Just wanted to rant a little about a family friend who is getting married. Less about her and more about her mom I guess.
Got her invitation in the mail for her July wedding. I got it in March. My wedding is in June and I am not sending out invites until the end of April which I think by some people's standards is already a little early so I was surprised to get hers so early.
There were a number of things within the invite that I have learned from looking through these boards are etiquette no-nos. It requested a formal dress code (it's a country club wedding, not sure why formal is necessary), mentioned where to find her registry, said it was an adults only event, and then requested no box gifts. Wasn't sure what that meant but from what I've read online, it's a special way of saying please bring us money.
RSVPs were requested by May 1, which also seemed a little early to me. I tried to RSVP a few times but was unable to because the website wasn't working properly.
Last week, her mom texted my mom upset that we had not responded to the invitation yet and angry that she had not received an invite for MY wedding! She told my mom that my invites were "way late going out." She said the main reason she is asking about our RSVPs is for a gift because "after all" she did send my brother a gift for his wedding. REALLY?? She was requesting my mom send her a daughter a gift because she sent one to my brother for his like 8 years ago. I promise, my mom has every intention of sending them a gift. I guess she didn't think of sending them a wedding gift 3 months early. My mom just told her that she planned to RSVP soon and that my invites would be going out soon. She's not one to engage with people like that. This woman is a friend from long ago and since she moved states 15 years ago, they haven't been close.
I am so irritated by all of this. The actual bride is well-intentioned and a sweet woman but she has been giving me terrible and unsolicited advice for my wedding for my entire engagement and I can't stand it. That's more of a minor annoyance. I just bite my tongue and say thank you. Someone tell me I'm not crazy to be so irritated by the mother though.
Re: Annoying Family Friends
Yes, they are committing multiple faux pas. You are responding in the only way you can with the "smile and nod" technique. You can't argue with crazy, but you can certainly take the high road.
I guess I have to wonder why this woman is on your guest list?
However, she did get a save the date, so I'll honor that. It's comforting to know she probably won't come because she's a grudge holder and won't want to make the trip from Texas to come to the wedding of someone she is apparently upset with.
This one is two feet tall. Have it monogrammed!
He wondered if maybe they asked for money as wedding gifts and a knottie was one of their guests.
Some people! Calling way before the RSVP date. Then blatantly admitting it is mainly because she is fishing for a gift for her daughter.
If I was your mom, I would have replied with a "sweet as pie" voice, "Oh! There must be some confusion. The invitation said 'no boxed gifts', so I just assumed they don't want a gift."
I realize that "boxed gifts" are often sent before the wedding. But it's been my experience that cash/checks are usually put in a wedding card and given to the couple at the wedding. That MOB seriously needs to hold her horses before she offends half the guest list.
@k&n62517, hopefully she'll just decline your wedding, like you're expecting.
I would be ecstatic if someone gifted me a metal chicken, lol. I love those guys.
When I first read it I thought she was basically requesting that no one get them any gifts because I had no idea what no boxed gifts meant. But she listed registry information and I went and checked it out. It's like Bed Bath and Beyond and Target.
Crying from laughing. And about to send H the link to the blog post.
I'd probably try to find something off registry from a really obscure (read hard to return) store and send that to her.