Bridal Shower Etiquette

MairePoppy

MandyMost said:

Let's look at some numbers:

13 + 9 aunts/uncles x2 (spouses) = 44 people
2 Parents + 4 Grandparents + 2(guessing here) siblings (x2 dates) = 10 people
The bridal couple = 2 people

That's a total of 56 people. So I assume you're also inviting 44 friends to get to that 100-person guest list. 

Averaging 2.5 cousins per aunt/uncle (you said at least 2), x2 dates = 110 additional people (55 cousins, plus 55 dates). 

Just family you're looking at 166 people, plus the 44 friends = 200 people.

If you have money for a nice wedding and reception for 100 people and a BBQ for 200 people, then you definitely have the money for a single event for 200 people. 

The other 44 guests might be the wedding party and the groom's family.

PrettyGirlLost

Knottie0b87b1d1bbe88353 said:

Thank you all for your helpful information and some for your not so helpful and frankly RUDE comments.  My dad is one of 13 and my mom is one of 9 with all of my aunts and uncles having at least 2 kids.  The purpose of the "I Do BBQ" is to celebrate with my family (which if you have a close family you will know that they WILL care to celebrate with you) without having to pay an arm and a leg to do so, seeing as my fiancée and I are paying for everything ourselves.  The question was not to see how many gifts I can get but trying not to offend my girl cousins when I invite their mothers to the shower and not them.  But thank you to those who legit answered my question without imparting your own judgements to a stranger with a question. Geeze.

My husband's father is 1 of 7 and there are 20+ 1st cousins. . . we had a 2 year engagement so that we could have both the fancy wedding that we wanted AND invite EVERYONE that we wanted to our actual wedding.

If these cousins are really that close to you, they will be offended not to be invited to your actual wedding, and an I Do BBQ isn't going to make them happier or feel more included.  It will only serve to remind them that they weren't invited to the wedding.

If you really wanted to celebrate your wedding with your cousins, you'd find a way to make it work so that you can invite them.