Vow Renewals

Vow Renewal Time Frame

We got married in 2016 and we want to do a 10 year vow renewal. Is it too soon to start rough planning? What would you do?

Re: Vow Renewal Time Frame

  • edited February 2018
    We got married in 2016 and we want to do a 10 year vow renewal. Is it too soon to start rough planning? What would you do?


    Yes it's too early! You don't need 8 years to plan what's essentially an anniversary party at this point, seeing as how you literally just got married. Personally, i sees vow renewls as a way to reaffirm your commitment after particularly trying times or a significant amount of time (like 25 or even 50 years), so the fact that you're planning one after 2 years or less of marriage for 8 years from now is bizarre.

    As to what I'd do, I'd sit on the idea for another 7 years and revisit it then, but just throw a big fun anniversary party, if I absolutely needed to throw myself something.
  • Seriously you’re asking if 8 years is too early to start planning a party?! I’d definitely say it’s too early. 

    Why do you want to have a vow renewal, and why do you want to start planning now?
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    It's way too early. You should spend the next 8 years living your lives. If you feel the need for a ten year vow renewal, you could plan a very nice ceremony and reception in less than 6 months. 
  • Very few things in this world require 8 years to plan. A vow renewal is definitely not on that list. It's not up to me to decide how soon is too soon to do a vow renewal, but this is something that you think about and plan months before, not years before. Live your life and come back to this question when it gets closer to your 10th anniversary. 

  • Not only is it way too early to start planning a vow renewal, I feel like this is really, really bad juju for your marriage. Vow renewals for under 20 years are usually for major catastrophic life events (ie: someone in the relationship had cancer) or there was infidelity/ a near-divorce.  

    Vow renewals are just parties. They are not wedding take 2. Weddings, let alone parties, do not take 8 years to plan. I mean, the 2024 Olympics were JUST announced a few months ago. If Paris can organise and arrange a multibillion Euro sporting event for millions of visitors in 6 years, I think you are good to wait a bit in deciding if you want crab cakes or gazpacho shooters in the passed hors d'ouevres . 

    Did something happen with your wedding that you are not happy about? Why do you want a renewal?

    THIS. I would not tempt fate. 
  • I'm with the other PPs in their confusion.

    From a technical standpoint, other than bouncing off general ideas with your H, what would you all even be planning?  You might have a good idea of family you'd invite, but who knows how many people/friends outside of that you'd want to include.  The "numbers" are a big part of planning any kind of party.  No vendors are going to be able to reserve anything this far out.  They couldn't even give you valid prices at this point.

    I'd look instead at why you all are already thinking about a vow renewal.  Perhaps focus on the source of that angst instead.

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  • lovesclimbinglovesclimbing Alaska member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited February 2018
    I can't think of anything except the Olympics that requires eight years to plan, and they're literally building new construction and spending billions.  Unless you are also planning to spend $10 billion (the cost of Pyeongchang) on your vow renewal, it is much too early. 

  • It sounds like you just really want to plan a party and you think having a 10 year vow renewal is the closest thing to a good excuse. 

    1) That's now why you do vow renewals - plus anything under 25 years is usually for getting through major life issues together, like a tough disease or accident. 
    2) Even if you were to do this, you can start planning in 2025 or 2026...but definitely NOT in 2018! lol even the Kardashians don't take that long to plan parties.

    If you just want to host a big party, just host a big party. Host a huge bash for the Kentucky Derby, or an epic Halloween party, or a swanky holiday party, or a fancy New Years Eve party, or a 4th of July party with private fireworks or a milestone birthday party (20/30/40) for your spouse. 

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