I need some help with phrasing and potentially avoiding family conflict. The bride is my sister.
She got engaged and found the right guy. I could not be any happier for her. So she started wedding planning and picking a date. She wanted me to be the matron of honor.... So here are when problems started:
1. She and her fiancé selected a wedding date in June. I am planning (and hoping) to have my first child around that time. I am a school teacher and do not get paid maternity leave, so having a summer birth is my only option to have a baby. I mentioned to her about my pregnancy plan and said that I will see what will happen when the date starts to get closer. She starts freaking out on me and tells me that I MUST try on a bridesmaid dress in September so that it can be ordered. My husband and I will be trying for a baby around then, so I won't even KNOW where to gauge my pregnancy by her wedding date to get the right measurements. She even goes forth as to say "I don't know if I can even have you in the wedding party then, but we'll see what happens." My mom even agrees with her and has spoken to me privately TWICE about how I maybe should drop out because of a pregnancy. Now my feelings are very hurt, especially with my mother interfering. I'm even more pressure to schedule my pregnancy based on what my family is telling me, which isn't right.
2. My sister is having a dilemma on planning to have two weddings. Her fiance's family are apart of a Methodist church and want a wedding ceremony at THEIR church. My dad is very gung-ho Catholic... Says that unless the wedding is in a Catholic Church, it is not a real "marriage" to him. He has threatened not show up and walk my sister down the aisle if she does not have a Catholic ceremony (even I have called him out for being wrong and demanding, and that the ceremony is up to the bride and groom). My dad is a big time bully and has caused problems with my wedding plans two years ago.
On top of it, my grandmother's health is deteriorating... So now the plan is for my sister to have two weddings... A Catholic one in the Fall for immediate family only so that my grandmother could attend, and a big fancy Methodist "wedding" ceremony of renewed vows in the Summer. Here's the catch- my sister does not plan to tell her friends that will be invited to the Summer ceremony that she is already married.
This whole thing is a hot mess. I want to be happy for my sister, but it has been compromised. I'm not sure what I should do or say about it. Can I get some help?