Thirty day final count?

auntiek2018

My daughter is getting married October 13, 2018.  The caterer we are using (highly recommended by both the venue and several past clients) is requesting a 30 day final count.  In order to allow a bit of wiggle room for the late responders that might need prodding, I figure we would need RSVPs due 6 weeks prior to the wedding, and then invites sent out around 10 weeks prior.  Do you think this is too early?

missJeanLouise

auntiek2018 said:

My daughter is getting married October 13, 2018.  The caterer we are using (highly recommended by both the venue and several past clients) is requesting a 30 day final count.  In order to allow a bit of wiggle room for the late responders that might need prodding, I figure we would need RSVPs due 6 weeks prior to the wedding, and then invites sent out around 10 weeks prior.  Do you think this is too early?

I would push back with the caterer. How many people are you inviting to the wedding? If it not a huge number, a week should suffice for tracking down stragglers but I would try to give the caterers a soft number at 30 days. @lyndausvi will probably have better advice.

ILoveBeachMusic

I agree that 30 days is way to far out. We didn't have to give our daughter's caterer a hard number until one week out. Even then we could add on for an additional price if needed. I would push back with a soft count at 30 days. We only needed about a week for RSVPs (only had one person who didn't respond). If I were you and could get the caterer to agree to a soft count at 30 days, I would send the invites out at 8 weeks, RSVPs due 1 month (that would be the soft count) and hard count (you've tracked down stragglers) at 2 weeks.

ahoywedding

30 days is way too far out. Our caterer said they needed the numbers two weeks ahead of time, so we set our RSVP date for 3 weeks out. We didn't even get the final invoice from the caterer until a week or so before the wedding, which was great because one of our friends found out at the super last minute he got off work so we were able to add him into the count.

How big is your wedding? We planned for like 180 people (ended up with 130), which isn't super small, so unless your wedding is gigantic or the catering is super specific, I don't see how they could need 30 days to prep. Your guests may not know if they're able to come 6 weeks out. 

MairePoppy

Hi @auntiek2018, welcome to The Knot. I also joined as an MOB so many years ago. I enjoyed the company so I stuck around, hope you will enjoy your time here, also.

Requesting and requiring are two different things. Unless the wedding is in some remote location, where it is difficult to transport supplies, tell the caterer you will give soft numbers at thirty days out and final count at two weeks. But to answer your question, the due date should be no more than two weeks before you need your final count. 

In my area, wedding RSVPs are sometimes requested thirty days before the wedding.  That results in some would-be guests not being able to accept the invitation or asking for extensions. I haven't heard of a caterer denying the request, yet.

charlotte989875

I would also push back on the caterer and ask when you need a hard number. There's no way they actually need a hard number 4 weeks out unless (like someone said above) it's a remote location or some extenuating circumstance. I

Jen4948

I would also tell the caterer that a headcount won't be available until closer to the wedding (say, 2 weeks).

southernbelle0915

Push back. That's way too early and you are the customer. Like Marie said, unless your daughter is getting married in some place where it's really hard to get supplies (like they need to be air lifted or shipped in), this request is really unreasonable. They don't need the numbers more than 2 weeks in advance - tops. 

lyndausvi

My personal experience  working at various places is 72 hours out for hard numbers.

 Soft numbers are given to the venue about a month out, then 2 weeks out.  This is the number of yeses + the number of unknown.  It gives the venue an idea of what to expect.   For example, if you sent out 100 invites and 60 said yes and only 20 are outstanding the most you will have is 80 people.

I've lived in some very remote places and major cities.  Including islands where EVERYTHING needs to be shipped/flown in and small mountain towns where snow or rock slides can close down interstates for days.     Even then a month out is completely unnecessary.  

  Chefs are not going to order food that far out.   Sure my husband (a chef) will give a vendor a heads up that he might need 'x' amount of whatever based on soft numbers, but he doesn't actually order product until a few days out.   

I guess if you have a lot of speciality items they might need some extra lead time.  But in my experience those people tend to pay a premium anyway.

In my opinion 30 days out is only to get you to pay more money.  Vendor know that most people will have fallout within a few weeks of any event.   Shit happens, people get sick/injured, work changes, whatever might keep them from now attending.  By making you lock in a number far out puts easy money in their pocket.    Funny thing is, if you call them 2 weeks out and add number, they more than likely will not have a problem adding revenue.


I've seen 100 person parties pop-up in under a week.  No one is going to convince me a standard wedding event all the sudden needs a month lead time for the same results.

auntiek2018

Thanks everyone!  My daughter is due back in Ohio next weekend (currently doing a residency in Arizona - the joys of long distance planning!) and we will be having a tasting with the caterer.  We'll definitely push for only a "soft" number at 30 with a hard number closer to the event.  You've reinforced my belief that it IS quite early for a hard count and given me the confidence that taking a stand for a later date is not out of order :-)