• Images
  • Text
  • Find a Couple + Registry
GO
Wedding Woes

Update: It's real! - 0.o A legitimate case of stolen thunder

lovesclimbinglovesclimbing Alaska member
Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
edited June 2017 in Wedding Woes
Can you believe this? It's from the Monday/Tuesday Dear Prudence chat. 

Q. My husband’s best friend proposed to his girlfriend during our wedding ceremony: My husband and I started dating, got pregnant, had a child, moved in together, bought a house, and got a dog in that order. Our friends and family have asked us for years why we weren’t married yet. We always pushed it off to build better lives. We’ve done really well for ourselves and finally reached a point where we could afford a huge blowout wedding to celebrate our lives with everyone we know and love. My husband’s best friend, “John,” was the best man/officiant. The setting was beautiful, everyone seemed happy, our families were overjoyed. My mom may have used the phrase hallelujah a few dozen times. The entire atmosphere felt moving. So moving in fact that John stopped midceremony to propose to his longtime girlfriend, “Jane,” and reveal her pregnancy. I couldn’t even hear the vows my husband wrote or the rest of the ceremony over the noise of Jane’s happy sobs, her very surprised family who were also guests, and people seated nearby congratulating her. Even the videographer cut to her frequently during the ceremony, and you can’t hear anything over the chatter. When John gave his toast, he apologized for being caught up in the moment, and then proceeded to talk about he and Jane’s future with nary a mention of us. During the reception John and Jane became the primary focus of our guests. John even went out of his way to ask the band for a special dance for just him and Jane on the dance floor. I’ve never been an attention hog, and I wouldn’t even have minded if he’d proposed after the ceremony, but weeks later I am still seething. I am so shocked and angry that I keep asking myself if this is real life. My husband hasn’t spoken to John since the wedding, and our mutual friends think what he did was rude but that my husband should just get over it. My husband has joked that he’ll resume his friendship when John and Jane give him a $40,000 check for “their half of the wedding.” Do you think John’s behavior warrants the end of a long-term friendship, or are we angry over nothing?

Update: From today's Dear Prudie chat. 

Q. Wedding Year: Our local news station in Philadelphia posted the actual videofor the dolt who proposed to his pregnant girlfriend at his best friend’s wedding. I was hoping the letter was a hoax but evidently it wasn’t.

http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2017/06/dear_prudence_i_work_and_do_all_of_the_parenting.html

Re: Update: It's real! - 0.o A legitimate case of stolen thunder


  • kvruns said:

    part of me just can't believe it is true. The officiant stopping the ceremony midway to propose? What ?!  That sounds like a Kanye thing or something


    He's the best man/officiant so that might be why
    OurWildKingdom

  • *Barbie* said:

    If only there was a way for LW to have another baby and give birth in the middle of John and Jane's wedding. Like climb up on the cake table and push a baby out of her vagina. They could double up cord and cake cutting. 


    ma'am, you are a thinker!
    OurWildKingdomTrixieJessMesmrEwe
  • I had a friend (J) years ago who had a bridesmaid that was crazy, laser-focused on getting married.  I don't think the role of "groom" especially mattered, lol.  She told J a few weeks before the wedding, "OMG!  Wouldn't it be amazing if B/F proposed to me at your reception!"  J told her, "NO! NO!  That is NOT happening.  You better make sure that isn't happening.  I'm warning you."

    I know it was something J was worried about after that convo.  However, she did not need to fear.  That BM's b/f never did propose to her.  Nor did her next victim guy.

    Full disclosure, that woman was my (then) b/f's ex-g/f.  She was an enormous bitch to me, every chance she got.  So there was obviously no love lost, lol!  She also tried to get J to tell my b/f that he was not allowed to bring me to the wedding.  J shut that idea down also.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    OurWildKingdom
  • Wow. Totally rude stealing someone's thunder like that. They could have gotten engaged quietly and told people about it later. I'd be angry forever about that one too.
    short+sassy
  • Holy shit. No. Just no. Serious friendship ending move. 
    short+sassy
  • ei34ei34 member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    For the first sentence or two I was thinking "here comes the overreacting".  But John's behavior was heinous.  And the vendors were super unprofessional!
  • ...and this is the reason to hire a professional to officiate the ceremony... WOW!

    During the reception, with clearance of bride and groom, just fine IMO, but that - NOPE!  Friendship ending move...
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    InLoveInQueens
  • I feel so sad and furious for LW. We've waited a long time to get married, and if someone pulled this sort of thing I wouldn't be able to continue the friendship. I don't love being the center of attention or anything, but "John" just crossed all the lines, both as a "best friend" and officiant. 
    MesmrEwe
  • I think LW does need to get over it or better stated, move past it.

    They can't change the past and they can't get a redo.   I can completely get on board with this being an issue with the friendship but they need to move beyond it as an issue in their lives.    In the grand scheme of things they got married and had a wedding and they're happy and healthy.   So hopefully this isn't something that creates an angry attitude all the time.

    Buuuut when it comes to the friendship I'd wait until I was truly calm and would be rather clear with why I'm irritated and why that wasn't the time.  If they showed no regret for their actions I'd wash my hands of that friendship.

    And absolutely I'd be upset with my vendors who opted to showcase something other than what they were hired to do.   I'd look at breach of contract to see if there were ways that portions of the payment could be refunded. 


    SP29
  • Omg how rude!!! I would be so pissed why is your special day have to be their special day to pop a question. Could he not come up with any better ideas???? I would be so pissed.
    short+sassy


  • John and Jane owe LW a HUGE apology! I got halfway through this before my jaw dropped and I said "WHAT?!"


    And you know she'd never get that apology, because the kind of person who is delusional enough to propose/announce a pregnancy LITERALLY IN THE MIDDLE OF OFFICIATING A WEDDING is going to call her a Bridezilla
    short+sassykimmiinthemittenOurWildKingdom
  • kimmiinthemittenkimmiinthemitten Detroit, MI member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    I saw this shared 3 times on FB over the weekend.
    image
    MesmrEwe
  • lovesclimbinglovesclimbing Alaska member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Update: From today's Dear Prudie chat. 

    Q. Wedding Year: Our local news station in Philadelphia posted the actual videofor the dolt who proposed to his pregnant girlfriend at his best friend’s wedding. I was hoping the letter was a hoax but evidently it wasn’t.

    http://www.slate.com/articles/life/dear_prudence/2017/06/dear_prudence_i_work_and_do_all_of_the_parenting.html

  • kvrunskvruns member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Am I the only one who didn't see the actual video - I saw the newscast about it but no actual footage? 
  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom South Jersey member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    This is my local station and I saw their article when they first posted it.  That isn't footage of the actual wedding.  They just used a random wedding ceremony and blurred it.  It's not THE wedding ceremony mentioned in the Prudie letter.
  • lovesclimbinglovesclimbing Alaska member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Oh really? :( I'm trying to conserve my phone data so I didn't actually watch the whole video. 

    Sorry for the false alarm!

Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards