Dear Prudence,
I have a friend, “Ally,” who was recently deployed out of the country. We met a couple years ago and have several mutual friends. This group is pretty tight-knight, and everyone knows and loves Ally, who’s extremely outgoing. She’s told me several times that she doesn’t like to be alone, and over the last nine months I’ve felt her become more and more demanding of my time and attention. For example, if I wanted to take a break and be alone, she would ask me point-blank if I actually wanted to take a break, or if I were using an excuse to not hang out with her. She began getting upset every time it took me too long to answer text messages (I work about 20 hours a week, go to school full-time, and volunteer) and calling me out if I failed to respond quickly enough in a group text. I try my best to respond to messages but sometimes things fall through the cracks!
After she left for basic training she became even more demanding that everyone write her letters; however, she never responded to one that I wrote to her, and only replied to the group letter we all sent her. I’ve tried to bring my concerns up to other friends of mine (including the ones in the group text) but they don’t seem to be as concerned about it as I do and make excuses for her, such as “she’s sad she’s graduating sooner than all of her other friends,” or “maybe she’s just stressed,” etc. I’ve tried multiple times to give her the benefit of the doubt but she keeps making these kinds of comments, and it’s making me resent her. What should I do?