Bridesmaid Dress HELP

caitlinm9

Hello!

I'm the MOH for my best friend's wedding and we've run into a couple snaffus with the darn dresses. There's 3 including me and the bride has decided on the color and length, but wants to have a little more say in the dress as far as fit ect. 

I'm a pain because I'm currently pregnant and will be breastfeeding during the wedding so I need a sturdier top to support me. 

We originally went to Alfred Angelo and found 3 dresses. One bridesmaid and I fell in love with 1, but the third bridesmaid really didn't like any of them. 

So the bride decided to start over again and went online. We decided on dresses on jjshouse, but all the reviews scare me. Thisis especially since I really can't judge my size and the customer support lady told me to wait until a MONTH before the wedding and have all the girls order at the same time so they're the same color. That's a little tight for my liking.

All 3 bridesmaids live in different states and the bride is in the military. She currently out of the country for the next month-ish so communication is spotty (the poor thing called me from the airport when we were nailing down dresses.)

So, any recommendations as far as what others have done? I'm considering trying to talk to her about letting us just pick our own dress in the length and color, but it may be a bit before I can talk to her again.

Any success with JJshouse? Besides Alfred Angelo and David's Bridal, anyone know of a bridal salon that's across the US?

Thank you in advance!

CMGragain

I can only advise you that your cup size WILL change, maybe drastically.  One of my daughter's bridesmaids was in your position.  They decided to order a small swatch of fabric with the dress, and made a little triangle filler to make the dress look a bit more modest for her.  It worked.
I have heard very mixed reviews about JJ's House.

Heffalump

caitlinm9 said:

So, any recommendations as far as what others have done? I'm considering trying to talk to her about letting us just pick our own dress in the length and color, but it may be a bit before I can talk to her again.

Honestly, this sounds like the best solution for all of you.  Is the bride open to you three wearing similar color and length but different dresses?  That way, you and the BM who liked one can order that one, the remaining bridesmaid can surely find something within those color/length parameters, and the bride won't have to try to manage this process over long distance when she obviously has her hands full with more important things.

FWIW, you're right about the cup size.  I went up one cup size permanently with each of my two kids, even after the rest of the baby weight was (finally) gone.  And sometimes your weight is redistributed post-baby, even aside from your bra size.  With all those variables, I would try to stay as flexible as possible. 

charlotte989875

I would also try and talk toy her about letting you all pick your own in the selected color/style/store. Alfredo Angelo will have tons of options (I've order twice from them with good results both times), I don't know much about JJs House but the reviews seem pretty mixed. 

Honestly with her out of town, with you pregnant (congratulations BTW!), the best option is just to let you pick your own. 

JaxInBlue

Me too!  About the cup size thing that is.  I was a solid C cup before DS came along and now I'm ... not.  I also feel like the fit of things in my hips changed.  

In addition to trying to have a dialogue about parameters for attire, you might also want to look at some non-bridal stories.  Places like Macys or J. Crew, even Target, have options that might be suitable, can be ordered online or bought in-store, and have more manageable return policies.  

southernbelle0915

If this is a bride who wants to specify length, color, fit, and cut, I would not expect her to be excited about the suggestion for everyone to just do their own thing. Honestly, I wouldn't even suggest it, but that's just me.

You're MOH right? If dye lot/shade is a concern (it's really not in this day and age), what about having a completely different color dress for the MOH? That might be a suggestion the bride would go for. So pick a dress from JJ's for the other BMs and then you order yours a month out from the wedding in another color - same style and fabric, but a different color (and possibly cut, if the other BMs pick strapless).

As a mom who breastfed, I can tell you your boobs will change. Mine were 3 cup sizes bigger. Yes THREE. You'll want to get the dress ordered/altered as close to the wedding as you can to avoid "this doesn't fit" stress. 

MandyMost

Ordering at the same time from the same place to get the same dye lot used to matter back when the dyes were hand-mixed. It's a moot point now. Everything's computerized. It doesn't matter when you order or from which store...an Alfred Angelo red is going to be the same color. 

Most bridal stores will carry some of the same lines. Think about wedding dresses--you don't go to an "Allure" store to get an Allure brand dress, lots of stores carry Allure. Same as Maggie Sotero, Vera Wang, etc. If you go to a store and find a dress you like, you can easily look up online stores in other areas/parts of the country that sell the same line. 

caitlinm9

Thank you everyone!! You've definitely given me a couple more options to think about. For those that have gone through the breastfeeding/bridesmaid dress scenario already, what size did you order? And how close to the wedding did you order your dress?

This will be my second so I totally understand about cup size increasing, but I also know every pregnancy is different as well so I don't want to go off my first pregnancy experience just in case. On jjshouse I just went by my bust since it's an empire and it has me 3 sizes larger than my "normal" which also makes me nervous. The lady at Alfred Angelo had me at 2 sizes larger than my normal I believe and she measured me when I was about 16ish weeks. Is it possible for a dress to be too big for alterations? 

southernbelle0915

caitlinm9 said:

Thank you everyone!! You've definitely given me a couple more options to think about. For those that have gone through the breastfeeding/bridesmaid dress scenario already, what size did you order? And how close to the wedding did you order your dress?

This will be my second so I totally understand about cup size increasing, but I also know every pregnancy is different as well so I don't want to go off my first pregnancy experience just in case. On jjshouse I just went by my bust since it's an empire and it has me 3 sizes larger than my "normal" which also makes me nervous. The lady at Alfred Angelo had me at 2 sizes larger than my normal I believe and she measured me when I was about 16ish weeks. Is it possible for a dress to be too big for alterations? 

What is your due date and what is the date of the wedding?

DrillSergeantCat

I was pregnant at the wedding I was in in October. We had to order our dresses 3 months early because we were using a David's Bridal color on a Vera Wang dress. I had it altered 2 weeks prior to the wedding and they put a rush on it to be sure it fit and was ready in time. 

FWIW I went from an F to a K cup. 

caitlinm9

My due date is July 25th and the wedding is November 11th. 

charlotte989875

I've never been pregnant, but you should definitely have enough time to order well after you've delivered to order in time for the wedding. 

korinda76

Regarding alterations, if you order too big, you can usually go three sizes down before it really effects the structure of the dress.  My MOH's mother is a master seamstress and made every gown my MOH has ever worn - prom, wedding, MOH, etc.  I've seen her tailor dresses like you would not believe when things go wrong.  If something happens and you need to go down a size, talk with a good tailor ahead of time so you can have a plan.  That way at least you'll feel like you have something in the works in case you need significant alterations.

southernbelle0915

caitlinm9 said:

My due date is July 25th and the wedding is November 11th. 

If that's the case, I would order the dress mid-September. That'll be after your 6 week appointment and you'll have a better idea of what normal will feel like (as much as you can at that point anyway). That'll give you 6 weeks to get sized, get the dress, get it altered, etc. It's plenty of time.