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Wedding Etiquette Forum
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[Deleted User]
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Asking guests to wear bright colours?
My FI wants to add to the bottom of the wedding invite:
'Dress code: Please wear whatever feels comfortable, but in order to celebrate our multicultural wedding, wearing bright colours is encouraged!'
Rude or not?
'Dress code: Please wear whatever feels comfortable, but in order to celebrate our multicultural wedding, wearing bright colours is encouraged!'
Rude or not?
Re: Asking guests to wear bright colours?
Rude. You absolutely cannot tell people what to wear.
I own nothing brightly colored even on a casual level, let alone wedding appropriate.
If you want bright colors, why not offer every guest some type of wand with brightly colored ribbons attached to it.
I mean, its a wedding, so people are going to wear bright colours anyway. Especially if it is an Afro-Carribean/Indian wedding (I think you mentioned previously that was what it was).
Think about it this way: if I invited you to dinner and said 'you are encouraged to bring wine' technically it isn't mandatory, but it is a fairly clear instruction. And you would think that was rather demanding.
Do you really think people are going to dress in sombre colours for your wedding? If you want photos with bright colours, you should pay for those ribbons on sticks, bright confetti, and decorations. You shouldn't ask people to wear certain attire.
Putting anything about what to wear on an invitation is against etiquette.
There are many ways to indicate that your event will be bright & colourful, which will encourage guests to dress in a similar manner if they want to. If your invitation suite has colours, make them bright & bold instead of soft pastels. Ditto if you have a website. If people ask about your planning, you can share some elements of the decor that convey how lively & festive the venue will feel. I assume most guests know you/your FI well enough to sense the types of parties you like to throw, but if they don't this will show them it won't be a subdued wedding.
The key here is that the above just hints to guests who like to wear bright clothing that they don't need to tone it down, but those who don't like to wear bright colours won't feel like it's expected of them.
I went to a wedding that explicitly asked for formal attire (even though invites would not have led me to think it was a formal wedding) and even though t was listed on the invite, website, and church program there were many people not dressed formally. People will wear what they have.
Unless you are going to throw people out of your wedding over the color of their clothing (seriously??), it's not mandatory, regardless. Which makes putting this line on your invitations unnecessary, not to mention poor etiquette.
If people ask, you can mention it. My brother is getting married in a few weeks (squee!) and when I was asking him about wedding stuff, he mentioned that I could wear traditional Pakistani formalwear, as several of the bride's friends were planning to do. (His bride is British of Pakistani parents; we are American.) If people ask, there is nothing wrong with saying "We expect that a lot of our guests will wear bright, festive colors, which is traditional for us" (or whatever), but it's poor hosting to make this request outright, let along print it on your invitations.
Save your mental energy for issues that matter, not whether your guests' clothing is bright enough. They can wear whatever they like.
Same goes for your guests. Personally, I LOVE bright colors and have a ton of things that would work, but you kind of put people in a weird spot. They maybe have to wear something they don't particularly feel comfortable in, maybe they have to buy something new, and if they don't wear bright colors, they're going to stick out and probably feel like an ass.
The only time dress code is okay is when it's dictated by the venue (like a country club saying no jeans, men have to wear jackets, etc) or if the event truly is black tie.
They didn't need to put it on their invitations, even for a cultural outsider like me. Your guests can dress themselves.
Just leave it out. You might have a few guests who didn't realize bright colors were appropriate and would be glad for the notice. However you will have way more guests who:
It's not worth annoying (and possibly really putting out) the bulk of your guests.
Personal story- I asked my BMs to pick their dress color and it was unanimously black- a good 80% of our wedding guests wore black, and it was an incredibly lively, fun, high energy wedding. Guests aren't props and their clothing won't impact the vibe of your wedding.