Bridesmaids and Bride satin robes

kristinalynn91

Hi there!

I'm getting married next fall, but I'm trying to get as many details figured out as quickly as possible. 

One of the things I've always loved is the satin robes the bide and the bridal party wears while they are getting ready.

I've done some looking around, and because I'm on a budget and I (of course) have a larger bridal party, buying for all of them would not be feasible if I don't want to break my bank planning this wedding.

Obviously, I could go without. I just love the look they have on those getting ready pictures. I was wondering, would it be too much to ask my bridal party to buy a robe? I found some that are around $20 per robe, which isn't bad, but I know I'm also asking them to pay for their dresses, the bachelorette party (painting with a twist + bar hopping), bridal shower gifts, wedding gifts, etc. Would this be asking too much? Has anyone found sets that are under $150 so I could possibly buy them as a gift and a "thank you" for being in my wedding?

Any advice is helpful, thank you!

southernbelle0915

kristinalynn91 said:

Hi there!

I'm getting married next fall, but I'm trying to get as many details figured out as quickly as possible. 

One of the things I've always loved is the satin robes the bide and the bridal party wears while they are getting ready.

I've done some looking around, and because I'm on a budget and I (of course) have a larger bridal party, buying for all of them would not be feasible if I don't want to break my bank planning this wedding.

Obviously, I could go without. I just love the look they have on those getting ready pictures. I was wondering, would it be too much to ask my bridal party to buy a robe? I found some that are around $20 per robe, which isn't bad, but I know I'm also asking them to pay for their dresses, the bachelorette party (painting with a twist + bar hopping), bridal shower gifts, wedding gifts, etc. Would this be asking too much? Has anyone found sets that are under $150 so I could possibly buy them as a gift and a "thank you" for being in my wedding?

Any advice is helpful, thank you!

Yes, it is asking too much. If you want them to wear the robes, you need to pay for them. 

Also, for their gift, this really shouldn't be just more things for your wedding. You're thanking your best friends for standing up for you on the most important day of your life. The very least, bare minimum you can do is to attempt to make it personal and not about you.  "I love the look of these satin robes, so your gift is to put the robe on and take photos with me" = not a good gift.

kristinalynn91

southernbelle0915 said:

kristinalynn91 said:

Hi there!

I'm getting married next fall, but I'm trying to get as many details figured out as quickly as possible. 

One of the things I've always loved is the satin robes the bide and the bridal party wears while they are getting ready.

I've done some looking around, and because I'm on a budget and I (of course) have a larger bridal party, buying for all of them would not be feasible if I don't want to break my bank planning this wedding.

Obviously, I could go without. I just love the look they have on those getting ready pictures. I was wondering, would it be too much to ask my bridal party to buy a robe? I found some that are around $20 per robe, which isn't bad, but I know I'm also asking them to pay for their dresses, the bachelorette party (painting with a twist + bar hopping), bridal shower gifts, wedding gifts, etc. Would this be asking too much? Has anyone found sets that are under $150 so I could possibly buy them as a gift and a "thank you" for being in my wedding?

Any advice is helpful, thank you!

Yes, it is asking too much. If you want them to wear the robes, you need to pay for them. 

Also, for their gift, this really shouldn't be just more things for your wedding. You're thanking your best friends for standing up for you on the most important day of your life. The very least, bare minimum you can do is to attempt to make it personal and not about you.  "I love the look of these satin robes, so your gift is to put the robe on and take photos with me" = not a good gift.

I've never thought of it that way!

That makes a lot of sense too. I don't want them to feel as if their thank you gift is centered around me.

I guess I'll have to see if I have the money to buy them for the girls in addition to a thank you gift, or just figure to go without them at all.

Thank you for the advice!

ILoveBeachMusic

Most regulars on this board will tell you not to do this! No you really can't ask them to buy the robes if you are wanting them to wear them. It should also not be considered their thank you gift for being in the wedding. Their gift should be something personal to each maid. Anything you are requiring them to wear isn't a gift.

As for the robes themselves, they are usually not something people will use again and are relatively cheap in quality. A lot of people (myself included) wouldn't want to wear something like that while having pictures taken. For busty, curvy women it is difficult not to fall out of those types of robes.

As for pictures, you will not be framing those for display in your home. You might not even pick one for your album depending on the cost and number of pictures that you are limited to having. Most people don't like to be photographed while partially dressed/undressed.

You also shouldn't ask them to pay for a bachelorette, shower or shower gifts. If someone OFFERS to host a party for you - great! If no one does then unfortunately you don't get one. I know this all might sound harsh, but don't be that bride that has all these requirements for the people who she is honoring by asking them to be in the wedding.

kristinalynn91

ILoveBeachMusic said:

Most regulars on this board will tell you not to do this! No you really can't ask them to buy the robes if you are wanting them to wear them. It should also not be considered their thank you gift for being in the wedding. Their gift should be something personal to each maid. Anything you are requiring them to wear isn't a gift.

As for the robes themselves, they are usually not something people will use again and are relatively cheap in quality. A lot of people (myself included) wouldn't want to wear something like that while having pictures taken. For busty, curvy women it is difficult not to fall out of those types of robes.

As for pictures, you will not be framing those for display in your home. You might not even pick one for your album depending on the cost and number of pictures that you are limited to having. Most people don't like to be photographed while partially dressed/undressed.

You also shouldn't ask them to pay for a bachelorette, shower or shower gifts. If someone OFFERS to host a party for you - great! If no one does then unfortunately you don't get one. I know this all might sound harsh, but don't be that bride that has all these requirements for the people who she is honoring by asking them to be in the wedding.

Okay, I'm thinking you guys talked me out of the robes! Haha. 

The bachelorette party is just something my friends and I have all assumed will happen, whether they throw it or I do, we've all discussed it before so I'll make sure to talk it over with all of them before making them pay for anything.

The bridal shower is being thrown by my mother, haha I had nothing to do with that one! 

I definitely see where you're coming from, however. It's very easy to get caught up in all the ideas you see floating around, you get so excited with everything you sort of forget about how it might come off due to your excitement! I definitely don't want to be that demanding bride that costs her wedding party a fortune. 

ILoveBeachMusic

Glad to see you have a great attitude. One more thing though, you shouldn't throw your own bach party. It is against etiquette to throw a party to honor ones self. I'm sure if y'all have discussed it, someone will plan it for you. You can give them preferences - like dates that work for you, activities you are opposed to doing but let them plan it (including asking for everyone's budget a head of making plans). If someone can't make it, don't be upset because sometimes people can't afford attending bach parties (or showers) and a wedding. Three of my DD's maids couldn't attend her shower - no big deal. They did attend the bach party. Sometimes life gets in the way.

Come back with any more questions. We are always willing to help. Good luck with all the planning.

kristinalynn91

ILoveBeachMusic said:

Glad to see you have a great attitude. One more thing though, you shouldn't throw your own bach party. It is against etiquette to throw a party to honor ones self. I'm sure if y'all have discussed it, someone will plan it for you. You can give them preferences - like dates that work for you, activities you are opposed to doing but let them plan it (including asking for everyone's budget a head of making plans). If someone can't make it, don't be upset because sometimes people can't afford attending bach parties (or showers) and a wedding. Three of my DD's maids couldn't attend her shower - no big deal. They did attend the bach party. Sometimes life gets in the way.

Come back with any more questions. We are always willing to help. Good luck with all the planning.

Good to know! I'll definitely take a step back from those aspects and be perfectly fine if they don't end up happening.

And no, I would never get upset with someone if they couldn't attend these things due to money issues or a schedule conflict, etc. Life most definitely gets in the way!

Thanks for all the advice and help!

ei34

After reading your original question I was getting ready to tear into the robe idea but now I just want to say that you have an amazing attitude OP!

InLoveInQueens

eileenrob said:

After reading your original question I was getting ready to tear into the robe idea but now I just want to say that you have an amazing attitude OP!


SITB


it's sad just how refreshing it is when an OP takes advice to heart. Good on you, OP, you sound really thoughtful. 

[Deleted User]

In Lieu of robes, I ordered Fishing Shirts for the Bridal Party, had them monogrammed. We will wear them getting ready, and almost all of the ladies are excited to wear them again. It was a little more expensive (and I have a smaller bridal party) but it is feasible because it's doubling as getting ready/thank you gifts. You may look at getting dress shirts, or something else. 

The one exception is that I was able to find a floral silk robe for my Flower Girl on Amazon for $17. She love ANYTHING girly, so she will be all over it. 

Best of Luck! 

southernbelle0915

brittany&andrew-2 said:

In Lieu of robes, I ordered Fishing Shirts for the Bridal Party, had them monogrammed. We will wear them getting ready, and almost all of the ladies are excited to wear them again. It was a little more expensive (and I have a smaller bridal party) but it is feasible because it's doubling as getting ready/thank you gifts. You may look at getting dress shirts, or something else. 

The one exception is that I was able to find a floral silk robe for my Flower Girl on Amazon for $17. She love ANYTHING girly, so she will be all over it. 

Best of Luck! 

I want to make sure I understand this correctly. Your gift to your best friends for supporting you on the most important day of your life is a fishing shirt with their name/initials on it? A monogrammed fishing shirt they're required to wear so you can have "omg cute insta pics"?

[Deleted User]

southernbelle0915 said:

brittany&andrew-2 said:

In Lieu of robes, I ordered Fishing Shirts for the Bridal Party, had them monogrammed. We will wear them getting ready, and almost all of the ladies are excited to wear them again. It was a little more expensive (and I have a smaller bridal party) but it is feasible because it's doubling as getting ready/thank you gifts. You may look at getting dress shirts, or something else. 

The one exception is that I was able to find a floral silk robe for my Flower Girl on Amazon for $17. She love ANYTHING girly, so she will be all over it. 

Best of Luck! 

I want to make sure I understand this correctly. Your gift to your best friends for supporting you on the most important day of your life is a fishing shirt with their name/initials on it? A monogrammed fishing shirt they're required to wear so you can have "omg cute insta pics"?

Absolutely not, I am giving my bridesmaids a monogrammed fishing shirt, that they all agreed on. I received a picture of them in a group text saying OMG we would love this. 

It may not be your style, but since we are a coastal group, it is ours. 

A little background: Fiance is a Captain, I work in Marine Industry, We live on an Island... Should I continue, or do you get the picture? 

climbingsingle

brittany&andrew-2 said:

southernbelle0915 said:

brittany&andrew-2 said:

In Lieu of robes, I ordered Fishing Shirts for the Bridal Party, had them monogrammed. We will wear them getting ready, and almost all of the ladies are excited to wear them again. It was a little more expensive (and I have a smaller bridal party) but it is feasible because it's doubling as getting ready/thank you gifts. You may look at getting dress shirts, or something else. 

The one exception is that I was able to find a floral silk robe for my Flower Girl on Amazon for $17. She love ANYTHING girly, so she will be all over it. 

Best of Luck! 

I want to make sure I understand this correctly. Your gift to your best friends for supporting you on the most important day of your life is a fishing shirt with their name/initials on it? A monogrammed fishing shirt they're required to wear so you can have "omg cute insta pics"?

Absolutely not, I am giving my bridesmaids a monogrammed fishing shirt, that they all agreed on. I received a picture of them in a group text saying OMG we would love this. 

It may not be your style, but since we are a coastal group, it is ours. 

A little background: Fiance is a Captain, I work in Marine Industry, We live on an Island... Should I continue, or do you get the picture? 

A shirt you're requiring them to wear is not a gift. 

southernbelle0915

brittany&andrew-2 said:

southernbelle0915 said:

brittany&andrew-2 said:

In Lieu of robes, I ordered Fishing Shirts for the Bridal Party, had them monogrammed. We will wear them getting ready, and almost all of the ladies are excited to wear them again. It was a little more expensive (and I have a smaller bridal party) but it is feasible because it's doubling as getting ready/thank you gifts. You may look at getting dress shirts, or something else. 

The one exception is that I was able to find a floral silk robe for my Flower Girl on Amazon for $17. She love ANYTHING girly, so she will be all over it. 

Best of Luck! 

I want to make sure I understand this correctly. Your gift to your best friends for supporting you on the most important day of your life is a fishing shirt with their name/initials on it? A monogrammed fishing shirt they're required to wear so you can have "omg cute insta pics"?

Absolutely not, I am giving my bridesmaids a monogrammed fishing shirt, that they all agreed on. I received a picture of them in a group text saying OMG we would love this. 

It may not be your style, but since we are a coastal group, it is ours. 

A little background: Fiance is a Captain, I work in Marine Industry, We live on an Island... Should I continue, or do you get the picture? 

"Is your thank you gift to your bridesmaids a monogrammed fishing shirt?"
"Absolutely not, it's a monogrammed fishing shirt."

And yes, I get the picture. You're taking your interests and you fiance's profession, dressing your BMs up like props so you can have super cute (not cute) photos, and trying to pass it off as a gift. 

flantastic

I love OP's attitude, and I get that she's already decided against it, but I'll share my robe experience anyway for illustration.

I just moved, and in the process of moving found the one BM robe I've ever been given. I had never worn it since the wedding, and I tried it on and remembered why - not only did it not fit well, but it was super cheap and didn't feel great. At the wedding itself, I was 7 weeks postpartum, and the robe really did not fit well. Having pictures taken of me in a too-small, ill-fitting piece of lingerie was just about the last thing that sounded cute and awesome to me. That bride was pretty laid back, but I still think of that with a little resentment for the bride blinders she clearly had on.

So to our fishing shirt girl, I imagine your BMs are excited because at least you're not asking for lingerie pics, but that doesn't mean that they will wear and treasure the shirt forever and always and will get a bunch of use out of it in their own fishing hobbies. An appropriate thank you gift is about what they like. Whether they ever find a use for the shirt again doesn't make it a good gift - much better gifts exist which are actually about their individual likes, and you're choosing to forgo those types of gifts because you really want the look and the pics for yourself.

holyguacamole79

[Deleted User] said:

southernbelle0915 said:

brittany&andrew-2 said:

In Lieu of robes, I ordered Fishing Shirts for the Bridal Party, had them monogrammed. We will wear them getting ready, and almost all of the ladies are excited to wear them again. It was a little more expensive (and I have a smaller bridal party) but it is feasible because it's doubling as getting ready/thank you gifts. You may look at getting dress shirts, or something else. 

The one exception is that I was able to find a floral silk robe for my Flower Girl on Amazon for $17. She love ANYTHING girly, so she will be all over it. 

Best of Luck! 

I want to make sure I understand this correctly. Your gift to your best friends for supporting you on the most important day of your life is a fishing shirt with their name/initials on it? A monogrammed fishing shirt they're required to wear so you can have "omg cute insta pics"?

Absolutely not, I am giving my bridesmaids a monogrammed fishing shirt, that they all agreed on. I received a picture of them in a group text saying OMG we would love this. 

It may not be your style, but since we are a coastal group, it is ours. 

A little background: Fiance is a Captain, I work in Marine Industry, We live on an Island... Should I continue, or do you get the picture? 

ahoywedding

holyguacamole79 said:

[Deleted User] said:

southernbelle0915 said:

brittany&andrew-2 said:

In Lieu of robes, I ordered Fishing Shirts for the Bridal Party, had them monogrammed. We will wear them getting ready, and almost all of the ladies are excited to wear them again. It was a little more expensive (and I have a smaller bridal party) but it is feasible because it's doubling as getting ready/thank you gifts. You may look at getting dress shirts, or something else. 

The one exception is that I was able to find a floral silk robe for my Flower Girl on Amazon for $17. She love ANYTHING girly, so she will be all over it. 

Best of Luck! 

I want to make sure I understand this correctly. Your gift to your best friends for supporting you on the most important day of your life is a fishing shirt with their name/initials on it? A monogrammed fishing shirt they're required to wear so you can have "omg cute insta pics"?

Absolutely not, I am giving my bridesmaids a monogrammed fishing shirt, that they all agreed on. I received a picture of them in a group text saying OMG we would love this. 

It may not be your style, but since we are a coastal group, it is ours. 

A little background: Fiance is a Captain, I work in Marine Industry, We live on an Island... Should I continue, or do you get the picture? 

 I was waiting for this reference!

OP, you've got a great attitude about this! Best of luck with planning  

banana468

My husband is an engineer who loves cars.   

None of the gifts to my BMs reflected my husband's tastes.    Quite frankly, if any of my husbands gifts to me reflected engineering or cars I'd start taking out his Amex to buy my own. 

MobKaz

[Deleted User] said:

In Lieu of robes, I ordered Fishing Shirts for the Bridal Party, had them monogrammed. We will wear them getting ready, and almost all of the ladies are excited to wear them again. It was a little more expensive (and I have a smaller bridal party) but it is feasible because it's doubling as getting ready/thank you gifts. You may look at getting dress shirts, or something else. 

The one exception is that I was able to find a floral silk robe for my Flower Girl on Amazon for $17. She love ANYTHING girly, so she will be all over it. 

Best of Luck! 

What happens to the lady (ies) NOT excited to wear them? Your message is "here is something I LIKE that I am giving you KNOWING you do not want or like it".  That's some sincere "thank you".

I cannot imagine anyone that would waste money on an item knowing AHEAD of time that someone has zero desire for it.

MobKaz

@kristinalynn9, could I interest you in a trip to the Chit Chat board and the post, "The Robes in Action" please?

kristinalynn91

My opinion of this has been pretty much solved, so I don't need to continue on the discussion  

southernbelle0915

kristinalynn91 said:

My opinion of this has been pretty much solved, so I don't need to continue on the discussion  

Aye aye captain - appreciate you policing the board. But if that's what you want, don't push this thread to the top after the most recent comment was like 6 weeks ago...

holyguacamole79

kristinalynn91 said:

My opinion of this has been pretty much solved, so I don't need to continue on the discussion  

And yet you just continued the discussion ......

flantastic

I'm thinking OP just signed back in, got the notifications, and didn't notice the time frame/doesn't realize that it would have been more dead if she hadn't responded. I'm thinking "continue the discussion" is more on a personal level - she's not going to be responding to more followups.

Of course, she could have just not responded to the followup to say that, but I get how she thinks she was extending a courtesy to MobKaz by acknowledging her suggestion and saying "I'm not going to do that."

iloveu4ever

Yes they have to buy enough as it is.