i am addressing my save the dates and want to check on a few titles / addressing and ask a few questions.
1. I want to address my married guests with the same last name using both first names (I HATE Mr. and Mrs. HisName - makes my skin crawl). Is the best way to do this “Mr. and Mrs. HisFirst and HerFirst TheirLast” or is there a better way?
2. For a married couple when the woman is a doctor and the man is not and they have the same last name...thinking “Mr. and Dr. HisFirst and HerFirst TheirLast”. Is this correct?
3. A widow who is bringing her SO (unmarried, and she still uses the last name of her late husband) I was thinking:
Mrs. HerFirst HerLast
Mr. HisFirst HisLast
is this correct or should I use Ms.?
Thank you etiquette experts!
Re: Addressing envelopes...save the dates
Same here - I don’t really want to argue about it but I’m just simply not going to default to erasing a woman’s name. But since this is “improper” it’s not immediately obvious what the cleanest way to do this is.
I have over 200 guests, and getting everyone’s mailing address, SOs name, etc is enough work without asking every single person their title
Im one of the people in the camp that hates Mrs. Hisfirst HisLast. I find it sexist and old fashioned.
For our wedding, I checked with my mom & MIL about relatives and what their preferences may be, and used everyone's own first and last names for our friends. I do agree if you're sending an email or calling to gather addresses it doesn't take much longer to ask how that person prefers to be addressed. I did it with a few cousins when I wasn't sure if they changed their last names after getting married. We did get an invite for my cousin's wedding that was addressed to Mr. and Mrs. HisName and I was pretty chapped about it.
Since save the dates are informal anyway, I would probably just use HisFirst & HerFirst Lastname and skip titles for everyone.
Now, what to do about the 200 person guest list that was partially assembled by your FMIL? It's fine to proceed with the addresses, as your FMIL presented them. When you receive cards, gifts, rsvps, kindly update the titles and addresses accordingly.
There's also the option of addressing those invitations to married couples as: Mr. and Mrs. Lastname on the outer envelopes. Write their first names on the inner envelopes.