Registry and Gift Forum

Arguing About Registry Items?

Hi everyone!

So my fiance and I are beginning to register for stuff, and we're in agreement about most things- bedroom, bathroom, decor, etc.

The ONLY part we're disagreeing about is kitchen stuff. Apparently, his mom has a ton of stuff she can give us, which is super sweet of her, but I have no idea what they will look like, if it'll all match, etc.

We got a bunch of stuff from her when we moved in together, and I gladly took it because it was very kind of her, we needed what she gave us, and she wanted to get rid of it anyway.

But our kitchen is all mismatched, the plates don't match, the silverware doesn't match. Now that we're getting married and planning on buying a house soon, I would like to have a cohesive look to my dishes, especially when we're entertaining!

Am I being completely dumb about this? And if not, any advice? 

8.18.18 <3

Re: Arguing About Registry Items?

  • IMO, it can't hurt to register for more. What's the harm in registering for sets of dishes? If she gifts you an amazing hand-me-down set you can either remove them from your registry or if someone has bought you some, you can return them. Do you know when you may be receiving her old items so you can see what you may want to upgrade?
  • I don't, but considering we do have quite a while until our shower, we could always ask her to see what she has?
    8.18.18 <3
  • Your wedding is a very good opportunity to get things for your home that you want. At no other time in your life will you literally have an exact list of stuff from a specific store that you actually want and that people actually stick to. I don't think it's dumb to capitalize on this and register for the things you want. If MIL gives you stuff, bonus! Use what you need and donate the rest. 

    BUT if you want to compromise with our FI, why don't y'all ask her to go through what she wants to give you (together and in person, if possible). Don't say yes to anything on the spot. Go back and talk about it together. Decide on a few things to accept and register for the rest. 
    All of this.

    We were lucky that I was given nice dishes when I had my first apartment.   They're good quality and they're FINE.   But I really wish I had a reason to move on from them and get a set of every day that's matching.   If I had to go back I would have put them on the registry.   
  • Ditto @southernbelle0915. We were a little older when we got married and had already lived on our own for a while, so we took the opportunity to register for things that matched. We kept our old dishes, etc as backup and stuck them in a closet.

    Maybe you guys can go through you FMIL's stuff and agree on a couple items to keep (and try to make sure you use when she comes over ;) )
  • Think about how much you can save for the kitchen stuff! Plus think about what other things you can buy with the money. How lucky are you to to have a mother-in-law who really loves sharing. I say have some French spirit, they can make everything match.
  • I don't think it's wrong at all for you to want everything matching.  I'm in the same situation right now, when we moved in together my fiance and I combined all of our kitchen items, so it's all mismatched.  We're using our registry to not only ask for all brand new dished/silverware/glasses etc. so that everything matches, but also going through what we have and looking for "upgraded" versions.  While it's sweet that your MIL is offering additional items, I don't think there is any harm in wanting one cohesive set for your brand new home/kitchen
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