ess) will spend all kinds of money to throw a shindig.  But, if you cheap out on the food portions and people get hungry, they're not staying and an otherwise great party becomes a big flop.




    I'm known as the person who always makes "too much food." Not providing enough food is like a foreign concept.
     It keeps the party going.  It's what people remember.  I went to a wedding where the ceremony was at 5:00 and we didn't eat until 9 pm.  They ran out of food, and the caterer wasn't equipped to handle the amount of people.  People remembered that more than they remembered the great DJ.  




    Me too! Every time we have people over, whether we cooked or ordered in, we end up with an insane amount of leftovers and send people home with food.




    Me three! For DD's wedding we ordered extra cake because I didn't want to run out of cake ( the baker said not to plan on everyone eating cake - WTF!).




    Who (barring health or moral considerations) doesn't eat cake at a wedding?




    I usually don't.  

    I'm my experience wedding cakes tend to be too dry, and the frosting/fillings too sweet.  Plus ppl in my area are obsessed with burnt almond tortes- which I hate.

    I prefer the cookies and other pastries at weddings :-)


    I love cake and usually I'm so busy dancing I don't even notice it being served. 
    OurWildKingdomsparklepants41



























  • levioosa said:





















    Don't assume! I went to a coworker's wedding years ago; she invited the whole office. There wasn't a meal choice on the RSVP card, so we all assumed buffet. WRONG. We showed up at the reception venue (after a non-hosted gap), only to have the bride's mother come out and yell at us to leave because the dinner was for close friends & family. (They also gave wristbands to family for free drinks, and everyone else had to pay.) We left early.

    I agree with the gossipy relative or striking up a conversation with the couple! Most of the time the food is something that comes up in planning conversations. 






    WTELF?!? Worst wedding I went to they served appetizers - cheese, fruit, chicken fingers - and ran out about an hour into the reception. I was 5 months pregnant so a bunch of us left really early to go eat.







    That's what I don't understand about people, whether it's a party or a reception.  The host(ess) will spend all kinds of money to throw a shindig.  But, if you cheap out on the food portions and people get hungry, they're not staying and an otherwise great party becomes a big flop.






    I'm known as the person who always makes "too much food." Not providing enough food is like a foreign concept.
     It keeps the party going.  It's what people remember.  I went to a wedding where the ceremony was at 5:00 and we didn't eat until 9 pm.  They ran out of food, and the caterer wasn't equipped to handle the amount of people.  People remembered that more than they remembered the great DJ.  






    Me too! Every time we have people over, whether we cooked or ordered in, we end up with an insane amount of leftovers and send people home with food.






    Me three! For DD's wedding we ordered extra cake because I didn't want to run out of cake ( the baker said not to plan on everyone eating cake - WTF!).






    Who (barring health or moral considerations) doesn't eat cake at a wedding?






    I usually don't.  

    I'm my experience wedding cakes tend to be too dry, and the frosting/fillings too sweet.  Plus ppl in my area are obsessed with burnt almond tortes- which I hate.

    I prefer the cookies and other pastries at weddings :-)




    I love cake and usually I'm so busy dancing I don't even notice it being served. 


    I love cake and beer, but usually at weddings (including my own!) I forget all about them in the excitement of dancing. 
    OurWildKingdomSTARMOON44



























  • levioosa said:





















    Don't assume! I went to a coworker's wedding years ago; she invited the whole office. There wasn't a meal choice on the RSVP card, so we all assumed buffet. WRONG. We showed up at the reception venue (after a non-hosted gap), only to have the bride's mother come out and yell at us to leave because the dinner was for close friends & family. (They also gave wristbands to family for free drinks, and everyone else had to pay.) We left early.

    I agree with the gossipy relative or striking up a conversation with the couple! Most of the time the food is something that comes up in planning conversations. 






    WTELF?!? Worst wedding I went to they served appetizers - cheese, fruit, chicken fingers - and ran out about an hour into the reception. I was 5 months pregnant so a bunch of us left really early to go eat.







    That's what I don't understand about people, whether it's a party or a reception.  The host(ess) will spend all kinds of money to throw a shindig.  But, if you cheap out on the food portions and people get hungry, they're not staying and an otherwise great party becomes a big flop.






    I'm known as the person who always makes "too much food." Not providing enough food is like a foreign concept.
     It keeps the party going.  It's what people remember.  I went to a wedding where the ceremony was at 5:00 and we didn't eat until 9 pm.  They ran out of food, and the caterer wasn't equipped to handle the amount of people.  People remembered that more than they remembered the great DJ.  






    Me too! Every time we have people over, whether we cooked or ordered in, we end up with an insane amount of leftovers and send people home with food.






    Me three! For DD's wedding we ordered extra cake because I didn't want to run out of cake ( the baker said not to plan on everyone eating cake - WTF!).






    Who (barring health or moral considerations) doesn't eat cake at a wedding?






    I usually don't.  

    I'm my experience wedding cakes tend to be too dry, and the frosting/fillings too sweet.  Plus ppl in my area are obsessed with burnt almond tortes- which I hate.

    I prefer the cookies and other pastries at weddings :-)




    I love cake and usually I'm so busy dancing I don't even notice it being served. 


    This is me, too. And by the time I realize there's cake and I want it H has already eaten his piece plus mine. 
    OurWildKingdomsparklepants41lyndausviSTARMOON44
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its








































    levioosa said:




























    Don't assume! I went to a coworker's wedding years ago; she invited the whole office. There wasn't a meal choice on the RSVP card, so we all assumed buffet. WRONG. We showed up at the reception venue (after a non-hosted gap), only to have the bride's mother come out and yell at us to leave because the dinner was for close friends & family. (They also gave wristbands to family for free drinks, and everyone else had to pay.) We left early.

    I agree with the gossipy relative or striking up a conversation with the couple! Most of the time the food is something that comes up in planning conversations. 








    WTELF?!? Worst wedding I went to they served appetizers - cheese, fruit, chicken fingers - and ran out about an hour into the reception. I was 5 months pregnant so a bunch of us left really early to go eat.









    That's what I don't understand about people, whether it's a party or a reception.  The host(ess) will spend all kinds of money to throw a shindig.  But, if you cheap out on the food portions and people get hungry, they're not staying and an otherwise great party becomes a big flop.








    I'm known as the person who always makes "too much food." Not providing enough food is like a foreign concept.
     It keeps the party going.  It's what people remember.  I went to a wedding where the ceremony was at 5:00 and we didn't eat until 9 pm.  They ran out of food, and the caterer wasn't equipped to handle the amount of people.  People remembered that more than they remembered the great DJ.  








    Me too! Every time we have people over, whether we cooked or ordered in, we end up with an insane amount of leftovers and send people home with food.








    Me three! For DD's wedding we ordered extra cake because I didn't want to run out of cake ( the baker said not to plan on everyone eating cake - WTF!).








    Who (barring health or moral considerations) doesn't eat cake at a wedding?








    I usually don't.  

    I'm my experience wedding cakes tend to be too dry, and the frosting/fillings too sweet.  Plus ppl in my area are obsessed with burnt almond tortes- which I hate.

    I prefer the cookies and other pastries at weddings :-)






    I love cake and usually I'm so busy dancing I don't even notice it being served. 




    This is me, too. And by the time I realize there's cake and I want it H has already eaten his piece plus mine. 


    Add me to the list of people who rarely eats cake because I'm normally do not notice it's being served.

    At my wedding, we did the cut cutting, then while the guests ate the cake we did the spotlight dances.  Our dance floor was packed all night, if we didn't do it that way I'm pretty sure most people would not have had cake.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
    charlotte989875STARMOON44
  • SP29SP29 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Blasphemous! I love dancing at weddings, but I always stop for cake. I swear I can hear it being cut a mile away ;)
  • Ro041Ro041 member
    Sixth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    I hate cake.  HATE cake.  To the point where I used to cry at birthday parties as a kid because overbearing parents didn't believe me that I didn't want cake and would try to shove it in my face.  

    short+sassy




  • Ro041 said:


    I hate cake.  HATE cake.  To the point where I used to cry at birthday parties as a kid because overbearing parents didn't believe me that I didn't want cake and would try to shove it in my face.  





    I'm sure I had "extra friends" in elementary school because I'd give up most of my frosting to whoever I was sitting next to, lol.

    I didn't hate cake, but I didn't really care for it either.  It was just there.  I usually ate it because I was "supposed to" and was "supposed to" really like it.  And that's where eating disorders start, lol.

    Then when I got older, I discovered cream cheese frosting and my world was opened up.  It's still the only kind of frosting I really like, but usually only if I make it myself.  Most people put too much sugar in it.  My cream cheese frosting is HEAVY on the cream cheese and has more tang. 



    That's how I like my cream cheese frosting!  P.S. - not sure how you feel about red velvet cake, but there is ONE - only one - bakery in the Boston area that makes an amazing red velvet cake with cream cheese frosting that lives up to our standards. 

    I never liked ice cream cake - but ate it at birthday parties because that was what was expected of me. I still don't like it. But at least as an adult it's acceptable to politely decline cake. 
    charlotte989875short+sassyPrettyGirlLost
  • Cake is so weird in our home.   Chiquita loves frosting and doesn't eat cake.   Chiquito doesn't want cake at all and DH wants Carvel cake.

    I love cake and every year dare DH to bake for me.    Hasn't happened yet. 
    charlotte989875









  • Ro041 said:



    I hate cake.  HATE cake.  To the point where I used to cry at birthday parties as a kid because overbearing parents didn't believe me that I didn't want cake and would try to shove it in my face.  







    I'm sure I had "extra friends" in elementary school because I'd give up most of my frosting to whoever I was sitting next to, lol.

    I didn't hate cake, but I didn't really care for it either.  It was just there.  I usually ate it because I was "supposed to" and was "supposed to" really like it.  And that's where eating disorders start, lol.

    Then when I got older, I discovered cream cheese frosting and my world was opened up.  It's still the only kind of frosting I really like, but usually only if I make it myself.  Most people put too much sugar in it.  My cream cheese frosting is HEAVY on the cream cheese and has more tang. 





    That's how I like my cream cheese frosting!  P.S. - not sure how you feel about red velvet cake, but there is ONE - only one - bakery in the Boston area that makes an amazing red velvet cake with cream cheese frosting that lives up to our standards. 

    I never liked ice cream cake - but ate it at birthday parties because that was what was expected of me. I still don't like it. But at least as an adult it's acceptable to politely decline cake. 



    For anyone else who enjoys a tangier cream cheese frosting, cut the sugar in half for most recipes.  My H has a big sweet tooth and even he prefers that ratio.  I personally like it even better cut by 2/3rds.  But that is definitely starting to get more into the realm of a sweetened cream cheese, instead of the other way around, lol.  I grew up on the West Coast and never heard of Red Velvet Cake until I moved to NOLA.  But it is really popular out here.

    I have a Boston Cream Pie story.  I've only been to Boston once and it happened to be this last Sept.  While we were taking one of those bus tours, they pointed out the hotel where the Boston Cream Pie originated from.  It just so happened we were back in that same area the next day at the end of a walking tour.

    What better way to pile back on the calories we lost walking?  So my H and I stopped in to split a piece.  We were both a bit disappointed :(.  It was a lot more cake than creamy pudding.  Whereas, I've always liked the pudding part more.  Beautiful and fancy hotel, though.  We did enjoy lounging around at one of the tables in the lobby having our sweet treat and afternoon coffee. 

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    sparklepants41
















  • Ro041 said:




    I hate cake.  HATE cake.  To the point where I used to cry at birthday parties as a kid because overbearing parents didn't believe me that I didn't want cake and would try to shove it in my face.  









    I'm sure I had "extra friends" in elementary school because I'd give up most of my frosting to whoever I was sitting next to, lol.

    I didn't hate cake, but I didn't really care for it either.  It was just there.  I usually ate it because I was "supposed to" and was "supposed to" really like it.  And that's where eating disorders start, lol.

    Then when I got older, I discovered cream cheese frosting and my world was opened up.  It's still the only kind of frosting I really like, but usually only if I make it myself.  Most people put too much sugar in it.  My cream cheese frosting is HEAVY on the cream cheese and has more tang. 







    That's how I like my cream cheese frosting!  P.S. - not sure how you feel about red velvet cake, but there is ONE - only one - bakery in the Boston area that makes an amazing red velvet cake with cream cheese frosting that lives up to our standards. 

    I never liked ice cream cake - but ate it at birthday parties because that was what was expected of me. I still don't like it. But at least as an adult it's acceptable to politely decline cake. 





    For anyone else who enjoys a tangier cream cheese frosting, cut the sugar in half for most recipes.  My H has a big sweet tooth and even he prefers that ratio.  I personally like it even better cut by 2/3rds.  But that is definitely starting to get more into the realm of a sweetened cream cheese, instead of the other way around, lol.  I grew up on the West Coast and never heard of Red Velvet Cake until I moved to NOLA.  But it is really popular out here.

    I have a Boston Cream Pie story.  I've only been to Boston once and it happened to be this last Sept.  While we were taking one of those bus tours, they pointed out the hotel where the Boston Cream Pie originated from.  It just so happened we were back in that same area the next day at the end of a walking tour.

    What better way to pile back on the calories we lost walking?  So my H and I stopped in to split a piece.  We were both a bit disappointed :(.  It was a lot more cake than creamy pudding.  Whereas, I've always liked the pudding part more.  Beautiful and fancy hotel, though.  We did enjoy lounging around at one of the tables in the lobby having our sweet treat and afternoon coffee. 


    H loves Boston Cream Pie. I'm just meh on it. The cake is flavorless IMO and it's hard to find a place that makes the custard the way I like it. 
    short+sassy
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