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Wedding Woes

Consult a lawyer.

Dear Prudence,

I broke up with my ex-girlfriend in February because she took financial advantage of me and treated me in a manner I found fetishistic and cruel because I’m autistic. Since the breakup she’s messaged me repeatedly about cheating on her current partner and disrespecting his gender identity, as well as making Rain Man jokes about me.

I had crashed her car in January. Luckily no one was hurt and I paid all bills in full, arranged for the car to be towed and repaired, coordinated with the DMV, and consulted a lawyer. But her car wasn’t insured at the time, and she’s been given a misdemeanor for allowing her car to be driven without insurance. I think she may be in further trouble for failing to appear in court.

A few days ago she started bombarding me with texts, calls, and Facebook messages demanding help with her legal troubles. I don’t want to, in part because she’s been committing insurance fraud and that’s almost certainly going to come up during her trial. However, she’s suggested that she’s going to try to blame me to get out of trouble. I don’t think she has anything on me, but if she wanted to pull me into court by, for instance, accusing me of stealing her car, I would still have to show up. Cross-country plane tickets are expensive, and I don’t want to waste vacation days to show up to court for her nonsense. So far my plan has been to be polite but detached. Am I on the right path? Is there anything I can do besides sit back and wait? Do I have a moral and ethical obligation to at least inform her about what I know, even though I find her behavior repugnant?

—Misdemeaning Ex

Re: Consult a lawyer.

  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom South Jersey member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    I'd go for a free consult with an attorney, if LW can find one.  Like Charlotte said, it may take reaching out to the DA to provide a statement or more.  Also, if a subpoena is issued, the person is usually reimbursed for their traveling costs, or the attorneys go to them.

    I think Ex is just trying to get more money out of LW.  I'm glad they had enough sense to ask someone (even though it was Prudie!) about this.  I would stop responding to the texts and messages and probably block Ex as well.

  • Ugh, yet another loser (the g/f) who blames everybody else for the fact that she can't even go through life taking care of basic issues.  Like having insurance for her car and appearing in court.

    I agree with the other PPs.  I think the LW should find an attorney.  For free through a service would be great, but (hopefully) just making an inquiry for the best course of action wouldn't be too expensive.  At least at this point.

    Follow the attorney's instructions, in regards to contact.  He might be told to block all communication channels and ignore it, until something comes...if it ever does...by either mail or being served. 

    I'm not sure why he didn't block her a long time ago, before anything legal came up.  Then she would have had to contact him via certified mail with proof of mailing.  And if it is all just smoke and b.s., she probably wouldn't have bothered.

    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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