Wedding 4 months away...not offically engaged yet

augustgirl21

Asking this for one of my friends. 
She's getting married in early October (booked venues and such) but since they are having the ring custom designed she doesn't have the engagement ring yet and he wants to do a big "will you marry me" thing for her. 
It's her 2nd wedding, his first but she didn't get the whole wedding and bride experience the first time so she wants more of that now but still wants to keep it small. (80 people max) 
She asked me to be her MOH and I was BEYOND flattered but she feels really bad asking people to be a part of the wedding since it's so close!! She doesn't want "bridesmaid dresses" just wants us to wear a dress we feel beautiful in and goes with her colors. 
How do I help her with all this?  

MobKaz

If this is her second marriage, she was a bride and did have a wedding. 

I’m not sure I understand what help she needs. They have a date and venue. They have a guest list. They need to order invitations. 

It sounds like your friend is worried that no official, “We’re engaged” announcement has been made and that the invitations will come as a surprise to friends and family. However, since the venue has already been booked, nothing can change. All she can do is send invitations out and hope for the best. If she is inviting guests from out of town, your friend might want to fill them in on the date. Ring or not, your friend is engaged. Her focus needs to be on the wedding. 

charlotte989875

I mean, she's engaged if she's planning a wedding, but if they want to wait and "make it official" once they have the ring, then cool. But how long will that take? October isn't that far away and if they have a lot of out of town guests they may want to start spreading the word. 

As a MOH you don't have to do anything other than show up in the dress. Sounds like she's having you choose your own, which is great! Other things MOH's often do (but in no way are required to!) would be host a shower if you are interested and/or a bachelorette party/bridal tea. Again, you absolutely do not have to do these things! You can also offer to help her with anything that she needs if you have the time/ability to do so. But again, you definitely don't need to!

ahoywedding

It sounds like she's got everything together if she's got all her venues & vendors booked. And big yay that she's letting you choose your dress! She should get her invites out soon though, especially if she's got any guests from OOT. If you want to host any pre-wedding parties, you could offer that as well but you'd need the guest list to begin. 

I do think it's fairly silly to let the desire for a big engagement announcement hold up letting friends & family know they're getting married since everything is already planned but to each their own...