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Chit Chat
ahoywedding
member
Meal Train
in Chit Chat
Have any of you participated in a meal train? Our group of friends have begun setting them up as people have babies, and I just made my first meal earlier this week. I made a lasagna and brought it to my friend in the afternoon. Because it wasn't at meal time, I didn't cook it but I wrote the directions on the tin foil on top. My friend seemed kind of....taken aback...that she had to still cook it. Her husband works from home, so I didn't think "throw this in the oven for an hour at 350" was too much work. Did I do this wrong? Was I supposed to bring it already cooked? I just didn't think anyone would want a hot lasagna at 2 pm.
Re: Meal Train
You were fine to do what you did.
TBH, I probably would have done the same.
Also, TBH (and maybe I'm just that jaded by the people in MY life), but that reaction seemed a little... entitled to me.
I live the the idea of a meal train, but honestly some of that etiquette seems a little much; bring drinks, enough for leftovers, and breakfast for the morning? No. It's nice if people want to, but the idea that those things are expected run me the wrong way.
Yeah, I didn't care for that part either. If you want a meal brought for breakfast, put it on the meal train calendar, but there's nothing wrong with a bowl of cereal.
Not to sound completely cold-hearted, because I know that being a new parent is a lot of work, taxing, exhausting, etc., and I know how appreciative I'd be if someone wanted to help with meals.... but I just wonder what happened to self-sufficiency. I would never expect someone to bring me any number or type of meal (cooked or uncooked). I'm an adult. If I can bring a child into the world, I sure as hell better be able to independently care for the both of us.
I understand the concept of meal trains being a charitable help-a-friend-out kind of deal, but I'm starting to feel like they are almost a demand/expectation rather than a gift. Especially when the recipient of these gifts react like that.
I like the concept of a meal train but it's not a catering service. If you want people to bring you food that's hot when you're hungry get fucking take out.
We do what you did though OP...I wouldn't deliver a hot lasagna at 2pm either.
You took the thoughts right out of my head. This is coming from someone who has had 2 babies in 2 years and never once asked anyone to bring me anything except the Chinese restaurant down the street. I ate a lot of frozen burritos otherwise. We had 2 people bring us meals after each baby and I was thankful for them and not at all put out that they didn't bring breakfast for the next day.
Here would be my list:
1. Wash your hands before making the food
2. Try to otherwise be sanitary when cooking
3. When you drop off your food, leave any instructions re: how to finish the meal
4. Assume your friend has plates and utensils (they are adults, after all)
5. Feel good that you went out of your way and did something nice for your friend.
I'm for the same thought tbh. I haven't had kids, so maybe my mind will change because everyone's reaction to having kids is different .... however one thing I see on Pinterest a lot are things for meal planning before having babies - or in general.
Basically throwing together different meals so you can throw in crockpot, on a pan, in oven, etc really quick.
And if you're bringing something in a container that needs to be heated it's probably recyclable. That has more to do with the environment than the recipient.
FWIW, if you have a dishwasher it's not much different to load that than it is to take out the trash.
For example, helping with laundry or watching child while new mom sleeps for an hour {even if the little one is sleeping the entire time}
Tbh I think I would appreciate that more than so many meals.
Moms on here, thoughts?
YES!!! That's one of the biggest complaints about people coming over after the baby is born. They'll say, "Here let me hold the baby while you do laundry/dishes/cook" instead of "...while you shower/nap/have a coffee/some other activity to allow you to feel human."
Something like a lasagna though would need about as long to reheat in an oven. If it's a full tray that's dense and would be a really long reheat with dry out potential.
It's not really halfway, though, more like 3/4. And fresh lasagna is so much better than reheated IMO.
If it was brought right before a meal time, I would agree. But if you bring me a cooked lasagna at 2 pm in the afternoon, I'm still going to have to turn on the oven and reheat it for dinner at 6. Literally all the recipient has to do is a preheat the oven and pop it in.
Microwave. Why would you reheat and entire tray of lasagna for 2 people?
Look, some people just aren't cooks and aren't comfortable with it. When you bring a meal, I think bringing something that is in fact cooked is wise.
It's gummy and worse in a microwave. It also gets terrible cold spots due to density and you can't stir it for even heating without ruining the look.
I never reheat casseroles in the microwave. Always a toaster oven. Always.
Some people aren't cooks but even they can handle frozen foods. There's an entire section by Stouffer's of frozen casseroles. If I use one I'm heating. Not cooking.
We will have to agree to disagree here. I don't think the OP did anything wrong. In fact, I would have preferred her approach. Perhaps in the future she could ask the parents if they prefer cooked or assembled in an email or text first. Then they can decide.
I'm glad I didn't see that etiquette list though, because I definitely was not going to bring drinks or breakfast. (Although maybe ordering a pizza would have been easier! haha)
I agree that the whole idea seems a little...off, and I felt weird signing up for it. The website has a place where the couple can list food allergies, dislikes, etc which is helpful but also allows people to be stupid picky, and I don't know how I feel about that. I feel like I would maybe rather prepare my own freezer meals ahead of time.
I don't think she did a terrible thing or anything, just that it makes sense to me her friend was surprised it wasn't cooked.
I was thinking how much my mum appreciated it when my nana came and helped out after I was born. Due to a lot of complications with her, my mum never was taught things at the hospital so that's how it started as. Then it was "oh go lie down, if the baby makes a peep I will bring her up" {nervous new mother and all} but it gave my mum those few minutes to nap and shower with some calm.
I always had to squeeze in a shower while the baby was sleeping. This was usually only after I had gotten into such a funk that I smelled like cheese (a perk of breastfeeding).
My friend self promoted her meal train on facebook. She didn't set it up, her friend did, but she put a link to her page and said "hey if you can contribute, it would help me out a lot". I felt like that was very self entitled on her part. Don't get me wrong, great idea - but people have been doing meal trains for new moms for years. Didn't need this much organization!
My mum admits that was her first mistake, not doing things while I slept. However, with her complications she wasn't really "up to par" when she came home {she lied to hospital to come home} With those issues, a normal 20min shower was closer to 45min shower.
I'd be lying if I didn't admit to giggling at the cheese scent - I shouldn't laugh but the idea is funny :P
Go ahead and laugh! I had to or I'd cry. It's just so easy to not want to put the baby down so you forget to do basic necessities.
PS - I currently smell like maple syrup.