Wedding Etiquette Forum

Save the date plus one?

Sending save the dates out soon and working on how to address them.

Since we bought out the entire venue we have a minimum that we have to reach/pay for regardless so everyone over the age of 16 is allowed to bring a date (it can be their best friend if they want. Makes no difference to me. Whoever they want if fine.)

However, how do I address the save the dates? For invites I know it's just "and guest" but do I do the same for save the dates or since they are informal just to them.

long-term known/Engaged/married couples I am putting both names.



Re: Save the date plus one?

  • Side of my friends is getting married about a week after the STDs will be delivered...Can I go ahead and put "Mr and Mrs new-last-name" on her STD (for the formal invite it will be Mr and Mrs) or should I separate it still?  


  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    It's ok to use the "and guest" for your truly single guests on STDs just as you would on an invitation. Well, actually, the formal etiquette says you wouldn't use "& guest" on either, but you'd enclose a note inviting them to bring along a guest, but I think that is dead in most circles.

    I would just be careful about including & guest on the STDs. Once you send an STD, you're stuck inviting them. If you don't include guests, you can always add them to the invitations later. Thinking about travel and scheduling, how many of your guests really need to know that they can bring a guest that far in advance? If a lot of them are local, it might be smarter to leave yourself the wiggle room for now. 
  • Unless you are having a destination wedding, I would urge you NOT to send STDs to anyone except your VIP guests.  STDs are not required at all, but they are a courtesy to OOT guests so that they can make travel plans.  You can always send invitations to people to whom you didn't send STDs, but once you have sent an STD, you  MUST send the invitation.  No wiggle room.
  • SP29SP29 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited September 2017
    I would leave off the "and guests" until the invitations. STD are never required, and once sent, you are obligated to send an invitation (which would include an "and guest" for everyone you previously offered to).

    Of course anyone in a relationship should have their SO invited by name, so that person can go on the STD.
  • We added "and guest" to OOT guests' STDs, so that they knew when they were making travel plans that they could bring someone. If it feels weird to write that on the envelope, you can always verbally tell them. It's nice when making plans to know ahead of time if you'll be covering everything yourself or not, and some people need a billion years' notice to take off work, etc.

    I would also just echo PPs on not sending STDs to everyone. We did that, and there were a few people we ended up being not as close to as it got time to send out invites. It didn't blow our budget or ruin the wedding or anything, but if I could do it over I would have sent them just to OOT family and friends, and our local "definitely invited" guests. 
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