My DIL's sister is getting married. My DIL's family is very close. Her siblings all live in the same city. Whenever we visit my son and DIL, we always see her siblings at least once. My husband and I usually take everyone out to dinner, and we include the siblings' boyfriends'/girlfriends'. My granddaughter, son, and DIL are all in the wedding. I have heard it has always been tradition to invite . .... but I don't know. The couple is not on a tight budget and there should be room for us. I like the young couple and I think they are fond of us. My granddaughter's 2 year birthday is 4 days after the wedding so we will want to fly out to help her celebrate. But I have a feeling we won't be invited to the wedding. Feeling blue about it.
Re: Hoping to be invited to DIL's sister's wedding
There are a multitude of reasons that you may not be invited that you cannot take personally. You don't know their finances, space limitations, etc.
You, of course, can still go visit for your graddaughter's birthday (and plan to arrive after the wedding). Maybe you could offer to pick up the kids at bedtime so the parents can stay out. Otherwise go out to a nice meal with your husband while everyone is busy.
Whilst you are friendly with the couple, you are not close, so you cannot take this as a personal affront that you were not invited.
So the idea that just because the couple doesn't have a tight budget that means they can fit you in really comes off as very entitled. No one is owed an invitation, no matter the couple's budget or even their relationship to the couple. I could have a $100K budget and not plan to invite my own aunts and uncles and that would be okay for me to do (or not do, as the case may be).
I don't think you mean to come off that way, so just take a step back on this. Even if you can't celebrate with them the day of, if you're planning on being there a few days later you can still celebrate with them then.
Why not talk to your son and DIL and ask what they're plans are for that weekend besides the wedding? Maybe offer (as a PP said) to pick up your granddaughter from the reception so the parents can stay out, and celebrate her birthday the next day?
My brother and his FI broke up, but if he were to get married, I don't see him inviting my MIL. Honestly, I really don't think you should be feeling sad about being left out.
Why not talk to your son and see what they have planned for your granddaughter's birthday? Maybe you can plan something separately.
I like PPs idea of taking with your son and DIL about the idea of visiting for granddaughter's second birthday, and volunteering to spend the later evening with her so they can spend some reception time with family or friends who will be attending.
I won't be inviting my FSIL's parents to my wedding even though they host us every year for the niece and nephew's birthday party. They're nice enough people, but they're not my friends.
It's ok to be bummed, but you should not expect an invitation to anyone's wedding. Do not broach this subject with your son or your DIL. Wait for a Save the Date or invitation.
I won't tell you not to be disappointed because we can't help how we feel about things, but please don't hold it against DIL's family if you aren't invited. Just focus on seeing your granddaughter and celebrating her birthday; wedding or no wedding, that will still be a very happy occasion.
We'll have cake at our house, but all the grandparents live 4 hours away. If they want to plan a visit in conjunction with a birthday, that's fine with me, but I'm not specifically inviting them to come that far just for the kid's favorite dinner and cake with her parents. I'm sure they'll call or Skype.