Hi there! I am newly engaged to my awesome partner and we're getting married next year. We threw/fully hosted an engagement party (aka pizza/beer) just to celebrate with our friends (all invited to the wedding of course). Most people brought booze which they immediately placed on the booze table/fridge (common in our social sphere) so I'm not even sure who brought what. However two people did give us small gifts, which was utterly unexpected and delightful. Several of my family members have also given us gifts, though not at a specific occasion or event. Each item I received was opened in front of the giver and profuse thank yous were offered. If we'd had an engagement party were gifting was expected/implied, or this was a shower, I would know the answer to my question. In general with my friends/family I offer thanks in person and only write a thank you note if I receive the gift in the mail/open it when they are not there. However because these gifts are *~*wedding*~* related I'm not sure if the etiquette changes. I doubt too many thank you cards is ever a bad thing, and my gut says send them, but I wanted to get a pulse check from other etiquette fans. Also we did get a few engagement cards w/o a gift enclosed - normally I would not send a thank you note in such a circumstance (probably just a call or text with a hearty expression of gratitude) - but does this change too?
Thanks in advance for your help
Re: Thank You Notes for Engagement Gifts?
Congratulations on your engagement.
If they didnt give you any way to identify the giver oh well.
No thank you cards for a greeting card.
Always send thank you notes for any gift, wine, booze, food, or other, as soon as possible. This etiquette never changes.
In future, please ensure you don't host your own bridal shower {if you have one} You can help and have say in it if you'd like, but best to not host it.
{for example, I know who is throwing my baby shower and I'm helping with some things but I'm not the host}
As for thank you notes, it's ALWAYS nice to send an actual note when you get a gift. But that being said, the amount that it's an egregious etiquette error to not send a note decreases if you opened the gift in person and then thanked them in person.
I think you're totally fine. You should spend 0 minutes stressing about the "etiquette faux pas" of the party, write those thank you notes, and be done with it. Clearly you didn't imply to people that it was a "gift giving occassion" like a shower, because most people brought gifts similar to any other dinner party - a bottle of booze and maybe a card.
I feel like your party was typical for your crowd, with everyone bringing something to share. The difference is that you and fi bought beer and pizza because you are excited about your engagement. I think you can just move on from this and honestly don't know if the booze warrants thank you notes, since that is what your friends would have brought to any other party. It's not necessary to send 'thank you for celebrating with us' cards to everyone who attended, but I would, in this case, to cover your arse. And make sure you mention any actual gifts to the givers.
You know what? I like you. You've taken our advice in stride and seem to be concerned about your loved one's feelings and how they are perceived. I hope you will decide to choose a screen name and stick around.
edit - grammar