Hello! First I wanted to introduce myself. I am getting married in September to the most amazing man I have ever met. We have been together 3 years and cannot wait to tie the knot. He's so sweet, funny, kind, etc. But enough about him! I have been lurking for over a year now while planning, but never needed to post because I always found a discussion that answered my questions. Thank you all, by the way, for all of the unintentional answers
Over the last 3-4 weeks we found out that FI's sister and BIL are getting divorced. We don't know a ton of details, but we know it's not pretty (the cops have been called a few times). We have repeatedly told his sister that if there is anything we can do to let us know. We only live about 10 minutes away and are always more than happy to take their kids for a night.
They (FSIL, F(soon to be ex)BIL, and kids) are in our wedding party, but today FI's sister asked him what we want to do about the wedding. This had crossed our minds earlier, but we decided to wait and see where everything falls later. She wants to know asap. Of course we still want her and the kids in our wedding, but we aren't too keen on keeping her husband in it. We understand the consequences of asking him to not be apart of the wedding, but the way he has been treating FSIL and the rest of the family truly makes us not want him there. Is there a tactful way of going about this? Does FI tell FSIL just to wait? I don't want her thinking that we are "taking his side" because we definitely are not. What are your suggestions?