Groomsman dropped out 1week before wedding

knottie6f05dc9f7907d7da

One of our groomsmen apparently has been forced to to take a shift at work on our wedding day. He notified us 10 days before the wedding We already have his groomsman gift engraved with his first name on it. Do we send it to him anyway? Sell it on ebay? We've already paid for his bouttenier too. What to do? 

ShesSoCold

knottie6f05dc9f7907d7da said:

One of our groomsmen apparently has been forced to to take a shift at work on our wedding day. He notified us 10 days before the wedding We already have his groomsman gift engraved with his first name on it. Do we send it to him anyway? Sell it on ebay? We've already paid for his bouttenier too. What to do? 

Of course you send it to him. He's still your FI's good friend or family member! 

Call your florist and see if you can cancel the one bout. Otherwise, you'll jsut have to eat the cost.

I'm sorry this happened. 

knottie6f05dc9f7907d7da

I emailed the florist, to see if we could put the cost toward and extra bag of petals instead.
FI is thinking send the engraved gift after the wedding with our thank you cards

climbingsingle

Of course you still send it! Why would you sell it!?

ahoywedding

Definitely send it, it's not his fault he got scheduled to work. And that's a good idea asking to use the money toward something else with the florist; that way no one is out anything and you can get some extra decorations

You didn't mention this, but just for any lurkers, don't try to replace any member of the wedding party who drops out. It will make both friends or family members feel bad and like they're replaceable in your life. 

Jen4948

Yes, send it. It's not his fault he was unexpectedly prevented from attending the wedding.

banana468

Of course you still send it! 

knottie6f05dc9f7907d7da

We do have reason to believe that work is not the actual reason. But we do wish he would've brought it up sooner than 10 days before the wedding; whether it was a matter of not having the money for the tux rental, or a babysitter. Or neglected to get the day off in advance.
In either case. We could never find a replacement a WEEK before the wedding, nor want to. The florist is exchanging his bout for extra tossing petals. 
And we will probably send his gift after the wedding. FI is still pretty upset on the short notice.

climbingsingle

knottie6f05dc9f7907d7da said:

We do have reason to believe that work is not the actual reason. But we do wish he would've brought it up sooner than 10 days before the wedding; whether it was a matter of not having the money for the tux rental, or a babysitter. Or neglected to get the day off in advance.
In either case. We could never find a replacement a WEEK before the wedding, nor want to. The florist is exchanging his bout for extra tossing petals. 
And we will probably send his gift after the wedding. FI is still pretty upset on the short notice.

So, your inclination is that he is lying? That's a huge conclusion to jump to. 

knottie6f05dc9f7907d7da

I have never met the man; according to my FH he hasn't been in touch with the guy in a few years before he had asked him to be in the wedding party...according to him his friend had been a little on the flaky side before this. And he had doubts about asking him to be in the wedding in the first place...my FH doesn't have a lot of close friends. I think he is really regretting having asked him to be a groomsman. Like I said. Never met him; just going on what FH is telling me; he is assuming there was more to his excuse than work.I believe him, to a degree. 

climbingsingle

knottie6f05dc9f7907d7da said:

I have never met the man; according to my FH he hasn't been in touch with the guy in a few years before he had asked him to be in the wedding party...according to him his friend had been a little on the flaky side before this. And he had doubts about asking him to be in the wedding in the first place...my FH doesn't have a lot of close friends. I think he is really regretting having asked him to be a groomsman. Like I said. Never met him; just going on what FH is telling me; he is assuming there was more to his excuse than work.I believe him, to a degree. 

If your FI hadn't been in touch with the guy in years, he should not have asked him to be a groomsman. Your wedding party is supposed to be made up of your closest friends that you want to honor. Maybe the guy was weirded out that he was asked to stand up in someone's wedding that he is not friends with. Maybe he felt uncomfortable saying no. 

It's OK if your FI doesn't have a lot of close friends. He could have just asked the ones he closest to. Obviously that ship has sailed though. 

Send the guy his gift and be done with it. 

MobKaz

climbingwife said:

knottie6f05dc9f7907d7da said:

I have never met the man; according to my FH he hasn't been in touch with the guy in a few years before he had asked him to be in the wedding party...according to him his friend had been a little on the flaky side before this. And he had doubts about asking him to be in the wedding in the first place...my FH doesn't have a lot of close friends. I think he is really regretting having asked him to be a groomsman. Like I said. Never met him; just going on what FH is telling me; he is assuming there was more to his excuse than work.I believe him, to a degree. 

If your FI hadn't been in touch with the guy in years, he should not have asked him to be a groomsman. Your wedding party is supposed to be made up of your closest friends that you want to honor. Maybe the guy was weirded out that he was asked to stand up in someone's wedding that he is not friends with. Maybe he felt uncomfortable saying no. 

It's OK if your FI doesn't have a lot of close friends. He could have just asked the ones he closest to. Obviously that ship has sailed though. 

Send the guy his gift and be done with it. 

I have to wonder how this GM was asked to be in the wedding party.  It sounds to me as if this GM was caught off guard, and understandably so.  He probably didn't know what to say and found himself agreeing before even realizing what had happened.  It's a shame this GM could not have contacted your FI sooner than 10 days out.  Was there no bachelor party?  Had you had any contact from this GM since asking him to be in the wedding party?

It's a shame this happened but it isn't life altering. 

Another note for lurkers in addition to choosing wedding party members wisely is to put any wedding glitches into perspective.  OP, I wish I could tell you how many brides may have titled this post, "Disaster/Crisis/The World is Ending 10 Days Before the Wedding"!  This is a great place to ask/vent prior to reacting poorly and/or unnecessarily!  Good on you!

Happy Wedding to you!

holyguacamole79

This is one of those things that you have no control over.  Remind yourself of that and let it be.  I'm glad to hear the florist is helping you out!