Vow Renewal

pixiedust10116

My Husband & I have decided to renew our vows but we didn't have the real big wedding we had wanted when we first got married 4 years ago . Is that inappropriate to do so now? He doesn't want to do it like everyone else's , so we have decided to do it in October to avoid the holiday's when people might not be able to make it.  We have decided to add a little Christmas to it ( as its my favorite Holiday) .We aren't doing Santa or red and green or anything as its not all christmas. 

lnixon8

4 years is pretty early for a vow renewal, but that's a preference thing, not a hard and fast etiquette rule. Don't have a total recreation: no wedding party, no toasts, no showers, no dramatic cake cutting or first dance, etc.

As for the Christmas in October...sounds a little weird. What details are you thinking of adding?

CMGragain

pixiedust10116 said:

My Husband & I have decided to renew our vows but we didn't have the real big wedding we had wanted when we first got married 4 years ago . Is that inappropriate to do so now? He doesn't want to do it like everyone else's , so we have decided to do it in October to avoid the holiday's when people might not be able to make it.  We have decided to add a little Christmas to it ( as its my favorite Holiday) .We aren't doing Santa or red and green or anything as its not all christmas. 

I'm sorry, but vow renewals are not second weddings.  They are usually done after the couple has spent many years married.  If you invite people to a "vow renewal" that is really a big re-do wedding, you won't fool anyone.  Vow renewals are usually quiet occasions with a simple vow recitation immediately followed by a reception.

As for the Christmas in October theme, please remember that Christmas is a religious holiday for many people, and this might offend someone. 

southernbelle0915

Actual vow renewals are usually reserved for milestone anniversaries (like 25, 50, 60) or a couple navigating a difficult life event (think cancer, a tragic accident, etc.). They're used to say "after all this time and all we've been through, we still believe in our original vows". 

It's ok to have wedding regret....but having a vow renewal because "we didn't have the real big wedding we had wanted when we first got married" isn't really a good reason to renew your vows. 

If you want to just have a party, have a 5 year anniversary party! No one ever complained about a reason to party. Hire a DJ/band, book a caterer, get a fabulous cake, buy a fun party dress. Just don't pretend the event is something it's not. It's not a wedding. It's an anniversary party. 

kahluakoala

So you want to have a 4-year Christmas-themed vow renewal in October?

Sorry, that's pretty weird. I also vote 5-year anniversary party (or 4 year, if you're so inclined) OR throw a bomb-ass formal christmas party this or next year (since you're so into Christmas)

knottie0a31e052a035644f

Enjoy your anniversary party.

ahoywedding

Could you wait until your 5 year anniversary? I agree, a 4 year vow renewal seems a little off.

What about a super awesome Christmas party? Or, if you live further away from a lot of you guests and want to avoid holiday travel, what about a fun Christmas-in-July party? 

MRDCle

KahluaKoala said:

So you want to have a 4-year Christmas-themed vow renewal in October?

Sorry, that's pretty weird. I also vote 5-year anniversary party (or 4 year, if you're so inclined) OR throw a bomb-ass formal christmas party this or next year (since you're so into Christmas)

My thoughts exactly.